Do pickup lines really work? This is a question I ask myself each morning as I rise for a day of toil in the fields. The only real way to gauge whether or not a pickup line “works” is to actually speak it, preferably to a human being of the opposite sex who is also […]
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The Baron’s Film Korner: Batman
By Martin “The Baron” HubleyHowdy folks, your old friend the Barron here again with episode 2 of The Baron’s Film Korner. I would like this to be a regular feature, but I’m not quite sure if the dumbat who runs this site will allow it. I feel it would help pull this site up by […]
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Worthless Guide to Life: Babies
There’s no denying it: Life can be tough. But never fear, I’m here to help with this guide. Since you’re reading a “Guide to Life” from the beginning, I’m going to assume you haven’t really lived yet. Are you a baby? If you are, I guess someone must be reading this to you. That’s pointless. […]
Welcome to a special OSTENSIBLY INTERACTIVE edition of Worthless Guides. After writing a number of informational guides about survival in various environments (which can be fond HERE), I decided to try a different way of helping those in need. So I set up a public chatroom calling it SurvivalChat, and advertised that anyone who had […]
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Advice Column: Computer Trouble
I like to think of myself as a computer expert. Once, when I was helping my friend install a new CD-ROM drive I didn’t feel like waiting for it to reboot. I decided to install it while the computer was still running. I took out the old drive and slid the new one in. Then […]
By Bobby Age 12 This is a Q&A which is meant to answer all the questions a laymen might have about monkey butlers. I think it’s pretty self explanatory from here. And if you didn’t read the main Monkey Butler article: You Had Better Check It Out.
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The Baron’s Film Korner: Hulks
By Martin “The Baron” HubleyGreetings viewers, it’s your old pal The Baron here again with another great article! I apologize for not writing sooner, but my social life tends to get in the way. I’ve had to attend to the needs of my large and lovely girlfriend Tina lately, as she’s been down in the […]
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Drug Diary 3: Mushrooms
Once again, here it is: I got a friend of mine to agree to participate in a private and almost certainly fictional study. Once and a while he would ingest an illegal substance, attempt to spend a normal day at work, and record what happened. Then he would send the results to me. Unfortunately, after […]
Yeah yeah, I heard it all before. I don’t think anybody wants to see another one of these articles. But I can’t help it, I get tons of mail from people who just want to vent about their frustrations with the world. What do you mean “you thought these articles were fake”? Frankly I’m offended. […]
I know a lot about surviving in the cold, alright? I live somewhere called the Midwestern United States, ever you heard of it? Yeah, that’s what I thought. Here’s how the seasons work here (and why I know so much about the cold): Winter (11 Months): It’s true. Spring (15 Days) Temperatures rise to […]
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Advice Column: Relationship Trouble
I feel I have a lot of good advice to give, but usually nobody wants to hear it. Oftentimes I find myself reading newspaper advice columns and angrily shouting out the answers to the questions people have asked. Usually the other patients get scared when I do this. Then the lady in the white dress […]
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Worthless Guide To Anime – Part 2
<Continued from Part 1 The first thing most people notice about anime shows are the ridiculous names they’ve been given. Talk about a turn-off. I mean, who in the world is going to go see something called Ah, My Goddess in the listings and flip over to check it out? A bored seven-year-old girl maybe, […]