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How To Escape From The Cops

Let’s say you are accused of murdering a young girl, but you did not do it. What would you do? Think long and hard about it. Those of you who have seen the The Fugitive will know that being falsely accused of a horrible crime is no laughing matter. You may think that it cannot […]

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It’s The 12th Annual Most Insane Jerry Springer Episode Title Awards!

What follows is a list of ridiculous and puzzling titles given to various Episodes of The Jerry Springer Show. NOTICE: I do not watch (nor do I advocate the watching of) Jerry Springer. I only feel that it is my duty as an American Citizen to create lists of television show titles as a sort […]

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Reviews Untranslatable

Engrish Movie Reviews 4: Action Films!

Notice: The following is part of my unbelievably stupid Untranslatable series. After hastily writing these articles in English, I ran them through automated translators multiple times (choosing languages at random) until they were nearly unintelligible. I then edited them so they were somewhat less unintelligible (and hopefully at least partially readable). I did not add […]

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Sasquatch Faces Rejection in Husset Park

Sasquatch is out for an afternoon stroll in Husset Park. He stops at the foot of a grassy hill to admire a group of wild sunflowers. Suddenly a foam kickball rolls over the hill, coming to a stop at his feet. He picks it up, studying it for a moment, then he turns and begins […]

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How to Fight Dirty

Recently I published a guide on how to avoid a fight entitled How To Avoid a Fight Like The Coward You Are. After reading it over again, I came to the realization that only writing one such guide while ignoring the other possible outcomes would have been a great disservice to that one guy who reads […]

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5 More Swordfighting Tips for Sworders

By Martin “The Baron” Hubley I recently saw a story in the “news” in which a young boy diced up a would-be robber using only his samurai sword. The criminal was killed. The author tried to paint a grim picture of the boy as a needless murderer (“he should’ve just called the police!”), but I […]

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Reviews Untranslatable

Engrish Movie Reviews: Part 3

Notice: The following is part of my unbelievably stupid Untranslatable series. After hastily writing these articles in English, I ran them through automated translators multiple times (choosing languages at random) until they were nearly unintelligible. I then edited them so they were somewhat less unintelligible (and hopefully at least partially readable). I did not add […]