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History of Military Terms

By The Baron If you’ve ever watched a film or read a book about the military, you know that they use a lot of strange and interesting words and phrases that uneducated people have a hard time understanding. I have written this glossary to help those people. These particular terms come from the Vietnam War. I […]

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Top 10 Most Ridiculous Cars

By M. Anger Cars. Everybody has them (except really poor people, children, and many people in cities) and everybody loves them (except me). But there are some cars which I hate more than others: The Hummer H2, Dodge Magnum, Chrysler 300, and Mercedes SLR McLaren. These are cars which bring great shame upon themselves and […]

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Oh Great, I Graduated. Now What the F### am I Supposed to Do?

The path to high school graduation is fraught with dangers. The simple days of “an apple a day”, “join choir to get out of real classes” and “taunt the fat kid until he goes insane” are long gone. Battles with bands of wild brigands, an attack from a giant squid, and the death of their […]

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George Lucas & The Wedding

We went into the church and walked over to the bar. George stood still for a moment, crossing himself and then began to wring his hands. I shook my head, touching his shoulder. “Maybe we shouldn’t.” I said, “Anyway it doesn’t seem right. How many churches do you know that keep a fully stocked bar? […]

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History of Military Terms: 2

By The Baron Hi folks, you’ve stumbled onto Part 2 of my Military Glossary. If you haven’t read part 1, it is located HERE.

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Anger Advice

M. Anger answers your questions about anything and everything. In today’s column: Dead pets, angry mothers, drunks, and debt.

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The Magic Youth

The Magic Youth has a terrifying history. It was first translated in the early 16th century by Chinese philosopher Ling Ping. One day Ping was playing paper dragons in his back yard with his grandfather when he stubbed his toe on a stone slab which stuck out from the grass. He unearthed this slab, and […]

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Street Gangs: A Swell Solution To a Modern-Day Problem

Kids these days don’t have enough to do. They play hooky from school during the day and cause a ruckus as they drag race their hotrods down main street at night. What can be done to combat this teenage menace? Let me tell you: Make street gangs legal. What’s that you say? Gangs aren’t illegal? […]

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Worthless Guide to Drugs Part 2: Ups & Downs

By Henry Part 1 of this guide, I talked about a bunch of different drugs (Heroin, Marijuana, LSD, and Mushrooms) and gave you advice on whether or not you should take them. In this portion I’ll let you in on the secrets of a few more drugs, and also give you a coupon code you […]

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Words & Phrases I Do Not Particularly Care For (Part 3): Babes, Google It, Rig

The third article in a series of articles describing a bunch of crappy words that I wish people didn’t use. This section covers: Babes, Google It, and Rig. Contents: Part 3 – Babes / Google It Part 2 – Owned / Fag / 110% Part 1 – Pimp / Blogosphere Part 3 Babes “Hottest Babes […]

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Words & Phrases I Do Not Particularly Care For (Part 2): Owned, Fag, 110%

This is Part 2 in a series of articles about obnoxious words which I hate. This one is about: Owned, Fag, and 110%. That’s probably the only information you need, right? Contents: Part 3 – Babes / Google It / Rig Part 2 – Owned / Fag / 110% Part 1 – Pimp / Blogosphere […]

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Words & Phrases I Do Not Particularly Care For (Part 1): Pimp, Blogosphere

This is Part 1 in a series of articles about bad words. Terrible, awful, and very bad words which have become annoyingly prevalent for some reason or another and should never be used, because they hurt you and those around you. I will attempt to define and discuss these ridiculous words, their origins, and the […]

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Folk Weddin’ Wisdom

Here is a quick horrible little article I wrote off the top of my head in about 40 seconds. It’s about some old-timey sayings that mentally unstable people might use as guides for what to do about weddings. I also put my responses to them. It’s sort of like a rap battle, except that it […]

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How to Waste Thousands of Dollars for No Good Reason (A Guide to Weddings)

By M. Anger I have been married approximately 0 times in my short life, so I pretty much know all there is to know about weddings. I am a giving person by nature, so I felt it would only be right to share my vast knowledge of marriage with the common man (you). The idea […]

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Online Names: Reader Mail

Continued from Online Names From Rainbowfox: Why would you be so hateful towards those you dont understand. I think you should take a step back and try making a furry character once and you may find that you like it. Then maybe you and I can go to a party and scritch a littlemaybe even […]

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Socks & Sandals: Retribution

By Jones Satan. Beelzebub. Steve. The Dark One has many names and many faces, all of which are intended to deceive the common man. If ever it comes to pass that you find yourself locked into a life or death battle with this specter of evil, I can give you but one piece of advice: […]

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Worthless Guide To Funerals

Do you enjoy funerals? If not, then this is the guide for you! If so…I’m not sure what your deal is. That is pretty weird. I mean, I guess one could be enjoyable if it was the funeral of someone you really hated, but…well, I’m really getting ahead of myself here. Probably just go ahead […]

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Suicide & San Francisco

  By Jones When I heard you were planning to commit suicide by jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge, I got sort of annoyed. See, I read somewhere that so far 1,300 people have already killed themselves this way. Would it kill you to try something original for once in your life? I mean, so […]

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The Detective

Chapter 2,223 Detective Trevor Whipple sat at his desk eating a sandwich. Suddenly there came a knock on his office door. “Who is it?” asked the detective, wiping the blood from his mouth and setting the severed head down gently. “It’s Daniel,” said a voice outside the door. The Detective stood and pulled up his […]

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A Hobo’s Tale

Upon dropping out of college, I took to riding the rails. I wanted to see the country thought a hobo’s eyes. I would ride for days with only my knapsack and a warm bottle of whiskey at my side. It was summer and the weather was fine. I met many fine men on these journeys; […]