In the hopes of capturing the lucrative Chinese person market, I have written this article in Chinese. Any English speakers who wish to read about the wonderful tourist attractions North Carolina has to offer (of which there are many!) can either translate this article to English using the translation software of their choice or view […]
WHAT A BLAZES? NORTH CAROLINA! If you are from United States you think there is nothing but strange and sorrowful things in North Carolina. Well, I must tell you! Not true. It is where all the best happens. The province includes a number of activities. Such as the old China saying goes: Those who taught […]
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Review: Clash of the Titans 3D
By The Sentient Portrait of an Early 19th Century Gentleman Upon the morning’s first light, I vacated my diggings and pointed my velocipede towards the local theater, my intentions being to view the latest moving picture: Clash of the Titans. Upon my arrival I was put into a fine pucker upon discovering that a gape-mouthed […]
It’s been a long time since I wrote my original Guide To Funerals. It’s one of the first articles I ever wrote, and the childishness of my worldview at that time certainly shows. Fortunately, dear reader, a lot has changed since then. I’ve grown up. I’ve matured. I’ve gotten married, bought a beautiful four bedroom, […]
Believe it or not, sometimes people actually go to Idaho on purpose. Yeah, I know, it sort of blew my mind at first too, but it’s true. “And what,” you might ask, “do these people do once they’ve arrived in Idaho?” Hell if I know. According to the board of tourism’s website Idaho is an […]
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How To Build Your Own PC
By Martin “The Baron” Hubley If you’ve never built your own personal computer (or PC as they’re known in the biz) you’re missing out on a world of excitement, adventure, and sensualness unlike anything you have known. And ladies, if you haven’t dated a man who has built his own computer, you’re missing out (just […]
Computers don’t always work the way we want them to, so from time to time I like to spend a few moments answering a few of the many tech-support questions I receive from readers. Why they choose me, a complete stranger who runs a website entirely unrelated to computer support and has heretofore expressed […]
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The Doctor’s Office
“You can put your clothes back on now,” the doctor said, scribbling angrily in his notepad. “Finally,” I said, putting my arm into one of the sleeves. “Hey, what exactly are you writing anyway?” “It’s private,” the doctor mumbled without looking up, “Private medical notes.” I stood and pulled the shirt over my head. “Private…what’s […]
FDA-Approved medicine is for suckers. In case you hadn’t heard…all-natural remedies are the wave of the future! Why go all-natural? The reasons are so simple that even uneducated people who don’t believe in taking pills can understand them: Health and Happiness. Studies have shown that those who use herbal remedies are far healthier and far […]
When I was a kid I would often refer to North Dakota as “The Boring Dakota”. Now that I am older (and slightly wiser) I see how wrong I really was. North Dakota couldn’t possibly be the boring Dakota because both Dakotas are the boring Dakota. South Dakota is only given a pass because it […]
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Christian Game Review: Bayonetta
Hello fellow gaming lovers! Please allow me to introduce myself: I’m Lukas777. I’m a professional video game lover, and I’m in a relationship with a man and a dead baby. But wait! Before you throw me a surprise Pride Parade or file a report with the pedophile brigade: The gay man and the dead […]
By Acclaimed Film Director Paul Haggis Hello, I’m acclaimed film director Paul Haggis. I’ve written scripts for hit family shows such as Walker: Texas Ranger, The Facts of Life, and [Hey,] Whose the Boss [Is This?]. Most recently, I penned the script to the (triple) Oscar winning film Crash which starred actors like Don Cheadle, […]