I like to think of myself as a computer expert. Once, when I was helping my friend install a new CD-ROM drive I didn’t feel like waiting for it to reboot. I decided to install it while the computer was still running. I took out the old drive and slid the new one in. Then […]
By Bobby Age 12 This is a Q&A which is meant to answer all the questions a laymen might have about monkey butlers. I think it’s pretty self explanatory from here. And if you didn’t read the main Monkey Butler article: You Had Better Check It Out.
By Martin “The Baron” HubleyGreetings viewers, it’s your old pal The Baron here again with another great article! I apologize for not writing sooner, but my social life tends to get in the way. I’ve had to attend to the needs of my large and lovely girlfriend Tina lately, as she’s been down in the […]
Once again, here it is: I got a friend of mine to agree to participate in a private and almost certainly fictional study. Once and a while he would ingest an illegal substance, attempt to spend a normal day at work, and record what happened. Then he would send the results to me. Unfortunately, after […]
Yeah yeah, I heard it all before. I don’t think anybody wants to see another one of these articles. But I can’t help it, I get tons of mail from people who just want to vent about their frustrations with the world. What do you mean “you thought these articles were fake”? Frankly I’m offended. […]
I know a lot about surviving in the cold, alright? I live somewhere called the Midwestern United States, ever you heard of it? Yeah, that’s what I thought. Here’s how the seasons work here (and why I know so much about the cold): Winter (11 Months): It’s true. Spring (15 Days) Temperatures rise to […]
I feel I have a lot of good advice to give, but usually nobody wants to hear it. Oftentimes I find myself reading newspaper advice columns and angrily shouting out the answers to the questions people have asked. Usually the other patients get scared when I do this. Then the lady in the white dress […]
<Continued from Part 1 The first thing most people notice about anime shows are the ridiculous names they’ve been given. Talk about a turn-off. I mean, who in the world is going to go see something called Ah, My Goddess in the listings and flip over to check it out? A bored seven-year-old girl maybe, […]
So yeah, as I explained in the first article of this series, I got a friend of mine to agree to undertake a private and possibly fictional study. Every few days he would ingest a single illegal substance, head to work, and record what happened. Here the results of his experiment with Heroin which I […]
OK, so you take a bunch of monkeys and you train them to be butlers for people. It’s pretty simple. The monkeys can do anything you want them to. They can bring you food, serve you a delicious frothy mug of ale, and even clean the kitchen if you want them to. Yes, they could […]
More real stories from the highway patrol. (Note: This article may not (and most certainly does not) contain even a single reference to the highway patrol or anything like that (except for in this first part)). Thanks!
A certain time in recent American history: Tommy jukes down a dim elementary school hallway wearing in a green Starter Jacket, the sullen bass intro of Ice Ice Baby burbling from a boombox on his shoulder. He passes a boy in a faded Voltron T-Shirt. The boy mutters under his breath and probes compulsively at […]