VOONT

By Martin “The Baron” Hubley Believe it or not, I was actually subjected to a good deal of bullying in my grammar school days. I suppose the other kids were jealous of my superior brain-power, and they bullied me in an attempt to cut me down to their intellectual size. Of course it didn’t work. […]

What’s so great about apes anyway? In my opinion, not much. One a scale of one to ten, I would probably rate my interest in apes at about a four. I’ve seen apes around town, but I haven’t really paid any special attention to them. Which is to say: I don’t actively dislike apes, but […]

It’s strange to me that mail-order catalogs even exist anymore. Who exactly is still buying crap from these things? It can only be that there are far more reasonably well-off childless women in their early-to-late 40s who are somehow still unaware of the internet than I had originally thought. But even so…the overpriced junk they […]

Sometimes threatening phone calls aren’t overtly threatening. Sometimes you might even recieve a threatening phone call which actually seems earnest, as if the person bullying you if only trying to do the right thing, and doesn’t even realize how much they’re annoying you. Like, say…oohh…constant phone calls from a charity asking for donations. They’re a […]

By Tommy Perkins The man on this web place said I should make my own colum and then answer question from people about what to do. He says it is called advice column (asked how to spell it) and all I have to do is read the questions and answer them how I think. I asked […]

By Martin “The Baron” Hubley If I had to choose a single superhero movie series to bring with me to a desert island, I would most definitely (or as they say in the streets “most deaf”) choose the Spider-Man Thrillogy. These movies have everything a boy (or possibly a lesbian) could want. Action, love, mystery, […]

There are plenty of gloves which have become famous thoughout history. OJ Simpson’s gloves for example, are famous for being soaked with the blood of innocents, and also for not fitting their alleged owner’s hands properly. Hmm…actually that’s the only pair of famous gloves I can think of. Guess I should’ve thought this intro through […]

There comes a time in every young boy’s life when he’s got to go out and make his own way in the big wide world. At that time, he will be a man. Nobody can truly say what sort of a man he will be. The old saying goes something like “Show me a boy […]

Sure, making harassing phone calls can be fun (just ask anyone who’s worked in telemarketing), but what about receiving them? If you’re not sure, why don’t you take some time to find out? Do what I do: Rack up thousands of dollars in debt on multiple credit cards, and then just let it sit there. […]

I suppose owning your own home could be considered an integral part of The American Dream. Well, not of my own personal American Dream, but of the Vague & Nonspecific American Dream most people imagine. I honestly don’t think I can define it, but the one thing I’m sure of is that it doesn’t have […]

I really like kids. Well, I like the older ones that can do things, but I’m not too hot on babies. I mean, what good are they? They can’t talk, they can’t walk, and they can’t play the piano. They can’t perform any tricks at all. What, are you going to try to tell me […]

CONTINUED FROM PART I Pick-up Lines: Just Plain Lame These lines come from a large (and astoundingly poorly arranged) compilation of what appear to be user-submitted pickup lines. It also lists the number of attempts and successes people claim to have had with them. As you might’ve guessed from the title of this site, these […]