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Worthless Guide to Survival – Part 3: Mountains

mountsins By Henry Have you ever seen a mountain before? The answer is simple: Yes you have. It is a piece of land that got shot up out of the ground and snow fell on top of it. But the real question is, “How do I survive in the mountains?” This is what I hope […]

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Terrible Old Video Card Box Roundup

By M. Anger If you’ve ever purchased a video card there’s a good chance you’ve noticed something about the boxes they come in: They are really, really stupid. Sure, there are a few vendors who go out of their way to try to use a nice-looking (or at least somewhat respectable) image for the front […]

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Ghost In The Shell 2

By Kevin This is, of course, a synopsis of the film Ghost in the Shell: Innocence (in case you forgot how to read the title of an article). I think it is the second in some kind of series or something. I really don’t care. I didn’t bother to subject myself to the first movie, […]

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The Baron’s Prison Survival Guide

By Martin “The Baron” Hubley The idea of going to prison is a scary one indeed. If you’re like me you’ve spent a lot of time thinking about how well you would handle yourself “inside”. You probably think you’re pretty hot stuff when it comes to prison self-defense, but what do you really know? Not […]

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Worthless Guide to Women: Part 3

By Henry So now you’ve gone and moved in with a woman! Whether it’s a wife, a partner, a friend, or maybe just a roommate you’re definitely in for an interesting ride, so let’s get moving.

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Worthless Guide to Women: Part 2

Hello friends! Welcome to part 2 of my Q&A special on women. In this section I will cover some dating and etiquette questions. This section is for straight men, lesbians, and bisexuals only; nobody else is allowed to read it. 

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Become a Real Private Investigator For Free (Online Class)

If you watch daytime television, you’ve almost certainly seen some of the many advertisements for various technical colleges. Many of these schools claim to be able to educate you in the field of “private investigation”. This is false. Technical colleges have never been accredited in the field of private investigation. Such programs are scams and […]

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Worthless Guide to Ghosts

If you’ve ever visited a haunted house, you probably think you have a good idea of what ghosts are and what they’re capable of. If this is the case, you’re in for a rude awakening, because brother: Real-life ghostings have as much in common with carnival ghost houses as a composition book full of beastiality […]

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How To Choose a Good Online Name

By M. Anger In the world of online games, nobody knows who you are, so you’re free to create whatever sort of online persona you can possibly imagine. It’s like you’re getting personality test results about each person you meet online. But as usual, when the general public is given complete freedom to do whatever […]

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An Interview With George Lucas

I had been standing under the buzzing streetlamp in the red light district for only a few minutes when I heard the scrape of approaching footsteps. I turned around to find myself staring into the battered face of George Lucas. “Hhhhhhhelllo pal…” he spat, showering my face with flecks of blood and spit. I stumbled […]

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Worthless Guide to Women: Part 1

  By Henry If you are aware of the existence of women, it is likely that you have a lot of questions about how to interact with them. This is completely understandable. Women are strange and wonderful creatures, and their existence has puzzled men ever since the first female dragged herself from the primordial swamps […]

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World Of Warcraft: An Irrelevant Review

I had been watching a program on television about a game called World Of Warcraft. “That certainly is interesting.” I might have been heard to remark after the show had ended, “I do enjoy programs which describe various items of interest; perhaps I should learn more about this particular item.” Unfortunately, I was immediately distracted by […]

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Worthless Guide to Comedy – Part 2: Movies

By The Baron Howdy folks, have yourselves a sit down and prepare to enjoy Part 2 of The Baron’s Guide to Comedy. In Part 1 I covered the best and worst of TV comedy, and in this portion I am going to reveal the winners and losers of comedy in film. If you were impressed […]

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Worthless Guide to Comedy – Part 1: Top 10 TV

By The Baron Welcome one and all to part 1 of The Baron’s top 10 of comedy. In this new series of articles I will be revealing the top 10 of comedy in three categories: Television, Movies, and the Internet. Well, technically it will be the 5 BEST in each category, and then the 5 […]

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A Date With George Lucas

It was just around 8 that I saw the headlights. I ran out the front door and down the steps, taking them two at a time. Pulling open the door, I settled into the passenger seat. “Oh George!” I said, “I’d know those headlights anywhere!” “Mmmph.” George said. He sat hunched in the driver’s seat. […]

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Worthless Guide to Robot Armies

As far as I can tell, everyone in the world loves robots. There’s nothing a robot cannot do. Have you ever wondered why we still have humans fighting in our wars? I mean, what do humans have that’s so great anyway? Free will? Overrated. Better if you don’t have it. The ability to love? Yeah […]

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Psychics Are Real! Why Doesn’t Anyone Believe Me…

The 5 senses: Touch, taste, fear, smell, and eyes. One would think that these were enough, but surprisingly, there are those who claim that there is also a sixth sense,  psychic ability. I am here to tell you today that not only does the sixth, but I possess it. I can read your thoughts. Observe: […]

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Junk Food Mascots: A Dissertation

I guess some corporations think it’s good business to use “food mascots” to sell their products to children. Is this type of marketing really effective? I’m not sure, but what I do know is that I find most food mascots to be distressing. For example: Why exactly did a room full of advertising executives decide […]

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Wedding Tips For Grooms

By Kevin Weddings. Who needs them? Nobody does, but I think people like to have them. I figured I would do the world a favor and look up some rules and regulations for the game of marriage. I found an article on the internet called 20 Top Tips for Grooms Who Want To Get it […]

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Worthless Guide to Survival – Part 2: Jungles

By Henry The Jungles of the world may seem like a lively and fun place to visit, but they can seem cold and uninviting when you are lost inside one. This is part 2 of my survival series, and here I will give you the inside scoop on how you can survive being lost in […]