By Martin “The Baron” Hubley“Holla, me gusto La Baron, pero yo quiero los videojuegos!” For those of you who don’t speak Spanish, what I just said was “Hello, my name is The Baron and I love movies!” It’s a fun little exersize in ethnic languages, and it doesn’t hurt that it’s true too. Me and […]
Now you’ve done it. You’ve caused us to be stranded at sea in a lifeboat. I’m not sure how you let this happen, but I guess there isn’t anything to be done about it now. I suppose we just try to stay alive until we’re rescued. Hmm … sooo what’s been happening with you guys […]
Children are wonderful gifts. We should all be so lucky as to have a one sometime. But those of us who hate children or are asexual will never experience childjoy unless we somehow manage to accidentally knock somebody up or reproduce spontaneously, which is a little sad. So on a barely-related note, today’s Sainted/Tainted features […]
From time to time I like to use this website to help people out. What can I say, I’m a charitable person. Some people even call me “The Giver”, believe it or not. One of the services I provide is this advice column. Unfortunately, hardly anyone reads this website, so I don’t get many emails. […]
Do pickup lines really work? This is a question I ask myself each morning as I rise for a day of toil in the fields. The only real way to gauge whether or not a pickup line “works” is to actually speak it, preferably to a human being of the opposite sex who is also […]
By Martin “The Baron” HubleyHowdy folks, your old friend the Barron here again with episode 2 of The Baron’s Film Korner. I would like this to be a regular feature, but I’m not quite sure if the dumbat who runs this site will allow it. I feel it would help pull this site up by […]
There’s no denying it: Life can be tough. But never fear, I’m here to help with this guide. Since you’re reading a “Guide to Life” from the beginning, I’m going to assume you haven’t really lived yet. Are you a baby? If you are, I guess someone must be reading this to you. That’s pointless. […]
Welcome to a special OSTENSIBLY INTERACTIVE edition of Worthless Guides. After writing a number of informational guides about survival in various environments (which can be fond HERE), I decided to try a different way of helping those in need. So I set up a public chatroom calling it SurvivalChat, and advertised that anyone who had […]
I like to think of myself as a computer expert. Once, when I was helping my friend install a new CD-ROM drive I didn’t feel like waiting for it to reboot. I decided to install it while the computer was still running. I took out the old drive and slid the new one in. Then […]
By Bobby Age 12 This is a Q&A which is meant to answer all the questions a laymen might have about monkey butlers. I think it’s pretty self explanatory from here. And if you didn’t read the main Monkey Butler article: You Had Better Check It Out.
By Martin “The Baron” HubleyGreetings viewers, it’s your old pal The Baron here again with another great article! I apologize for not writing sooner, but my social life tends to get in the way. I’ve had to attend to the needs of my large and lovely girlfriend Tina lately, as she’s been down in the […]
Once again, here it is: I got a friend of mine to agree to participate in a private and almost certainly fictional study. Once and a while he would ingest an illegal substance, attempt to spend a normal day at work, and record what happened. Then he would send the results to me. Unfortunately, after […]