Worthless Guide to Antisocialism: Part 2

Part 1 - The Rudiments & The Madness
Part 2 - The Ghost & The Killer



The Ghost
Blank
This is the trickiest form of repulsion to pull off by far. It requires rock-solid concentration, dedication, and a great deal of preparation. For some, it may even be simpler to just deal with people rather than try to learn this form. But of course there is a trade off for all this effort. Those who master the form of The Ghost often become nearghosts. They are able to slide through any public or social situation unnoticed, doing what they please, when they please. Security cameras will even have trouble capturing their image. Truly these are the Zen masters of Antisocialism.


Appearance
By performing this act successfully, you will be but a smudge on the memory of anyone you happen to come into contact with (that is, if they notice you at all). Your appearance will facilitate this.

  1. Avoid Bright or High-Contrast Colors. Do not wear blacks, whites, or any bright primary colors. Stripes are out, as are checkered patterns and camouflage (this is not the jungle after all, and if it is: why are you in the jungle?).

  2. Pastels are Best. Pastels are pleasing to the eye without being too pleasing. They also release endorphins in those who see them, causing a dopey haze to fall over the viewer’s mind and affecting memory. Most people’s minds are already in a dopey haze anyway as they stumble around a shopping mall with a dumb look on their face, and pastels will usually push them over the edge, potentially causing them to sit quietly and gaze into the fountain with a far-off look in their eyes.

    Pastel

  3. Grays Are Not OK. If you’re going to be somewhere with a lot of bright, gaudy colors (such as downtown Tokyo during a riot, or a carnival), don’t be an idiot and wear gray clothes. Imagine looking at a canvas spattered with paint comprised of all the colors of the rainbow. Then imagine there is a single grey spot on this painting. The viewer will notice this spot immediately and say to him or herself “what a queer grey spot”. You are this spot, and it is your goal not to be noticed, so dress accordingly.

  4. Makeup When Required. If you have a lot of blemishes blend them into your face with some makeup. Also, if you have any distinguishing facial features like a large nose or jutting brow, you should attach some prostheses and blend them as well. Your face should be unremarkable, but not astonishingly so.  

    Makeup


Behavior
While appearance is undoubtedly the most important part of Ghosting, it is not to say it is the only important part. Behavior also plays a significant role. You can dress however you want, but if you’re dashing around licking items or firing a semiautomatic weapon, there’s a good chance somebody is going to take notice of you. Follow these rules to blend in.

Hiding
Hiding
There are certain situations when no amount of appearance or behavior alteration will disguise our presence. Weather you are an asian woman in the Big and Tall store, or a white man running for mayor in West Baltimore, there are some situations where you are going to stick out like a sore thumb no matter what you do. The solution is simple: Hide. Find a circular rack of clothing you can crawl into the middle of, slip into an air vent, roll yourself up in a large piece of carpeting, or do anything else you can do to get out of sight until the coast is clear. It may not be dignified, but it’s the only way.

Glide
Do not skip, do not run, do not creep. Glide. To glide means to move easily through groups of people. You must weave between them, twisting and moving your torso without even so much as touching another person. You are threading a person-needle through a moving haystack of hay-people. Also, this is most likely the stupidest and most ridiculous analogy that has even been put into writing. And yet I feel no shame.

Keep Moving
Running
You should never be standing still. This gives others a chance to fix their gaze on you and capture your soul. On the off chance that another human being does happen to look at you for more than a few seconds, simply move slowly behind a nearby obstruction (such as a pillar or potted fern) while looking off into space.

Expression
Your facial expression should not technically exist. Imagine this scenario: You’ve just smelled the most horrible thing, but don’t want anybody around to know that you smell it. Make that face.


The Killer
Killer
Killers are a fascinating bunch of people. Most of us are interested in them, but there aren't too many people who want to hold a conversation with one. This most probably has to do with a human's fear of being murdered, but who can say for sure?

For The Killer form, you must choose one of two styles: The Serial style or the Psychotic style. Think carefully before you choose, because once you start down one path it is usually quite difficult to turn back.

Serial
The Serial style is usually best for more standoffish types. It is far more subtle than its counterpart, but is also more difficult to pull off. As was discussed in the introduction, this style is not for everyone. You should possess what might only be described as a sickening beauty. This goes for both men and women, and should not be misinterpreted as a beauty so great that it makes a person sick. It's something else entirely, and difficult to explain. Imagine looking at an attractive face very closely, and seeing nothing in the eyes. Not sadness or anger or curiosity, nothing. Some pictures might clear it up:

Serial Serial2 Serial3 Serial4

Psychotic
This style is not so ambiguous. People will certainly know a Psychotic when they see one, both by his appearance and his actions. Here are some psychotics:

Psycho1 Psycho 2 Psycho3 Psycho 4

Behavior
I don't feel I have to go through in-depth behaviors for these styles, they are mostly self-explanatory. The serial style is based mostly on psychical appearance and involves a lot of staring through people when you look at them, and tilting your head like a bird and smiling in such a way that people can see just the tiniest hint of depravity in it.

For the Psychotic you can pretty much the same as the Madness style, except that it involves quite a bit more brandishing of weapons while giggling. It should be obvious that either of The Killer styles will be effective in limiting the number of people who approach you in social situations, so try them out! Please note that you shouldn't actually kill anyone, and if you do (or already have): For shame.