Amazon Oddity: How To Date A White Woman: A Practical Guide For Asian Men

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Like the other books in the Offensively Specific Dating Outside Your
Race series (Japanese Women: They'll Do What You Say, Indian Men: Smart
But I Guess They Have Tiny Penises, Black Chicks: I Wish They Would
Stop Shouting At Me) How
To Date a White Woman
is advertised as "your one-stop shop" for
information on dating a particular ethnic subset of humanity (in this
case, White Women), but I found it sorely lacking in useful information.
 
Although I am white, I figured I'd be able to derive at least one or
two good tips on dating white women from this book, but this is
certainly not the case. Not only is this book Asian-Man-Centric, but it
also lacks depth. I found most of their advice to be blatantly obvious
(if not outright false): "White women don't like spiders", "White women
sometimes have difficulty opening jars", "White women who aren't
prostitutes get offended when you try to pay them for sex", the list
goes on and on.
 
As someone who recently dated a white woman, I can easily come up with
better tips than the ones in this book off the top of my head. So just
keep reading if you want to be let in on all the white women's secrets.

20 Grotesquely Flamboyant Cosplayers

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As someone with a well-defined/over-defined sense of shame, I am
fascinated by the sorts of people who allow themselves to be
photographed wearing awful costumes. Is this sort of behavior due to an
extreme case of Aspergers, or is it simply how someone with a healthy
sense of self-confidence behaves?
 
Having never experienced either of these disabilities (Aspergers or
self-confidence) myself, I can really only theorize as to whether or
not they are the ROOT CAUSE of cosplay, or if they merely lay the
foundation for it. I suspect it's a little bit of both, but I suppose
I'll never really know for sure, as I tend not to associate with adults
who dress up as shitty cartoon characters.
 
But in any case, why don't you go ahead and have a look at these photos
of people in stupid costumes. They really are fantastic.

The Comprehensive Guide To Littering

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Sometimes littering can be a grey area. For example: Was Johnny
Appleseed littering as he wandered around tossing handfuls of apple
seeds everywhere? The general consensus is that he was not, but I
disagree. He most certainly WAS littering. History seems to give Mr.
Appleseed a pass because he seems to have strewn the seeds about with
the best intentions, but as you well know, some of the most heinous
crimes in history have been committed by people with "the best
intentions" in mind.
 
That's why I've created this guide: To dispel the myths which surround
the act of littering once and for all. We'll cover a myriad of topics
including (but not limited to)..."Littering With Fruits &
Vegetables: Is It Possible?", "Littering In Public Spaces", "Bodily
Fluids As Litter", "Littering In Geysers & Hot Springs: What Gives?"
 
So join me, if you will, on this journey through the exciting world of
litter.

20 Ambitiously Awful Halloween Costumes

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Ah October: Cauldron's are bubbling, children are reveling in
pumpkin viscera, and small painted box turtles are doing...uh...well,
whatever is that turtles do in cold weather. What am I a Herpetologist,
how the hell should I know? My point is that it is currently October
and VARIOUS THINGS ARE HAPPENING.
But what is most important to me (and possibly you), is the
thousandfold increase in sales of stupid costumes which occurs around
this time of year. So as usual, I've dredged the internet and come up
with 20 of the most ambitiously trashy costumes currently available.

The Cynical Tourist's Guide To...Wyoming

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While researching this guide, I tried my hardest to find a comprehensive
list of "interesting" tourist attractions in
Wyoming. It should come as no surprise that I was spectacularly
unsuccessful. In fact, even when I lowered my criteria from
"interesting tourist attractions" to "stupid tourist attractions which
seem worthy of insincere derision" I still came up mostly emptyhanded.
 
This should tell you pretty much everything one needs to know about
taking a trip to Wyoming (namely: that one should not do it), but I
suppose if you're a glutton for punishment you can go ahead and read
on. At the very least, I feel I've managed to compile a relatively decent overview of the
least uninteresting tourist destinations located in Wyoming. So that's something, I guess.

Amazon Oddity

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As an officially licenced and bonded FST (Fence, Scaffold, and Tenting)
contractor, I can tell you that without a doubt, a man's success in the
FST industry is almost wholly dependant on his understanding of wood
poles, piles, and posts more than 15 feet in length owned and treated
with pentachlorophenol by the same establishment. That's why I
recommend This
Book
.
 
This alone would be enough to warrant the 800 dollar purchase, but the
included segmentation of the entire wood poles, piles, and
posts market by city (a feature which is not often included in similar
Laughably Specific Global Strategic Planning Digests) makes this book a
great buy for even the most casual of Pentachlorophenol-Treated
Building Material enthusiasts.

But to be honest, there are quite a few issues with this book that I
feel keep it from achieving "Must-Buy" status. Let's have a look at
some of the more glaring problems, shall we?

 

How To Fight Terrorism

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Consider this: One out of every four people will be a victim of
terrorism their lifetime. And though this statistic may have just been
made up by me, one cannot deny that it is extremely troubling.
 
But never fear: Because I, and I alone, have discovered the secret to
eradicating terrorism. I am fully prepared to give this information
away free of charge, as a service to my country, and in the hopes that
it will rid our world of Terror once and for all.

20 Strange & Ridiculous Phobias

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It could be said that fear is one of our most useful and sensible
emotions. Not only does it prime our bodies to better react to danger,
but it also stops [most of] us from undertaking foolish,
life-endangering endeavors such as firing antique crossbows at the
police, riding a motorcycle, or crushing our own head in a vice
"because we wanted to see what it felt like".

Yes, when it comes to "staying alive for as long as possible", fear can
be a useful and practical tool. But as with other tools (right angle
reversible drills for instance), fear can also pollute our minds,
twisting what was once a useful and important bodily function into a
crippling (and often hilarious) ailment.

Here is a list of twenty of the most ridiculous and illogical phobias
on earth.