The Alphabet Of Swearing

 The Alphabet Of Swearing - Fcuk
Recently I performed a search on the internet for "The Alphabet Of Swearing", as I wished (for whatever idiotic reason) to find a list of curse words beginning with each letter of the alphabet. Shockingly enough, aside from a couple of somewhat carelessly assembled "Yahoo Answers" replies and an article or two from blogs even shoddier than this one, I came up completely emptyhanded.
 
"How was this possible?" I said to myself, "Surely someone out must have taken the time to compile a true list of swear words for every letter of the alphabet." But alas, this was not the case. I quickly realized that if I wanted such a list to exist, I would have to create it for myself.

So I did, and here it is.
 
Note: I've refrained from resorting to racist, homosexual, or ethnic slurs wherever possible. Let me assure you that this was not done due to the "offensiveness" of these words. It's just that the list would've been far too easy (and therefore less fun) to compile were I to allow myself to employ hatespeech as well.
 


The Alphabet Of Swearing - Asshole
A Stupid, Incompetent, or Detestable Person

"What the hell is wrong with you?
You some kind of an asshole or something?"




The Alphabet Of Swearing - Bitch
A Malicious, Spiteful, or Overbearing Woman

"Seriously, that bitch been throwing rocks at my house all day!"



The Alphabet Of Swearing - Cunt
The Female Genital Organs (Or The Woman Attached To Them)

"Cunt is the new Fuck"



The Alphabet Of Swearing - Dick
Penis (Vulgar)

"That's the last time I put my dick in there. Look at this mess!"



The Alphabet Of Swearing - Effing
(UK) Slang For "Fucking"

"It's a load 'o codswallop, it is it is, I brought me 'effing trainers to the cobblers a donkey's year ago 'an I've 'erd nary a word from those sodding filchers!"




The Alphabet Of Swearing - Fuck
To Engage In Coitus With —Sometimes Used Interjectionally With An Object

"Well, Fuck, I suppose."



The Alphabet Of Swearing - Goddammit
 "Damnation" is the concept of condemnation by God resulting in a being's punishment.

"Goddammit, that asshole just outbid me on this Mama's Family Boxed set again!"



The Alphabet Of Swearing - Hard-On
An Erection Of The Penis

"Look closely at this trading card, and you'll see that C-3PO has a hard-on."



The Alphabet Of Swearing - Interjaculate
To Ejaculate Into One's Own Bladder

"Seriously dude, just clamp it off and you'll interjaculate. Swear to Christ. Best feeling in the world."



The Alphabet Of Swearing - Jackoff
To Masturbate; Also "An Asshole"

"Look at this jackoff, he's taking up four fucking parking spaces!"



The Alphabet Of Swearing - Knob
(UK) Slang, "Penis"

"I could eat a knob at night."



The Alphabet Of Swearing - Lobcock
(18th Century) To Fling or Launch Plague-Bearing Heaps of Male Genitalia Over The Battlements In Order To Excite or Dishearten An Entrenched Enemy

"Pile the slings of your trebuchets high and deep with festering members, and then, on my mark...prepare to lobcock!"




The Alphabet Of Swearing - Motherfucker
 One That Is Formidable, Contemptible, or Offensive

"If all of you motherfuckers could just go ahead and raise your hands into the air, I'd be much obliged."



The Alphabet Of Swearing - Nupson
A Simpleton, Idiot, or Fool

"Man, get yo nupson ass up outta here before I change my mind!"



The Alphabet Of Swearing - Onanist
Man Who Uses Coitus Interruptus As A Means of Birth Control; A Masturbator

"Amongst self-pleasurers, the boy is without peer. Why, just the other day the little onanist performed his act for the Devlin's and I. It was quite a treat."



The Alphabet Of Swearing - Prick
A Spiteful or Contemptible Man (Often Having Some Authority)

"Ya motherfucker! I almost had him, I almost had him. Ya stuttering prick ya."



The Alphabet Of Swearing - Quean
A Disreputable Woman; A Hussy or Prostitute

"Begone from this place, vile quean, before I cave thine head in!"



The Alphabet Of Swearing - Rimjob
External Stimulation Of The Sphincter To Cause Sexual Arousal

"I couldn't believe she was charging six dollars extra for rimjobs. I mean, I can see a dollar or two, but six? No thanks."



The Alphabet Of Swearing - Shit
Feces; The Act Of Defecation

"What the shit was that shit all about?"



The Alphabet Of Swearing - Twat
Reasonably Offensive Term For A Woman (Or Her Vagina)

"Stop her! That crazy twat just stole my Clark bar!"



The Alphabet Of Swearing - Uropygium
The Rump Of A Bird

"You sir, are nothing but an Uropygium, and I shall have nothing more to do with you, or your ilk."



The Alphabet Of Swearing - Vaffanculo
 Italian Slang Meaning "Go Fuck Yourself [In The Ass]"

"Whaddaya doin'! Oh, real tough guy, eh? Real big man! Vaffanculo!"



The Alphabet Of Swearing - Whore
Promiscuous Woman; Woman Who Engages In Sexual Acts For Money
 
"And so it was that the whore climbed up the escarpment, and raged until the coming of the dawn."



The Alphabet Of Swearing - Xanthippe
Ill-Tempered or Shrewish Woman

"Oh don't pay any attention to Tracy, she's our resident Xanthippe."



The Alphabet Of Swearing - Yarak
Turkish Slang For Penis

"500,000 Kurus for a black and white television is an outrageous price to ask. It would please me greatly to see you place a yarak between your lips and blow upon it. I spit upon your threshold, and may your children be afflicted with the canine madness."



The Alphabet Of Swearing - Zatch
1950s Slang For Female Genitalia

"In all my years I've yet to see; A zatch as sweet as sweet Marie's.
It smelled of honey, not of fleas; And down it I once lost my keys.
It parted once, and thenceforth flee'd; A fuzzy, buzzing, swarm of bees.
In all my years I've yet to see; A zatch as sweet as sweet Marie's."




 
Sources
Words: The Phrontistery
Definitions: Merriam-Webster
Font: LivingHell
Photo: Flickr