Worthless Guide to Drugs Part 3: Higher Still

Drugs 3 By Henry
Fact: Not all drugs are illegal. Every year Americans spend more than 38 dollars on safe and effective over-the-counter drugs such as aspirin, cough syrup, energy drinks, and cigarettes. These four legal drugs alone provide us humans with relief from some important symptoms (Headaches, coughs, low energy, and not hacking up blood due to cancerous lung polyps). This article covers the effects and histories of legal drugs like caffeine, tobacco, and cocaine (Note: Obviously cocaine isn’t actually legal, but that ruins the intro so just play along). Oh, and if you haven’t read Part 1 and Part 2 of this series, I think you should do that now because otherwise you won’t understand what’s going on with the plot.

Worthless Guide to Monsters Part 1: Werewolves

Werewolf By Henry
Fear. Fear is the one and only thing which separates humans from beasts and inanimate objects. But what does man fear most? You guessed it: Monsters. In this series of articles we’ll travel through the human brain and learn the history of the most popular monsters in the world, hear evidence of their existence, and learn how to defeat them in combat.

Worthless Guide to Antisocialism

Anti
By M. Anger
You don't like to be bothered, but someone just won't leave you alone. What can you do in this situation? Sure, you could drug them, drag them back to their apartment, pack a suitcase full of clothes, and then throw the suitcase into the river after burying them in a shallow grave in the forest, leaving a one-way European plane ticket stub on their kitchen counter for police investigators to find, and why not? Well I’ll tell you: There’s an easier way of being left alone, it's called being antisocial, and it doesn’t involve your uncle Lewis clawing fruitlessly at the lid of his makeshift coffin in the Pine Barrens just because he wouldn’t stop yammering on about his daughter.  Read on to learn more about the methods I have devised for reducing social contact to a bare minimum.

Halo 3 Review

Halo
By Tommy
I wrote a email to this website about how much I like halo 3. The nice man who run this website asked if I could write a thing for this website about what I thought of it because I had an interesting per-spec-tive (had to look that up) about it. He says he will put it up and put pictures for it too. I said that sounds like a fun plan but I don’t write so good. He said it’s alright tommy just do your best.

Top 10 Most Ridiculous Cars

Rich Jerk
By M. Anger
Cars. Everybody has them (except really poor people, children, and many people in cities) and everybody loves them (except me). But there are some cars which I hate more than others: The Hummer H2, Dodge Magnum, Chrysler 300, and Mercedes SLR McLaren. These are cars which bring great shame upon themselves and the people who purchase them. Read on for the top 10 most ridiculous cars of all time.

Editor's note: This article does not include 10 cars, only 4. Also, these cars are most certainly not the most ridiculous cars of all time. They are maybe some of the most ridiculous cars of 2004-2007. We apologize for any confusion this may have caused.

George Lucas & The Wedding

Church We went into the church and walked over to the bar. George stood still for a moment, crossing himself and then began to wring his hands. I shook my head, touching his shoulder.

“Maybe we shouldn’t.” I said, "Anyway it doesn't seem right. How many churches do you know that keep a fully stocked bar? How many, I ask you?"

Worthless Guide to Drugs Part 2: Ups & Downs

Drugs2
By Henry
Part 1 of this guide, I talked about a bunch of different drugs (Heroin, Marijuana, LSD, and Mushrooms) and gave you advice on whether or not you should take them. In this portion I’ll let you in on the secrets of a few more drugs, and also give you a coupon code you can redeem with your dealer for a free drug (participation may vary). Also, for the first time ever, we’ll ask small children on the street for their opinions on these hard drugs. The answers they give may shock you.