Image removed.

By The Baron
Ahoy again fellow dragonslayers! And welcome to The Baron’s column of
blighting! In today’s column I will be talking about the online
RPG game I am developing. Another name for online role playing games is
MMORPG (multiperson-on-line-role-playing-game). The MMORPG game which I
am creating is called Quest For Time. It will undoubtedly be one of the
most successful online games ever created if I ever get the funding for
it, which probably won’t be happening any time soon, my social life
(LARPing & Anthrocon preparations!) gets in the way! :( Anywhoo, here is a basic outline of the races I have
written up as well as some great pictures of what each race will
eventually look like. I will follow up with more details when I get the
time.

Part 1 - Quest For Time

Part 2 - More Ideas

Part 2 - Reader Mail

Part 3 - Battles

Unlike most MOLRPG games, Quest For Time will have
quite a few original races for the player to choose from, not just the
same old fantasy stuff you see over and over:

Elle

Image removed. 

This race is quite small in frame, and quite agile to
boot! Hailing from the Heavily forested forests of Thara-dail the
Elle’s are very skilled at making bows and arrows too and they can
shoot them quite well also! They have very fair hair, and are light
skinned, the ears come to a point.

Majics: They are great at majics.

Starting Location: Dinio Castle

Leader: Veriel, the beautiful night queen of the Elle

Elle Quote: “I am one with the land.”

 

Anthroes 

Image removed.

The Anthroes are a strange and wonderful race of men
who have used majics to turn themselves into higher realm half-beasts.
They are excellent fighters, and they love to party and dance. The
other races do not like the Anthroes, and look down their noses at
them. Anthroes can breed with both men and the animals of the forests,
but they prefer animals because they are kind and gentle.

 

Majics: Anthroes are the best at majics. After all, they were able to transform themselves!

Starting Location: Furside Forest

Leader: King Justin Foxbourne

Anthroes Quote: Ouch! You stepped on my tail!

 

 

Dverez

Image removed. 

The Dverez are very short stock people with think
beards and they love to drink alcoli. (Don’t get between a Dvrez and
his drink!) This race comes from the snowy “Eitsim Mountains and are
well adapted to colder temperatures and underground life. They use Axes
to fight their opponents.

Majics: They are not so good at majics.

Starting Location: Grumbleskin Tavern

Leader: Thrombar the Magnificent

Dwrez Quote: “Arr… gimme’ some liquor laddy!”

Huran

Image removed. 

The Hurans are a noble race which
comes from the grassy plains or Bar-Dain. They are as tall as “men” of
today, and they also speak English dialect. They are quite good with
swords and shields, and they have kings. You can be sure to expect many
players to want to play as this race!

Majics: They are OK at majics.

Starting Location: Azteroth Keep

Leader: King Xanthar

Huran Quote: “Hurans are the leaders and the rest merely are followers!”

Ganoes

Image removed.

The Ganoes are short little people who are not very
tall. They are very good at mechanics and they can dance up a storm!
Most wear glasses or goggles and players can even create flying
machines to fly around in and scout the areas. They live in tiny holes
in the ground and they are not too good in a fight.

Majic: They are pretty good with majics, but not TOO good!

Starting Location: Strokins Airship Store

Leader: Chancellor Perri Jingleberri

Ganoe Quote: “Hey! Just because I’m short, doesn’t mean I’m stupid!”

 

 

Grobot 

Image removed. 

The Grobots are a race of magical machines that crash
landed in a ship from the heavens. They are strong in battle and are a
very noble race. They fight with their strong metal fists and also with
mashno guns. Higher level Grobots will be able to transform into
different things, and separate Grobot players can even combine to form
a super grobot that will surely be a force to be reckoned with indeed!

Majic: Grobots do not need majic, their guns are so powerful.

Starting Location: The mother ship, Terra.

Leader: Prince Clank

Grobot Quote: Meek. Meek. Destroy. The. Enemys. Bloot.

Orgm

Image removed. 

Orgm are ruthless monsters that inhabit the deserts of
Quest for Time. They are a warlike people, and are also quick to fight.
They have large tusks and are pretty stupid. They have humorous voices
and they also use these bashed up axes tied with ropes. They train
their fellow Orgm in Barraxs and that’s where the new characters start.
Just be careful not to cross an Orgm!

Majic: Orgm are horrible at majics, don’t even try it.

Starting Location: Anywhere they want! (But seriously Orgm can start in any forest in the newbie area)

Leader: Orgm have no leaders, they are too tough for it.

Orgm Quote: “Grr! I will slash you like a fish in the waters!”

 

Happy adventuring fellow travelers and be sure to Continue to Part 2!

 

Reader Mail

From Matt K.

Are you retarded? You claim your game will be the best ever because
it has original races. In fact, all your races except one are cheap
knockoffs with stupid names that sound just like the originals.

The Elleare Elves, the Dverez are Dwarves, the Huran are humans,
the Ganoes are Gnomes, the Grobots are Robots, and the Orgm are ogres.
Not only do they look exactly like the their original counterparts, you
add nothing to them. The Gnomes are short, the humans rule all, the
ogres are strong, I haven't seen that one hundred times!

If you're going to claim you are making original races, actually
do it instead of giving them stupid names. And what is up with their
stupid quotes, "Hey! Just because I'm short doesn't mean I'm stupid!"
Give me a break man. You're ether borderline retarded or ten, I can't
tell. Stick to playing games, making them isn't your thing.

 

Well well, it looks like someone doesn't appreciate all my hard
work. I expected as much, people are so quick to judge an another
artist's craft... (rolls eyes). Anyways there is no call for you to
refer to me as retarded, I think maybe you are the one who is retarded,
friend. Retarded because you can't seem to understand the concept of
originality, I have never once played an RPG game with any of the race
names I have thought up, so I smell a rat.

Do not attempt to tell me about what has been done in a MMO before,
I have spent much of my adult life on a role playing server for a
little game called EVERQUEST. Perhaps you've heard of it? I thought so.
But I just wanted to let you know that your insulting little email
reached me and that I am not even going to dignify it with a response!
So please do not pester the webmaster of this site with your trivials
any more :)>

From U a Stupido

Dude, are you retarded?
Changing the names of the races don't make them original, I could copy
and paste the generic fantasy dwarf and call it a dwawerasdafvis and by
your logic that would make the race original? This MMORPG (Which does
not stand for multi-person online role playing game fool) will never
happen because no intelligent person (Unlike yourself) would fund this
project.


Seriously, what have you made or
added to make them original? Your dwarvis or whatever the hell they are
are the exact same as the generic dwarf, they love to drink, they are
short and they have long beards. Now what have you added of your own
besides the name? Nothing. Elles? Good with bows, fair skinned and
pointy ears! Wow! I've never seen that before! If you couldn't tell, I
was being sarcastic.


All your races are completely
unoriginal and generic, stop making games because you are wasting your
life on something that no one would ever want to play.

Ha!
I bet your face is certainly a bit red right Senier Stupido (I assume
you are hispanic) now if you read the previous letter. You said almost
the same thing, even with the same opening line, it seems like YOU are
unoriginal yourself. I suspect you just copied the previous person's
email and changed the name on it! (how does it feel to get a taste of
your own medicine?)

Second, you are wrong on the definition of MMORPG (I looked it up on
askjeeves) and also it is Dwarez not dwarvis, you had better get the
name correct if you are going to be a part of this game when it is
released (and I have had interest from some publishers at this point
but I can't say as of yet who) so in conclusion: Begone mortal! (And
PS, please stop sending me emails shouting at me, you are nothing but a
bully...)

From Nick The Metal


I can't believe all these people are calling you and your game retarded.
This appears to be the most original and if i do say so ingenious game of
all time. All the races are so cool how did you even come up with them? I
mean the Huran sound so cool almost like they could exist somewhere in our
world. I can't wait to kill some Ganoes they look annoying. Well, keep up
the great work I can't wait to play this game.

PS: Can i be a Beta Tester, when the time comes?

Ah yes, finally somebody who appreciates all my hard work and
dedication to this game. I am really glad that you can recognize true
originality, you are certainly a very intelligent man if I do say so
myself. To answer your question, the way I came up with the races was
not easy, and it was very time consuming and I don't know if I can go
into it here, but as you can see the result was certainly worth it.
As for your beta tester question, yes most definitely the beta will be
open for everyone who wants to participate, the more the better.
Thanks for your supportive email, and P.S. don't knock the Ganoes, they
are wily little critters! :)

From Bob:


Now, while I only barely browsed all that text about your MMO I have my
own highly opinonated feed back.  First of all the pvp picture you
showed only had 4 people fighting, hardly epic or however you described
it.  With no npcs or guides your game will flop.  If people
can't get basic items and a bit of direction when they start people
won't play, never mind 24+ dollars a month.  That's another nail
in your game's digital coffin, since 15 is the norm and your game isn't
going to have much add time.



I found this joke by some link on some crappy message board that used
to be good. If you actually made original characters and have a few
original ideas, I highly doubt you did but again I only skimed, then
maybe this joke has a chance. Other than that you're wasting
everyone's time with this joke and more importantly wasting MY time by
making me write this monster and tell you you're an idiot for thinking
about making such a horrible waste of my time I should spend sleeping.



So in closing please re-think some of the trash I read.  Sure this
may be harsh or mean or possibly vulguar, I don't think I swore, but
MMOs are a dime a dozen now.  If your game doesn't provide in the
way these folks want you're doomed to failure. If you at least get a
chuckle out of this trash I wrote I guess it would be a smashing
success.  If not then get a sense of humor and then try again on
this joke of a game.



In my final closing I pray that there was a method to my
maddness.  I know you got my message, I FEEL it in my bones or
possibly in a more sensitive area.  I heard you like LARP, do you
really shout out the damage you're doing?  How is that even
possible without some dice or a simiar item?  Do people just take
your word for it?  If so couldn't you say "I doth cast my
ten-thousand damage point lighting bolt.  YOU LOSE!" and then go
back to your house and masturbat to a picture of a cat-girl
wizard?  If so where can I sign up to join such a wonderful
orginasation.  If you don't want me that's fine,  I will
assume I'm too hip or cool for you cats and enjoy not playing in the
woods woods with foam swords.


Finally in my final closing I hope the day finds you well and you re-think this horrible joke. 


Regards,


CDxX

Thank you for writing in, you seem to be at least
semi-civilized, unlike most of the other troglodytes who write in to
insult me. But it also appears that you are some sort of drunk, which I
cannot abide. As the great character Data said in an episode of Star Trek: TNG when
addressing the other crew members love of alcohol: "I cannot understand
what you humans see in this substance." I do not feel I am waisting
anybody's time, in fact YOU are the one who waists your own and my
readers time by being a mean and writing a 40 page letter to me (which
I had to edit down). You also say I am doomed to failure, but this is
wrong too.

Do not blame me if you didn't go to sleep. My only
problem was I wrote up an intriguing proposal about a revolutionary new
MMO, and you are trying to make me into a judas for it. Well just so
you know, you are no Jesus H. Also, you must not know a single thing
about LARPing or D&D first edition rulset LARPing (which is what I
participate in) judging by your ignorant commentary on the subject. We
don't use foam swords (real ones, BE CAREFUL GUYS), and YES at times we
can use dice, but it does take a bit of spontaneousness out of the
match to have to set up a card table to roll the dice on, but such is
the price of war I suppose. But you don't understand until you have
tried it the rush of adrenaline a man can get by casting Melf's Acid
Arrow on an injured troll, or to snap off your last available Wall of
Flame spell to hold off a horde of advancing goblins at the last
second, and so you haven't truly lived and I pit you. As the bible
says: Ye should not judge lest you judge yourself.

As for your last section, I would thank you not to
judge my personal lifestyle. If I find cartoon animal people with ears
and fur and tails attractive and real humans ugly, who is to say that
this is strange. An animal never called you a name, an animal will
never reject you, and an animal always shows you love. In case you
weren't aware, sex with an animal is not a crime, so don't treat me
like the criminal.

From Cirtsss:

do you know how to spell? it's magic not majics. how can you call all of

these other people idiots if you can't spell

Oh how ironic! Little do you know that you have just made a fool out of
yourself. Of course I know that there is a concept called "magic" in
other RPGs, but when I created Quest For Time
I decided to allow my creativity to flow, so I came up with the idea of
"Majics" (always capitalized) instead. Majics are spells or powers that
creatures in the world of Quest for Time have.
They are things like the ability to cast fireballs, or even to cast two
fireballs if they wanted to. Also, one power can call lightning from
the sky (which actually I saw one of my friends do in real life, but
that is another story). I hope you learned something here.

Continue to Part 2!