Recently I performed a search on the internet for “The Alphabet Of Swearing” in the hopes of finding a list of curse words beginning with each letter of the alphabet. Much to my surprise, aside from an article or two from websites somehow even shittier than this one, I came up emptyhanded. Needless to say, […]
When it comes to lame environmental superheroes, there few lamer than Captain Planet. Admittedly, this is mostly due to the fact that I can’t think of any other environmental superheroes and can’t be bothered to do any research, but it’s also because he’s a scantily-clad man with a green mullet whose only friends are the […]
It has been said that if The Bible were to be faithfully adapted for the big screen, it would almost certainly be the most astonishingly obscene film ever made. I doubt that anyone who is familiar with The Written Word Of God would contest this. The subject matter of the Old Testament alone (with its […]
Ray Kroc the ruthless entrepreneur often held responsible for the success of McDonalds, gets a lot of posthumous respect, and frankly, as someone who worked at McDonald’s when I was a teenager, this really pisses me off. What’s so bad about Ray Kroc? Here’s one example: He is said to have coined the phrase “If […]
In these troubled modern times, the life of a child is filled with innumerable dangers. 10 children (many of them minors) are abducted or injured EVERY DAY in the US. Fortunately, Snapple is here to help. With the assistance of Families Against Violence and the American Lung Association, Snapple has utilized their patented “Snapple Facts” […]
I hate to be the one to break it to you, but there’s a pretty decent chance you’re going to die. Don’t feel bad, it happens to the best of us. At the very least, you can take solace in the fact that you’re in good company. I have it on good authority that a […]
I’ve never quite understood people who claim to get “bored”. If you’ve got even a little bit of money, there’s no end to all the pointless crap you can buy to entertain yourself, and even the working poor should seemingly be kept busy (and so be saved from boredom) by their constant struggle to survive […]
Heed not the warnings of early 90s R&B groups. Waterfalls were placed on this earth by Our Lord God for one reason and one reason only: To be pursued. I realize that many of you may have a strong inclination towards sticking to the rivers and the lakes to which you have grown accustomed, but what […]
Those of you who know me best will agree that I have one passion and one passion only: Rock & Roll. My naughtiest fantasy is to climb into a hotrod, crank up my fave rock radio station to full, and cruise down the coast, honking at thick & juicy honeys while bobbing my head […]
In case you hadn’t noticed, I’m this guy who runs his own website. This makes my opinion only slightly more valuable than some random guy in a baseball cap who signed up for IMDB and gave The Truman Show 10 stars. Only slightly more valuable, but more valuable nonetheless. So you just know that […]
Due to the outstanding success of my recently published article on bucket lists, I decided to “take it to the streets” and accost complete strangers, jabbing a starter pistol in their ribs and insisting that they create their own top 10 lists of “Things to Do Before You Die”. Not surprisingly, many of them […]
As of the time this is being written, the year is 2010. It is officially The Future. Not quite what you expected, right? From what I was told, by this time were supposed to have become a race of golden brown superhumans with cheap and easy access to all the sex goggles, synthetic tree bark, […]