Categories
CYOA Life of Crime

Give Up For No Apparent Reason

You smack your lips and stretch. You’ve never felt more relaxed in your life. Flipping off your shoes, you stretch out on the soft grass and close your eyes. In seconds the police are upon you, screaming and drawing their guns. “Hey hey…” you mutter, “what’s is all this racket? Can’t you see I’m trying […]

Categories
CYOA Life of Crime

Stretch Out On The Grass & Try To Sleep

You smack your lips and stretch. You’ve never felt more relaxed in your life. Flipping off your shoes, you stretch out on the soft grass and close your eyes. In seconds the police are upon you, screaming and dwaring their guns. “Hey hey…” you mutter, “what’s is all this racket? Can’t you see I’m trying […]

Categories
CYOA Life of Crime

Prance Towards Him & Grab Him By The Throat

“Well fiddly-dee-dee!” you cry, tilting your head to one side and throwing your hands into the air. You mime holding a tophat and cane, high stepping down the sidewalk towards the man. “Keep away from me, do you hear? Keep away from me, you…you freak!” He shouts as you dance nearer. He rasises his gun […]

Categories
CYOA Life of Crime

Let Him Rob The Bank & Attempt To Steal The Money From Him Outside

You watch as the teller nervously fills some bags with cash and then hands them over to the crook, who then squeezes off a round at the him, striking him in the shoulder. “That’s for making me wait.” The crook sneers. “Yowch!” says the teller. The robber strides out the front entrance. Moving quickly, you […]

Categories
CYOA Life of Crime

Live Out The Rest Of Your Life As A Nameless Loser

You turn walk past the man and into a vacant office, where you close and lock the door. The man then robs the bank. Your life continues pretty much as it always has. A few months later you get bored of working at the bank and get it in your head to quit. You never […]

Categories
CYOA Life of Crime

Live Out Your Life As A Schnook

You turn walk past the man and into a vacant office, where you close and lock the door. The man then robs the bank. Your life continues pretty much as it always has. A few months later you get bored of working at the bank and get it in your head to quit. You never […]

Categories
CYOA Life of Crime

Live Out Your Life As A Nobody

You turn walk past the man and into a vacant office, where you close and lock the door. The man then robs the bank. Your life continues pretty much as it always has. A few months later you get bored of working at the bank and get it in your head to quit. You never […]

Categories
CYOA Life of Crime

Come Crashing Through The Window

Since you’re apparently some sort of psychotic, you decide to smash through the window of your place of employment for no good reason at all. You find a window that looks promising and hit it dead center. You crash through, landing on your feet and sliding across the floor in a hail of glass while […]

Categories
CYOA Life of Crime

Land In The Group Of People

You take a deep breath and set down right in the middle of a large group of Sunday churchgoers. “Yarrrgggh!” You say. A middle-aged man yells and topples backwards onto a fire hydrant. They children scream and quickly scatter, a few scrambling under parked cars while the others disappear over a nearby hill. An old […]

Categories
CYOA Life of Crime

Shake Your Fist At The Spacecraft

As you fall, you turn towards the spacecraft and begin to shake your fist at it. “You lousy martians!” you shout, “You’ll rue the day you inexplicably granted me a number of potentially spectacular but as of yet undisclosed superpowers!” You then fall for a time, eventually crashing down on some poor urban family’s cheap […]

Categories
CYOA Life of Crime

Attempt To Fly

You wonder if the aliens granted you the power of flight. The moment this thought crosses your mind, you begin to fly. “Wheeee! It’s a holiday miracle!” You shout for some reason. You fly for a few minutes, and then shrug. It isn’t too thrilling. You slow to a hover, spit the bugs out of […]

Categories
CYOA Life of Crime

Choose Your Own Adventure: A Life Of Crime

It is a particularly fine summer evening. You are taking a shortcut through a field of wheat, on the way to your job at the bank. Suddenly you feel a tremendous pressure in your eardrums and a white light envelops you. You are lifted, struggling, into the belly of a spacecraft. An alien approaches and […]