Top 10 Most Ridiculous Cars

Rich Jerk

By M. Anger
Cars. Everybody has them (except really poor people, children, and many
people in cities) and everybody loves them (except me). But there are
some cars which I hate more than others: The Hummer H2, Dodge Magnum,
Chrysler 300, and Mercedes SLR McLaren. These are cars which bring
great shame upon themselves and the people who purchase them. Read on
for the top 10 most ridiculous cars of all time.

Editor's note: This article does not include 10 cars, only 4. Also,
these cars are most certainly not the most ridiculous cars of all time.
They are maybe some of the most ridiculous cars of 2004-2007. We apologize for
any confusion this may have caused.

George Lucas & The Wedding

Church

We went into the church and walked over to the bar. George stood still
for a moment, crossing himself and then began to wring his hands. I
shook my head, touching his shoulder.

“Maybe we shouldn’t.” I said, "Anyway it doesn't seem right. How many
churches do you know that keep a fully stocked bar? How many, I ask
you?"

Worthless Guide to Drugs Part 2: Ups & Downs

Drugs2

By Henry

Part 1
of this guide, I talked about a bunch of different drugs
(Heroin, Marijuana, LSD, and Mushrooms) and gave you advice on whether
or not you should take them. In this portion I’ll let you in on the
secrets of a few more drugs, and also give you a coupon code you can
redeem with your dealer for a free drug (participation may vary). Also,
for the first time ever, we’ll ask small children on the street for
their opinions on these hard drugs. The answers they give may shock you.

Socks & Sandals: Retribution

Sandal

By Jones

Satan. Beelzebub. Steve. The Dark One has many names and many faces,
all of which are intended to deceive the common man. If ever it comes
to pass that you find yourself locked into a life or death battle with
this specter of evil, I can give you but one piece of advice: Step on
his foot, for he will surely be wearing stockings on sandaled feet. But
what could possibly possess The Devil (or anyone for that matter) to
wear socks with sandals? This is one of the many questions I hope to
answer in this thirty-six and ten part series Socks & Sandals: Transitive Beguilement and Substantiational Value Judgements!

The Detective

Detective
Chapter 2,223

Detective Trevor Whipple sat at his desk eating a sandwich. Suddenly there came a knock on his office door.

"Who is it?" asked the detective, wiping the blood from his mouth and setting the severed head down gently.

"It's Daniel," said a voice outside the door.

The Detective stood and pulled up his pants, tucking in his shirt.

America: An Inferior Primer

Bigfoot

By Henry
The United States of America. Land of the free. Home of the Brave.
House of 1,000 Corpses. A world untouched by time. Some people call it
“The Happiest place on earth”. Others refer to it as
“Old usa (OO-SAH)”. But what is the real story behind the
most powerful nation in the universe? That’s what our crack team
of undercover investigators set out to uncover. Did they succeed?
Reading this article is the only way to find out! (This is what I call
“teasing the story”) Here’s a quick history of U S
and A.

Worthless Guide to Comedy - Part 3: Real Life

Funny

By The Baron

There
is a difference between thinking you are funny, and knowing you are.
For example, a lot of kids in high school thought they were pretty
hilarious when they called me Fatchunk or threw a bean burrito at me
from across the room during lunch. These people thought they were funny
and they weren’t. I on the other hand, KNOW I am funny. Just mention
The Baron on any of the message boards I am most popular on, and they
will surely type out a hearty “LOL” upon even thinking about my various
jinks (high and low). But I’m not here to brag; I’m writing in
this third comedy article to educate the internet public about
something they do not truly understand: Comedy. So sit back, open a
sack of your favorite chips, and get ready to laugh.