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Japan!
They don’t call it The City of Angels for nothing. Many people live
there, and a number events have been known to take place within its borders. But this article isn’t about any of that. It’s just
that I’ve gotten a number of imaginary requests for a complete list of
thirty-one (31) things which are considered shameful and impolite in Japan.

So here, I’ve finally posted it. This will be the final article in the social graces series. Be careful out there.

Part 4 - Japanese Customs

Part 3 - More Table Manners

Part 2 - Table Manners

Part 1 - Restrooms

 

  1. Getting in a car accident for fun
  2. Pressing buttons on an ATM machine
  3. Using a bath towel to dry an elderly man who has fallen into a puddle
  4. Inviting someone to a party without their permission
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  5. Listening to an entire Jethro Tull album without skipping a track
  6. Barking like a dog in any non-sexual situation
  7. Setting the minutes on an alarm clock
  8. Slapping a punching bag with an open palm while shouting "Hyah!"
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  9. Angrily throwing stones into a pond
  10. Causing your voice to crack on purpose
  11. Saying "Hey let go of my arm." in Japanese if a Japanese guy grabs your arm
  12. Frolicking or prancing in fields of wheat
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  13. Touching a lightbulb with your fingers or eyes while changing it
  14. Playing a quick succession of sixteenth notes on any bass guitar while craning your neck
  15. Attempting to breathe underwater like Aquaman (Aquaman is a fake character)
  16. Visiting a flea market while intoxicated upon the sweet nectar of love
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  17. Shaking a dumb cheap pen which has nearly run out of ink, stupid thing
  18. Screaming "Yikes!" if you spot a shark in the ocean
  19. Having your leg fall asleep when any pet has lied down upon it
  20. Standing atop a moving train, subway, or tram car while whooping boisterously
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  21. Answering any phone which has rung
  22. Trying to guess the make and model of a car at night by its headlights
  23. Pressing the Page Up key on any Japanese keyboard without good reason
  24. Lashing (or pretending to lash) an adult horse with a whip
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  25. Lip-syncing in front of a crowd while sweating bullets
  26. Jogging in place while wearing a striped tracksuit
  27. Renting any boat or electric scooter with ill intent
  28. Wondering what would happen if gravity reversed and we all fell into the sky
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  29. Deliberately coming in first in a pinewood derby
  30. Shouting out “Rah!” in a no parking zone in a futile attempt to ward off evil spirits

 

That's pretty much it. Well, there is one more item on this list, but it's: "Listing everything that’s considered shameful in Japan." If I were to put that on the list, obviously that would be a major social blunder. So I won't.