By Henry So now you’ve gone and moved in with a woman! Whether it’s a wife, a partner, a friend, or maybe just a roommate you’re definitely in for an interesting ride, so let’s get moving.
Categories
Month: December 2007
Categories
Worthless Guide to Women: Part 2
Hello friends! Welcome to part 2 of my Q&A special on women. In this section I will cover some dating and etiquette questions. This section is for straight men, lesbians, and bisexuals only; nobody else is allowed to read it.
If you watch daytime television, you’ve almost certainly seen some of the many advertisements for various technical colleges. Many of these schools claim to be able to educate you in the field of “private investigation”. This is false. Technical colleges have never been accredited in the field of private investigation. Such programs are scams and […]
Categories
Worthless Guide to Ghosts
If you’ve ever visited a haunted house, you probably think you have a good idea of what ghosts are and what they’re capable of. If this is the case, you’re in for a rude awakening, because brother: Real-life ghostings have as much in common with carnival ghost houses as a composition book full of beastiality […]
Categories
An Interview With George Lucas
I had been standing under the buzzing streetlamp in the red light district for only a few minutes when I heard the scrape of approaching footsteps. I turned around to find myself staring into the battered face of George Lucas. “Hhhhhhhelllo pal…” he spat, showering my face with flecks of blood and spit. I stumbled […]
Categories
Worthless Guide to Women: Part 1
By Henry If you are aware of the existence of women, it is likely that you have a lot of questions about how to interact with them. This is completely understandable. Women are strange and wonderful creatures, and their existence has puzzled men ever since the first female dragged herself from the primordial swamps […]
By The Baron Howdy folks, have yourselves a sit down and prepare to enjoy Part 2 of The Baron’s Guide to Comedy. In Part 1 I covered the best and worst of TV comedy, and in this portion I am going to reveal the winners and losers of comedy in film. If you were impressed […]
By The Baron Welcome one and all to part 1 of The Baron’s top 10 of comedy. In this new series of articles I will be revealing the top 10 of comedy in three categories: Television, Movies, and the Internet. Well, technically it will be the 5 BEST in each category, and then the 5 […]
Categories
A Date With George Lucas
It was just around 8 that I saw the headlights. I ran out the front door and down the steps, taking them two at a time. Pulling open the door, I settled into the passenger seat. “Oh George!” I said, “I’d know those headlights anywhere!” “Mmmph.” George said. He sat hunched in the driver’s seat. […]
Categories
Worthless Guide to Robot Armies
As far as I can tell, everyone in the world loves robots. There’s nothing a robot cannot do. Have you ever wondered why we still have humans fighting in our wars? I mean, what do humans have that’s so great anyway? Free will? Overrated. Better if you don’t have it. The ability to love? Yeah […]
The 5 senses: Touch, taste, fear, smell, and eyes. One would think that these were enough, but surprisingly, there are those who claim that there is also a sixth sense, psychic ability. I am here to tell you today that not only does the sixth, but I possess it. I can read your thoughts. Observe: […]
Categories
Junk Food Mascots: A Dissertation
I guess some corporations think it’s good business to use “food mascots” to sell their products to children. Is this type of marketing really effective? I’m not sure, but what I do know is that I find most food mascots to be distressing. For example: Why exactly did a room full of advertising executives decide […]