CYOA Life of Crime

Command Him To Blow His Own Brains Out

Your eyes filled with hatred and metaphorical flame, you reach into the criminal’s mind and give him the command to blow his own head off. He stands for a moment, as if processing the order.

“Error. The First Law of Robotics states that no robot shall destroy itself, even if ordered by his master.” He says.

You sigh, and place your hand on his shoulder. “OK, well, you actually AREN’T a robot. Also the ‘First Law of Robotics’ doesn’t state anything of the kind because it doesn’t exist. You made it up. You’re a filthy no count liar and you can’t fool me. I am your master and you will do as I tell you. Now stop stalling and shoot yourself in the head like I inexplicably told you to.”

The bank robber raises the gun to his temple and squeezes the trigger. His head dutifully explodes, drawing gasps from the assembled onlookers.

“That’s better.” You say as you turn back towards the flashing lights. At this point you figure it would probably be appropriate for you to give some sort of performance.

Tell a touching story about an old man saving starfish on the beach

Perform mass mind control on the audience and cause pandemonium