Due to the outstanding success of my recently published article on bucket lists, I decided to “take it to the streets” and accost complete strangers, jabbing a starter pistol in their ribs and insisting that they create their own top 10 lists of “Things to Do Before You Die”. Not surprisingly, many of them […]
The American South has changed a great deal in recent years. What was once described by Harry S. Truman as “a festering pocket of indescribable filth and stroke-inducing poverty” is now home to a number of modern amenities, including schools, utility poles, and yes, even paved roads. But don’t be fooled into thinking that the […]
“What is it?” I asked, eying the large pile of dry brown plant matter uneasily. “One can’t say for sure,” George muttered, scooping up a handful and dropping it into his mouth, “I came upon it while tilling the fields. It’s true origins remain shrouded in darkness.” He sputtered, swallowing. I picked up […]
As of the time this is being written, the year is 2010. It is officially The Future. Not quite what you expected, right? From what I was told, by this time were supposed to have become a race of golden brown superhumans with cheap and easy access to all the sex goggles, synthetic tree bark, […]
From large groups of trees, to snow-capped mountains, to the ground under those mountains and trees, it’s fairly safe to say that Alaska has got it all. It’s a land of wonder, excitement, and adventure, where anything can, and will happen! Well…I’m being a bit generous. It’s probably more like a land of quiet bemusement, […]
A continuation of my hard-hitting look at the secret world of poetic spam emails. Meaning: I got a bunch more crazy spam emails. You may look at them and be moderately amused, if you wish.
In the hopes of capturing the lucrative Chinese person market, I have written this article in Chinese. Any English speakers who wish to read about the wonderful tourist attractions North Carolina has to offer (of which there are many!) can either translate this article to English using the translation software of their choice or view […]
WHAT A BLAZES? NORTH CAROLINA! If you are from United States you think there is nothing but strange and sorrowful things in North Carolina. Well, I must tell you! Not true. It is where all the best happens. The province includes a number of activities. Such as the old China saying goes: Those who taught […]
By The Sentient Portrait of an Early 19th Century Gentleman Upon the morning’s first light, I vacated my diggings and pointed my velocipede towards the local theater, my intentions being to view the latest moving picture: Clash of the Titans. Upon my arrival I was put into a fine pucker upon discovering that a gape-mouthed […]
It’s been a long time since I wrote my original Guide To Funerals. It’s one of the first articles I ever wrote, and the childishness of my worldview at that time certainly shows. Fortunately, dear reader, a lot has changed since then. I’ve grown up. I’ve matured. I’ve gotten married, bought a beautiful four bedroom, […]
Believe it or not, sometimes people actually go to Idaho on purpose. Yeah, I know, it sort of blew my mind at first too, but it’s true. “And what,” you might ask, “do these people do once they’ve arrived in Idaho?” Hell if I know. According to the board of tourism’s website Idaho is an […]
By Martin “The Baron” Hubley If you’ve never built your own personal computer (or PC as they’re known in the biz) you’re missing out on a world of excitement, adventure, and sensualness unlike anything you have known. And ladies, if you haven’t dated a man who has built his own computer, you’re missing out (just […]