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More Cryptic & Beautiful Poetry From Spam Emails

As I said in my First Spam Poetry Article, spam emails just aren’t fooling anyone anymore. But that doesn’t stop them from trying. Well maybe trying isn’t the right word. Let’s just say that it isn’t stopping them from “continuing to send out easily ignored emails which are seemingly just a randomly generated series of […]

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The Casually Dismissive Guide to Cowboys

There hasn’t been much written about cowboys these days. You might assume that this is because cowboys are boring (and you would be right), but luckily for you, I’m not one to shy away from subjects which are “boring” or “stupid” or “a waste of everyone’s valuable time”. So after an exhaustive period of exhaustive […]

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Top 5 Movies of All Time!

By Martin “The Baron” Hubley As many of you may be aware, I am quite practitioner of watching amazing movies. I often get requests from my friends for recommendations of what movies I think are the “Best Ever”. “The Baron” they have been known to say to me, “There are so many movies out there! […]

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Sasquatch Faces Rejection After the Apocalypse

When Sasquatch awoke it was still dark. Rubbing the sleep from his eyes, he rolled over on the rocky ground and looked over at the boy. He was asleep, curled in the blue plastic tarp they had found in the deserted filling station. Sasquatch could see that his condition had worsened. His nearly translucent skin […]

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How to Help Disableds

By Martin “The Baron” Hubley Not to brag or anything, but around my hometown I’m known as a bit of a philantherer. For those who are unfamiliar with the term, a philantherer is someone who loves giving back to the community! So it wouldn’t be at all out of the ordinary to see me feeding […]

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The Cryptic & Beautiful Poetry Of Spam Emails

Let’s be honest here: A person usually has to be pretty dense to be fooled by a spam email these days. I mean seriously, they really aren’t even trying anymore. You can usually tell a spam email by its subject line, which is almost always something about discount pills, penis size, or some half-assed generic […]

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The Tears Of One Thousand Generations

Professor Huntington closed his eyes and whipped the tarp dramatically from the enormous machine. It spanned the entire room, ceiling to floor, and was covered entirely in long, flat, brushed steel panels, creating a kind of false wall.   “Ladies and Gentlemen,” he cried, spreading his arms wide, “I give you the baby crusher!”   […]

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7 Tips For Surviving Police Encounters

  By Martin “The Baron” Hubley America’s police force is said to be the greatest in the world. However, this does not mean it is perfect. Far from it, actually. The biggest problem we have here is nosy cops. I tell you, these smokeys (slang for police officer) just won’t let up! I can’t count […]

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It’s The 78th Annual Shameful Ricki Lake Show Title Awards!

Welcome to the second installment of the 78th Annual “I Give Awards to Shitty Daytime Talk Show” Awards. The wonderful program I have singled out for praise this time around is Ricki Lake. If you are unfamiliar with the show you can find everything you need to know about it here, but this really isn’t […]