The Baron's Novel Revealed!

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Greetings and saltations friends. This is your friend The Baron here with another update for you. What was this update sparked by you might ask? Well first of all it is my love of the written word. Nothing gives me greater satisfaction than knowing my writing is bringing joy to thousands of people on the internet. But mostly this update is sort of a reward for an email I recently received. It isn’t often I get positive feedback (this is the wretched interweb after all) but when I do I like to share the good will with everyone. What follows is the lovely email of to which I was referring to:

Grzegorz:
Wow.  I am impressed.  It's not often you can read someone's page and
instantly know that their I.Q. HAS to be over two hundred.  I quiver with
excitement at the thought of Quest for Time being released.  My interest
was piqued when I read about your novel.  I would LOVE for you to send it
to me.  (I happen to be a writer myself; don't worry, I won't steal it :)

Your Friend,
Grzegorz



First of all, I would like to thank you Gregory for having the courage to write in. It isn’t often that someone stands up above the crowd and praises those they respect. Bless you. Secondly, I have a wonderful announcement to make: I am revealing the first part of my novel here and now online. I would have sent it to you Gregory, but I feel the rest of my fans would feel left out! So without further adew, I present to you a never-before-seen short excerpt from Elves of Doomland:


Character guide:
Senethor – High elf sorcerer with a score to settle
Glimmer – His faithful and beautiful gnomish lover
Brody – A Quick-witted Human Theif
Lord Volva – The demon Lord who killed Senethors mother brother and step Aunt



Senethor walked quickly down the stairs and sighed out loud.

“What is all this racket down here, can’t an elve get some sleep?” He said.

Glimmer and Brody sat at the brown wooden table, drinking from brown glasses filled approximately 1/3 with dwarven ale. They laughed when Senethor came in, and Brody wiped some ale from his lips and began to insult Senethor.

Sorcerer

“Well, look who decided to show up, the king of the losers!” He said insultingly while saying it.

Senethor began to clench his fist. And then he took it and smashed it into a beautiful painting which sat on the end table nearby. It was a painting of his mother, Friexa. The only one he had kept after her death at the hands of the evil Lord Volva.

“Curse you Brody!” He screamed and yelled as tears streamed down his eyes. He began reciting an incantation for a spell. It was deadly when he began to do this.

“Brody doesn’t take kindly to spellcasting in his direction, little point-ears.) Brody said and stood up and adjusted his black belt on his stomach. He took out his dagger, which he called DragonBreak.

“Boys, boys!” Glimmer cried, and stood up, her luscious little breasts pushing at the tiny halter top she wore. You could see everything. Brody turned to look.

Senethor

“Mmm, he said, that’s quite a tasty little dish. I wouldn’t mind having a bite.” He said, and winked at her. She blushed and then quickly turned away. Wrapping herself in a cloak to hide her shame.

“That’s enough!” Cried Senethor and he was finished reciting his spell. A giant bolt came out of his hand and he held it out. It shot out and enveloped Brody the thief. “That should teach you to talk to a lady! Shocking isn’t it!”

“Gack!” Brady screamed in agony, screaming on the floor. “Gark!” Lightning bolts shot out from every hole in his body, even from his nose and snaked back into his mouth from there. He wasn’t dead though, Senethor had let him live because he was a true friend when the sticks came down to the line.

“Alright I think you’ve had enough of my power. Now get up and shake hands, and we’ll be friends once more” Senethor said. Glimmer had begun to cry but now he stopped and went to Senethor’s side, clutching onto his arm. He stroked her hair gently, like he loved her.

“Oh Senny,” the sexy gnome said. “You’ve got a heart in you bigger than a red dragon, and that’s a fact. She kissed him and looked starry eyed. “Let’s go upstairs to our chambers now.” She said and picked him up and carried him up the spiral staircase. They had a night of passion unlike anything you could imagine, and Brody was kept up all night and couldn’t sleep a wink because of all the loud sex that was going on.


Beautiful Girl




That’s all I’m going to reveal for now, but you can be sure I’ll give you all many more excerpts as the days go on. And remember if any of you are a publisher or know one, please contact me, because I haven’t heard back yet from any of the ones I’ve submitted the novel to yet. It’s only a matter of time though.

Goodnight everyone, and may the force be with you!