Worthless Guide to Drugs Part 3: Higher Still

Drugs 3

By Henry

Fact: Not all drugs are illegal. Every year Americans spend more than
38 dollars on safe and effective over-the-counter drugs such as
aspirin, cough syrup, energy drinks, and cigarettes. These four legal
drugs alone provide us humans with relief from some important symptoms
(Headaches, coughs, low energy, and not hacking up blood due to
cancerous lung polyps). This article covers the effects and histories
of legal drugs like caffeine, tobacco, and cocaine (Note: Obviously
cocaine isn’t actually legal, but that ruins the intro so just play
along). Oh, and if you haven’t read Part 1 and Part 2 of this series, I think you should do that now because otherwise you won’t understand what’s going on with the plot.

Worthless Guide to Monsters Part 1: Werewolves


By Henry
Fear. Fear is the one and only thing which separates humans from beasts
and inanimate objects.
But what does man fear most? You guessed it: Monsters.
In this series of articles we’ll travel through the human brain and
learn the history of the most popular monsters in the world, hear
evidence of their existence, and learn how to defeat them in combat.

Worthless Guide to Antisocialism


By M. Anger

You don't like to be bothered, but someone just won't leave you alone. What can you do in this situation? Sure, you could
drug them, drag them back to their apartment, pack a suitcase full of
clothes, and then throw the suitcase into the river after burying them
in a shallow grave in the forest, leaving a one-way European plane
ticket stub on their kitchen counter for police investigators to find, and
why not? Well I’ll tell you: There’s
an easier way of being left alone, it's called being antisocial, and it
doesn’t involve your uncle Lewis clawing fruitlessly at the lid of his
makeshift coffin in the Pine Barrens just because he wouldn’t stop
yammering on about his daughter.  Read on to learn more about the
methods I have devised for reducing social contact to a bare minimum.

Halo 3 Review


By Tommy
I wrote a email to this website about how much I like halo 3. The nice
man who run this website asked if I could write a thing for this
website about what I thought of it because I had an interesting
per-spec-tive (had to look that up) about it. He says he will put it up
and put pictures for it too. I said that sounds like a fun plan
but I don’t write so good. He said it’s alright tommy just do your

Top 10 Most Ridiculous Cars

Rich Jerk

By M. Anger
Cars. Everybody has them (except really poor people, children, and many
people in cities) and everybody loves them (except me). But there are
some cars which I hate more than others: The Hummer H2, Dodge Magnum,
Chrysler 300, and Mercedes SLR McLaren. These are cars which bring
great shame upon themselves and the people who purchase them. Read on
for the top 10 most ridiculous cars of all time.

Editor's note: This article does not include 10 cars, only 4. Also,
these cars are most certainly not the most ridiculous cars of all time.
They are maybe some of the most ridiculous cars of 2004-2007. We apologize for
any confusion this may have caused.

George Lucas & The Wedding


We went into the church and walked over to the bar. George stood still
for a moment, crossing himself and then began to wring his hands. I
shook my head, touching his shoulder.

“Maybe we shouldn’t.” I said, "Anyway it doesn't seem right. How many
churches do you know that keep a fully stocked bar? How many, I ask

Worthless Guide to Drugs Part 2: Ups & Downs


By Henry

Part 1
of this guide, I talked about a bunch of different drugs
(Heroin, Marijuana, LSD, and Mushrooms) and gave you advice on whether
or not you should take them. In this portion I’ll let you in on the
secrets of a few more drugs, and also give you a coupon code you can
redeem with your dealer for a free drug (participation may vary). Also,
for the first time ever, we’ll ask small children on the street for
their opinions on these hard drugs. The answers they give may shock you.