How To Create a Heroic Self-Defense Kit

By Martin “The Baron” Hubley
An
attack on your person can come at any moment from any direction. It
only takes a second for a robber, muggist, or raper to end your life
forever. It can happen to anyone. It happened to me…
 
It
was a warm summers eve, 9:30 PM, and I was exiting the movie theater
after having just viewed the latest and greatest Harold Potter (it was
superb, obv!). I had stayed behind to watch the credits, and when I
left the film the parking lot was nearly empty. Upon reaching my
vehicle I found that a number of serious-looking young men were leaning
against my vehicle in a disrespectful fashion. Immediately the hair on
my neck stood up. “Danger” I thought to myself in my mind, “Danger.”
 

Luckily
my veins were still running electric with adrenaline from the great
ending of the film. I rose to my full height and poffed out my chest as
I fingered my utility knife in my pocket of my pants. “Get away!” I
shouted, “Get out! This is private!” For a moment the boys looked
confused and weary. I tensed, readying my strike. But luckily for them
they shrugged and walked off into the night. No blood was to be shedded
this night.
 
As hallowing as this story is, just know that
it could happen to you (or someone you love). So read faithful viewer, read on on if you want to learn about the tools
to stop those who would harm you in the darkest hourst.

The #1 most
important aspect of self-defense tools is always keeping them handy.
This means having somewhere to carry them. It doesn’t matter if you use
a purse, backpack, plastic grocery bag, or satchel, the bottom line is
that you ALWAYS have it on
your person. Personally, I utilize a midnight blue JanSport utility
pack (AKA a fanny pack) because I’ve found that it is bar-none the best
way to have all my security weapons available (and to still look smokin
hot while doing it).
 
For backup I always carry two packs,
one in the front and one in the back. People often laugh when
they see me wearing it, but I’m quite sure they won’t be laughing when I save their
worthless little lives.

When
I’m out doing neighborhood watch patrols I always wear my brown desert
camo safari vest. It has 10 or 15 pockets in which I can store my
various tools and weapons, and since I don’t wear any shirt under it,
it manages to keep me cool even in hot summer months. For self defense
this type of vest is a must.

It
might seem silly to you lay-men, but a good pair of boots is one of the
most important self-defense tools a person can own. There are THREE (count ’em)
reasons behind this:
 

 
So
as you can see, a good pair of boots is nothing to scoff at. I own 5 or
6 pair of standard issue S.W.A.T. boots which I wear with a pair of
thick tube socks, which I then tuck (or blouse to use the military
term) my cargo pants into. Now that’s what I call “Giving ’em the boot!”

Although I know quite a lot about GUN SAFETY,
I don’t actually carry a gun myself. But obviously it is a necessity
for any intelligent person’s survival kit. you might not always need a
gun, but when you DO need one, brother, do you ever need one! There is
no hardened fast rule about what type or style of gun you should buy,
but the bottom line is that you should always have SOMETHING. Keep it in your purse, keep it in a gym bag, keep it under the seat of your car, it doesn’t matter AS LONG AS YOU HAVE IT!
 
If
you’re still wondering why, allow me to tell you a story. Recently a
man was visiting a local amusement park with his young daughter. A
crude young man came up and touched the daughters bosom or buttock and
she screamed. The father began shouting at the groper and calling him
racial names. The groper then called 12 of his “pals” on a cellphone.
All of them then proceeded to arrive and beat the father up.

If this father would have had a gun NONE OF THIS WOULD HAVE HAPPENED.
At the very least he would have been able to kill or paralyze 6 or 7 of
his attackers before police arrived. It’s brutal I know, but that’s the
laws of the street.

Knifes

I may not carry a gun, but I certainly make up for it with knife. I keep at least 5 knife on me AT ALL TIMES, NO EXCEPTIONS.
I own approximately 50 knife of various kinds, and I choose which of
these to carry each morning. Here is just a sample of what I could
potentially be packing:
 

• Solid Steel Punch Daggers. As I explained earlier, I always keep at least 2 of these knife in my boots. Essential.
• Bayonette.
  My father gave me an old dubya dubya two bayonette as a gift one year.
  It’s about a foot long and solid as a railroad spike. Now that’s what
  I’m talkin about Willis!

• Leatherman Tool. I own a leatherman
  (not name brand) which has a fairly large knive on it. It isn’t much
  but it could definitely deal out some major hurt.

• Ceremonial
  Daggers. I’ll admit, I’m a bit of a sucker for QVC knifes. I’m a late
  night owl, so I often catch the knive infomercial shows on TV. I have a
  hard time resisting, so as of now I own 13 ceremonial and ornamental
  daggers (such as: The Draco Twin Fantasy Set, Pirates of the Carribean
  Spinning Fist Dagger, and a basic Desert Assassin W/Sheath. Jealous
  yet? Thought so.)

• Various Throwing Knife. After seeing the newest Batman movies I
  simply had to own some of this style of knive. I’ve purchased and
  practiced with many a knive over the years. I feel sorry for the crook
  who tries to steal something from me and runs away. Knifes to the back:
  *pip pip pip*!

• Katana.
  My katana is the crowne jewel and the prided joy of my collection. It
  is your basic 40 incher, and I hear it can cut through brick and iron
  like butter. I got it for a steal: Only 14 bucks on amazon.com.
  Needless to say its the best purchase I have ever made. I’ve even used
  it to slice some copper pipe for my pops. He was impressed, natch.
  Ninjitsu, anyone?

My Wits

Of
course I can’t end this article without mentioning the most valuable
self-defense weapon of all: My brain. As I’ve stated previously I have
over 3 years of private security experience, I am self-taught in over
40 matrial arts, and I have won every fight I have participated in. Not
to toot my own horn but basically what it comes down to is that my body
is could pretty much be described as a finely tuned watch. A watch that
can kill at the touch of a button. And that’s the
bottom line.
 
 
I hope this has given you a basic
idea of how little time and money you actually need to invest to start
defending yourself and your family/pets. I hope you will start today.

If you
have any questions or comments, please feel free to CONTACT ME
and I’ll do my best to answer them. Also be sure to keep an eye out for
the second article in this series, where I bust a bunch of self defense
tool myths. Trust me, you’ll definitely want to see that!
 
Stay safe out there fellas and fellinas.