20 Peculiar Images For Which I Have No Explanation

Random Photos - Old Woman Smoking Monkey
I find a lot of weird and insane photos from various places online that I find myself unable (for whatever reason) to fit into an article. These are normally just stored away on my harddrive until being deleted, but I can't help but feel that this is a terrible waste.

So rather than run the risk of allowing these pictures (pointless and irrelevant as they may be) to be forever lost in the ether of cyberspace, I have decided to post them here, where they could hypothetically be viewed by all who wish to enjoy them.

What can I say, I"m big into philanthropy.

Web Detritus (Week of 02.27.11)

HandfaceEach week I compile my favorite links, videos, infographics, photo galleries, and whatever else I happened to stumble upon. In case you hadn't figured it out by now, that's what this is.

This week: The Most Dangerous Jobs In America, What Prison Is Actually Like, Beautiful Polish Art, Another Reason To Dislike Best Buy, A Bunch Of Vintage Cereal, and How Much Money You Can Really Make From A Blog.

Top 10 Reasons Why Top 10 Lists Are So Popular

Top 10 Reasons Why Top 10 Lists Are So Popular
Depending on who you ask, the growing popularity of "Top 10" articles on the internet is either A. The surest proof that humankind is becoming steadily dumber and a troubling harbinger of the coming Idiocracy, or B. Pretty neat because they are fun and looking at numbered things is easier than reading words in a dumb old book anyhow.
 
Which of these theories is correct? I'm afraid I don't really know. But as a respected Orthopedic Surgeon and Semiretired Professor of Internet Sociology I do feel that I am uniquely equipped to explain to you the reasons for the proliferation of Top 10 Lists. And although I could easily summarize these reasons in one or two sentences, I feel it is my obligation as an Internet Content Creator to needlessly dilute them by stretching them out into a Top 10 List instead.
 
So here are (in no particular order) the Top 10 Reasons Why Top 10 Lists Are So Popular.

Web Detritus (Week of 02.20.11)

GirlMy weekly collection of useful links, fascinating articles, crazy photos, and mildly entertaining videos.
 
Here's what I have this week: Why White People Are Still Afraid To Date Black People, 10 Publicity Stunts That Went Bad, What Happened To The Children Of Nazis, The Most Stressful Jobs In America, A Crazy Timelapse Transgender Transformation, An Overly Stalky Facebook Breakup Notifier, and A Requiem For The Lost Art Of Pickpocketing.

9 Impractical & Potentially Offensive Ways To Avoid Shaking Hands

9 Devious Ways To Avoid Shaking Hands
Of all the pointless and antiquated traditions humans infuriatingly continue to adhere to, shaking hands is probably the one I resent me the most. I'm not quite sure why I hate the idea of handshakes so much, and since it'd take more than a few sessions with a psychiatrist to figure it out, I'll probably never know for sure. But if I had to guess, it'd say it's probably a combination of two things:
 
  1. Handshakes serve no practical purpose and I see them as phony and insincere.
  2. I'm a contrarian sociopath who derives pleasure from flouting social codes I disapprove of.
 
In all honestly, it's probably 99% due to the latter, but in the end, I guess it doesn't really matter why I hate handshakes. I just do. What's really important is that I've come up with this list of ways to get out of shaking hands. Granted, this guide won't be of much use to actual well-rounded adults, but certain groups people (Germaphobes, Insufferable Iconoclasts, Angry Goth Teens, etc) will likely find it very useful.
 
So with that in mind, here are 9 sneaky and underhanded ways to get out of shaking someone's hand.

Web Detritus (Week of 02.13.11)

Fighting CatsMy weekly collection of links, infographics, videos, articles and plenty of other cool stuff.

This time: Gay Animals, Vomit-Inducing 3D Gifs, Ridiculous Failed Foods, The Past vs The Future, Why I Love Larry David, Smoking Pot For Your Health, Startling New Info On The Band LFO, and The Most Depressing Game In The Universe

20 Absurd Costumes To Fill Your Cold Heart With Joy

20 Random Costumes You Can Buy
A good online writer will use an introductory paragraph like this one to give readers a brief overview of what the attached article is about in an entertaining fashion. This encourages "click throughs" to the main text, and ensures that the article gets as many pageviews (and therefore generates as much advertising revenue) as possible.
 
It should be obvious that the text you are reading right now is an example of an extremely poor introductory paragraph. It is overlong, plainly written (yet not elegantly so), contains little to no useful information, and fails to make even the slightest attempt at capturing the interest of someone who may have stumbled across it accidentally. I suppose I could try to counteract some of this by begging you to continue reading ("Please, please, please, just scroll through and take a look! I've spent oh so much time and effort on this highly entertaining piece, it'd be a shame if you passed it up!"), but this is impossible, as it is not in my nature to lie.
 
If I wanted to I could backtrack, here, at the very last second, by cramming in some kind of half-assed segue linking this intro to the content below, but I think I'd derive far more satisfaction out of abruptly ending this sentence after implying that I was about to do so, so let's find out.*

Web Detritus (Week of 02.07.11)

Demon SagatA compilation of neat links, top-quality articles, infographics, weird videos, and other useful slash cool stuff.
 
This week: Why Weddings Blow, The Perils Of Anonymity, LSD Artwork, Bizarre Illnesses, How To Cheer On Suicide Cases, The Wrath Of 4Chan, A Great Place To Sell Used Books, and Why People With Severe Brain Damage Should Not Write Customer Reviews.

7 Reasons Why Getting Old Is Awesome

7 Reasons Why Getting Old Is Awesome - Grandma Bong Booze
It seems like all you ever hear about is how awful it is to get old. Back pain, high blood pressure, grey hair, rest homes, the inability to see or hear anything, heart attacks, and death (yawn) and just a few of the "negatives" which make aging seem less than desirable.
 
But here's what the pessimists don't tell you: There are also many positive aspects to aging, many of which are cool enough to outweigh the shitty stuff. Then again, I may be somewhat biased when it comes to the elderly, as at the age of 27, I already posses many "old people" traits.

My hair is already going grey, I complain constantly, take far too many pills, spend almost my entire day napping, find loud music obnoxious, and in public places I go out of my way to avoid groups of teenagers because who knows they might be Kubrickian hooligans who'd jump me "just for kicks". So maybe I'm an old person in spirit already. Who knows.
 
Either way, I think you'll find that I still have some valid reasons why it'll be awesome to get old. Take a look.