Behold! For I am Otherkin! (Feel My Power)

Otherkin
Being
Otherkin is a lot like being black in the 50s. What I mean by this is
that coming out of the closet as an Otherkin (like coming out as a
black person) can be dangerous to your health. I personally have had
people shout slurs at me in the park, had a large carton of
Whoppers candy thrown at my back, and been denied a position in data
entry simply because I am not shy about telling people that my body
contains the soul of an ancient dragon named Stryyker.

So since not
many people in the world seem to understand what it means to be an
Otherkin, I figured I would write this Q&A to straighten you
people out. 

Worthless Guide to Survival - Part 4: Urban Environments

Riot

When
most people think about survival they usually imagine themselves
hurling crude spears at boars in the Amazon, or brushing snow from
their beard as they slog through waist-high snow wearing a bearskin
overcoat. These images come from the most common survival scenarios
(Disastrous Jungle Treasure Hunt & Arctic Plane Crash,
respectively) but it’s important to remember that in some rare cases
you may need to “survive” in urban environments as well. In this guide
we’ll discuss some useful urban survival techniques such a tailing a thief, surviving a riot, and gently stroking your
zombified uncle’s thinning hair as he sputters and dies of multiple
shotgun blasts to the face and eyes.

Most Superpowers Are Worthless (A Guide)

Powers

Many people wish they had superpowers, but do they truly know the risk involved in obtaining them? Who among us would
brave an atomic blast, a bite from a radioactive
arachnid, or an inordinately risky and ostensibly pointless genetic
experiment in order to obtain these powers? Very few people, because humans are basically cowards. But for those foolish enough to
try, I’ve written this guide describing the practical features of each
of the major superpowers. Be sure and read the whole thing before you
decide which you're going to go for.

Awful Scifi Tech: The 6th Day & Total Recall (Creepy Android Edition)

6th Day

By Kevin
Funnyman Arnold Schwarzenegger has starred in two reasonably popular science fiction films, The 6th Day and Total Recall.
Aside from taking place in the future and being goofy to the point of
near insanity, these films also share another common trait: They both
contain supercreepy androids. In The 6th Day it’s SimPal Cindy, a gape-mouthed animatronic mannequin child with beady eyes. In Total Recall
it’s JohnnyCab, who looks a bit like an evil ventriloquist dummy
version of Don Knotts dressed like a 1920s bus driver. Be warned that
this article contains a number of frightening pictures and videos of
these creatures, so it should probably not be viewed by small children
or pets.

Growing Old: A Guide for Fogies & Spinsters

Growing OldNobody
ever asks an old man’s opinion. Probably because most people just don’t
care what he thinks. “What can an old fool like that tell us about the
world anyway?!” One of these people might shout to you over the wind as
he grins and jerks the wheel of his convertible towards a raccoon in
the road.

Frankly, if people like this would just take the time to learn about
the elderly instead of deliberately running down helpless animals in
the street, perhaps this world would be a better place. So, for the
sake of education: Here is a Q&A in which I answer most (if not
all) of the questions you might have about the elderly and growing old.

Awful Sci-fi Tech: Dune

Dune Fatman

Many science fiction films portray the future as a beautiful place
where sleek chrome ships glide through skies, cybernetic servants cater
to our every whim, and war is but a distant memory. In Dune
however, the future is apparently the 70s. Drab, puffy-haired men
wander around cheap sets in a druggy haze while mumbling vaguely religious
threats, everyone wears unflattering jumpsuits, and seemingly,
only three colors of paint exist: brown, green, and burnt orange. But
most importantly, Dune takes place in a
future where humans have seemingly disregarded all previous technological
advancements in favor of a bunch of crappy stuff they found in junkyard somewhere.

George Lucas In The Bathroom

Parking Lot

We
pulled into the lot and George swung the car into a handicapped space.
I furrowed my brow and peered at the blue sign through the cracked windshield.

“As far as I know,” I said, “You aren’t a handicap.”

“This
is justice.” He said, pushing the car door open with his knee. “Why
should a cripple get a free ride? Let him put on a stained white work
shirt. Let him push despair into the pit of his belly and smile at the
customers. I say put down the crutch and pick up a shovel; There’s work
to be done.”

Tommy's Resume

Resume Guy

Hi my name is Tommy and I am 36 years old. I am looking for a good job
and be paid money so I can buy one playstations three entertainment
game system. I am a very good worker and aiming for the star. Also this
is called a resume and it has pictures in it too. They said to me tommy
a resume doesnt have to have pictures maybe it shouldnt but I think
people like pictures and anyhow it looked real boring.

Amazing Actors: Samuel L. Jackson & John Travolta

Amazing Actors

By The Baron
Some people respect doctors, but I think acting is the noblest career a
man can have. Can you think of another job where you make people’s
lives better and are also respected for it? Of course you can’t. This
series is dedicated to the best of the best in the acting field. These
are the greatest performers of our generation, they make us laugh and
cry and fall in love (with them). Be sure to have a tissue handy too,
because some of the movie memories I unearth are real tearjerkers. A
real man isn't afraid to cry.