AWFUL SCIFI TECH

4 Worthless Technologies of The Future

Awful Scifi Tech: 4 Failed Future Technologies
As of the time this is being written, the year is 2010. It is officially The Future. Not quite what you expected, right? From what I was told, by this time were supposed to have become a race of golden brown superhumans with cheap and easy access to all the sex goggles, synthetic tree bark, and all the child abuse simulators we could carry. Obviously this has not come to pass. Unfortunately, when it comes to cool future technologies like hoverboards or pianos that play themselves (!), science has failed us utterly, electing instead to focus its efforts on decidedly un-fantastical technologies like heart valve replacement surgery, cordless telephones, and low-sodium Wheat Thins.
 
Not that I'm complaining about how things have turned out. It's also true that there are plenty of hypothetical "Future" technologies we are better off without. Here are four of the worst offenders.
 

Awful Scifi Tech: The 6th Day & Total Recall (Creepy Android Edition)

6th Day
By Kevin
Funnyman Arnold Schwarzenegger has starred in two reasonably popular science fiction films, The 6th Day and Total Recall. Aside from taking place in the future and being goofy to the point of near insanity, these films also share another common trait: They both contain supercreepy androids. In The 6th Day it’s SimPal Cindy, a gape-mouthed animatronic mannequin child with beady eyes. In Total Recall it’s JohnnyCab, who looks a bit like an evil ventriloquist dummy version of Don Knotts dressed like a 1920s bus driver. Be warned that this article contains a number of frightening pictures and videos of these creatures, so it should probably not be viewed by small children or pets.

Awful Sci-fi Tech: Dune

Dune Fatman

Many science fiction films portray the future as a beautiful place where sleek chrome ships glide through skies, cybernetic servants cater to our every whim, and war is but a distant memory. In Dune however, the future is apparently the 70s. Drab, puffy-haired men wander around cheap sets in a druggy haze while mumbling vaguely religious threats, everyone wears unflattering jumpsuits, and seemingly, only three colors of paint exist: brown, green, and burnt orange. But most importantly, Dune takes place in a future where humans have seemingly disregarded all previous technological advancements in favor of a bunch of crappy stuff they found in junkyard somewhere.
Syndicate content




What Now?