Having already created a photo gallery covering mustaches
for no good reason, I decided to whip up a similarly pointless and
substantially more offputting companion piece cataloging the existence
of various beards.
So that's what this is.
The old "don't judge a book by its cover" adage has never made much
sense to me. You can tell a lot about a
book like this one by looking at the cover. I mean, any idiot
could see that it's a field guide
for picking wild mushrooms which was written by an impishly deranged
trombone enthusiast named David who enjoys feigning the thievery of
large quantities of fungi while wearing a cheap 80s tuxedo.
The more observant among you may have noticed that there has been a
fairly extreme smear campaign launched against bottled water by Big
Government and the leftist newsmedia of late. This comes as no
surprise, as the ability to purchase and casually discard
nonbiodegradable plastic receptacles is one of the few personal
freedoms which remain available to us in this increasingly socialistic
world of ours.
Which is precisely why it is imperative that people realize that claims
such as "bottled water creates unnecessary waste", "bottled water is
less safe than tap water", or "most bottled water is just tap water
that costs 600% more" are nothing more than lies perpetuated by
politically correct, freedom-hating rabblerousers.
So with that in mind, please have a look at five of the many reasons
why it is your civic duty to consume bottled water over tap water.
"Fear knocked at the door.
And lo, no one was there."
- Author Unknown
There's something about crossing the border from Minnesota into
Wisconsin which has always unsettled me. The feeling would probably
best characterized as crushing despair tinged with an oppressive
pastoral loneliness. It isn't necessarily that the scenery itself is
different, it's more of a vague feeling...as if the sadness
of its residents has somehow seeped into the soil and air, poisoning
it, like fallout from a nuclear blast. Or perhaps more appropriately,
like the solvent vapors from innumerable batches of high-grade
So it should be obvious that I'm not particularly keen on the idea of
visiting Wisconsin for fun and diversion, which makes me just the
person to write an overtly antagonistic and highly inaccurate guide of
it for nonexistent tourists.
It is a particularly fine summer evening. You are taking a shortcut
through a field of wheat, on the way to your job at the bank. Suddenly
you feel a tremendous pressure in your eardrums and a white light
envelops you. You are lifted, struggling, into the belly of a
An alien approaches and informs you that you are to be the subject of
an experiment on human nature. The alien says you are to receive a
number of randomly assigned superpowers, and that you are free to use
these powers as you see fit.
The alien squeals with delight and flips a switch. A bell rings and the
floor opens up, sending you tumbling out of the ship.
What do you do?
internet fans, it's your old pal Martin "The Baron" Hubley with another
top ten list to shake the foundations of your musical knowledge to
their very cores! Those of you who know me best will agree that I have
one passion and one passion only: Rock & Roll. My naughtiest
fantasy is to climb into a hotrod, crank up my fave rock radio station
to full, and cruise down the coast, honking at thick & juicy honeys
while bobbing my head to the sound of wailing guitars and nonstop drums.
Some say rock ain't what it used to be, but I tend to disagree. There
are plenty of high quality rock albums out there, you just have to know
where to look (namely: right here in this very article).
Fair Warning: There are going to be some pretty
controversial choices in here, as I don't often follow the crowd. But
keep reading if you've got the guts, and you'll be rewarded with hours
of rock and roll hijinks. That's a promise!
I'm really sick from a virus or methadone withdrawl right now
and I can't post
So here's a photograph I once found of a 1970s postman.
You had better watch your step.