Month: March 2009

Helping one another is what keeps communities strong. If you happen to see your elderly neighbor struggling to carry a bag of groceries up her stairs you, obviously you’re going to stop and help. There are a number of moral reasons for this, but since I can’t think of any specific ones right now you’ll […]

I don’t even know what number in the Animal Awards series this article will be. Is it the 6th? 8th? It’s a mystery. But there are many more species to give worst-of awards to; I can’t stop to check now, so let’s just say this is the 9th in an infinite part series. In this […]

I’d estimate that 60% of stores in most malls are almost completely worthless. Footlocker? Not even close to being needed. The Original Mattress Factory? Total crap. Bath & Body Works? Please! What a joke. All of these places could disappear overnight and it wouldn’t make a bit of difference in anyone’s lives. In fact, the […]

I have a rule that I don’t start an article with pointless, seminonsensical puns. For example, if I were writing about those games at arcades which give out tickets it might’ve been something like: “Sometimes making children feel like winners is ‘Just the Ticket’ for someone who wants to succeed in the arcade business!” or […]

I’m going to say something that I’m pretty sure has never been said before: Girlscout cookies are highly overrated. I’m not saying they’re bad, in fact I don’t mind eating them at all. As far as cookies go, I’d even rate most of them as slightly above average. But OH NO, that’s not NEARLY good […]

Dinosaurs count as animals, don’t they? I’m fairly sure they do. Well, it doesn’t really matter because I’m just about to call out the worst of them. Animals or not, some dinosaurs are about to be pissed off. I don’t even care either; I’m tough. I tell it like it is, and if some random […]

I recently picked up this catalog at my grandma’s house. I’m not exactly sure what the theme of it is supposed to be. The cover claims that the publishers are “The Home Cleaning Experts”, so I thought it might be selling cleaning supplies, but then I looked inside and I couldn’t really find any cleaning […]

How much do you know about guns? Probably a lot, right? I wouldn’t be surprised if that was your answer, even if it isn’t true. There’s no shame in it, but it’s important to know one’s limitations. Especially when it comes to guns. In many respects, using a gun is similar to having sex: You […]