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How to Help Disableds

By Martin “The Baron” Hubley
Not
to brag or anything, but around my hometown I’m known as a bit of a
philantherer. For those who are unfamiliar with the term, a
philantherer is someone who loves giving back to the community! So it
wouldn’t be at all out of the ordinary to see me feeding an elderly
woman chicken tenders at the food court, or even helping a little boy
in the Sears dressing room squeeze into a cute new pair of jeans. Hey
what can I say? I guess I just enjoy being a good person!
 
Unfortunately
not everyone is as big a fan of good deeds and charity as I am. There
are still plenty of folks out there who don’t know how to be good
citizens. One of the most offensive things I’ve noticed is that hardly
anyone knows how to treat a handicap. It’s hard to believe, I know, but
trust me, in my lifetime I’ve seen it all. I’ve seen ticket takers make
a woman in a wheelchair wait in line for popcorn at the theater. I’ve
seen a dwarve denied access to rollercoaster because of height
requirements. I’ve even seen drivers honk at someone with a handicapped
sticker who cut them off. It’s a cold world out there, but luckily I’m
here to help.
 
Read on to see my advice on how to properly treat someone who is under the influence of handicap.

By Martin “The Baron” Hubley
Not
to brag or anything, but around my hometown I’m known as a bit of a
philantherer. For those who are unfamiliar with the term, a
philantherer is someone who loves giving back to the community! So it
wouldn’t be at all out of the ordinary to see me feeding an elderly
woman chicken tenders at the food court, or even helping a little boy
in the Sears dressing room squeeze into a cute new pair of jeans. Hey
what can I say? I guess I just enjoy being a good person!
 
Unfortunately
not everyone is as big a fan of good deeds and charity as I am. There
are still plenty of folks out there who don’t know how to be good
citizens. One of the most offensive things I’ve noticed is that hardly
anyone knows how to treat a handicap. It’s hard to believe, I know, but
trust me, in my lifetime I’ve seen it all. I’ve seen ticket takers make
a woman in a wheelchair wait in line for popcorn at the theater. I’ve
seen a dwarve denied access to rollercoaster because of height
requirements. I’ve even seen drivers honk at someone with a handicapped
sticker who cut them off. It’s a cold world out there, but luckily I’m
here to help.
 
Read on to see my advice on how to properly treat someone who is under the influence of handicap.

 
 

Mental Disableds

CrazyThe number one thing you need to remember when addressing a someone with a mentalist handicap it that it is NOT
a good idea to speak to them directly. This is because you never know
what kind of disability they have, and likely, all you are going to do
is confuse them or cause them to go into a furious rage. You just never
know.
 
This is why you should always speak to someone who
could possibly be disabled through a third party. Many of them have
friends, employees, or relatives that help them while they run errands,
so any questions or concerns you have for the disabled should be
addressed to them. And don’t worry, while it might seem strange at
first to say things like “Tell that deaf he can’t park there”, “Does
the wheelchair guy want another ice cream?”, trust me, these are all
perfectly acceptable ways to communicate with these friendly folks!
 
Here are a couple more things you should know about how to play nice with these people:
 

Never Assume Mental Handicapping

For
example: Some mental obscructeds often wear a large white bandage or
special helmet, but many don’t. Wouldn’t you feel just a tinch foolish
heading up to a man at the store who walked strangely with a twisted up
mouth and asking if he has anyone to help with his disability only to
find out that he’s only a stroke victim? Talk about embarrassing. Not
only have you judged a person based on their looks (not cool) you also
probably made them feel like they are mentally ill when they are not.
Well done superjerk.
 

Crazy 2Do Not Anger Them

Remember
that a mental handicapped is not a power to be trifled with. Many of
them have been known to posses inhuman strength or increased ability to
jump, climb, or bite when they are frightened or angry. Sure, this may
very well be an old wive tale, but why take the risk? Keep them calm.
 

Don’t Give Them Scissors

No,
not even safety scissors. Most people who are mentally off will not
even understand how a scissor works, let alone the proper situations to
use one. I have heard horror stories of caretakers giving a mentalist a
pair of plastic kid scissors and leaving the room, only to return later
to an expensive pair or drapes shredded and the handicap on the floor
in a pool of it’s own blood. Don’t risk it!
 
 

Wheelchair People

WheelchairRemember:
Just because a person is in a wheelchair it does not make them less of
a human being. Some humans just can’t walk. Like babies for example. A
baby can’t walk, but do you treat them any differently than you would
an adult? No, of course you don’t. The same goes for the physically
impeded, they can do everything a real person can do (sometimes
better). For instance: did you realize that wheel chair people
sometimes play sports? Good for them!
 
Here are some more lightning hot protips on how to treat chairfolk with the respect and dignities they deserve:
 

Don’t Be afraid to Ask Them What is Wrong With Them

There
is a humorous or exciting story behind every wheelchair, and chairers
love to tell them! Who knows, you might even make a new friend!
 

Never Offer to Shake Hands

Their
arms might not work, and you risk embarrassing them. A simple pat on
the head or squeeze of the shoulder is sufficient for a greeting.
 

WheelchairBe Their Cheering Section

If you see someone in a wheelchair trying unsuccessfully to get up a curb, steep ramp, or dangerous incline, DO NOT OFFER TO HELP.
Most chairers are proud folk and will resent you treating them like a
child when they are perfectly capable of doing something themselves. A
better way is to provide moral assistance by shouting something like
“Come on! You can do it buddy!” It’s like the old saying “Give a man a
fish, he’ll feed it for a day, but teach a man to fish, and he’ll feed
any fish he catches for a lifetime  (because he feels more pride
from catching them himself).
 

Help Them Through Doors

Doors,
on the other hand, can be a wheeled human’s worst enemy, so if you ever
happen to be behind a wheel chairer as they approach a door, take some
initiative and help them out. Grab the back of their chair and push
them through. No need to even ask. Everyone appreciates a surprise
helping hand!
 
 

Midges and/or Dwarves

MidgetSeeing
someone who has been afflicted with dwarf in public can be a scary and
exciting experience, but there’s usually nothing to fear from them.
Think about it: Have you ever heard of a midget committing murder? Of
course you haven’t, because it never happens. These are a kind and
simple people who only want to be left alone with their thoughts and
once and a while given a compliment. Is that so very much to ask? I
think not.  
 
Anyhoo, here are some “mini” tips and tricks you can use to make sure you don’t offend one of these little beauties.
 

Don’t Hesitate to Give Them a Lift

If
you walk by an aisle in the grocery store and spot a dwarf staring at
an object on a high shelf, they probably need your assistance. While
your first impulse might be to walk on by and let them climb up, this
is very dangerous for someone so small. So walk up and offer to lift
them up by the hips or let them climb on your back to get what they
were looking for.
 

Use Proper Language

Not
to get too far into Political Correctness here, but there are a number
of terms midges and dwarves prefer you use when discussing them. As you
may have noticed I’ve been using a few already. These are the preferred
terms, however there are a few others (Bemidged, Dwarved, A Little
Miracle, One Who is Beset by Dwarf) which are acceptable as well.

Avoid Offensive Language

MidgetsThe
following terms and phrases are absolutely unacceptable and should
NEVER be used to describe one of these small folk: Hobbit, Tinyman,
Gnome, Goblin, Man-Baby, Little Creature, Tiny Tot, Bugman, Thumbelina,
Stumps, or Little One.
 

Never Look at One Directly

Small
Ones often get annoyed because of all the unwanted attention they get
whenever they go out. People just love to stare and point and guffaw.
So give them a break: Don’t look at them. It isn’t difficult to do, if
you happen to notice a dwarf (or someone who may be dwarved) walking
around, simply turn your head quickly away. Congrats, you’ve just given
another human being the greatest gift of all: Kindness.
 
 
 

Welp,
I hope you’ve all learned a thing or two about how to handle those who
mentally slowed, physically blocked, or similarly burdened. Remember
that our world is a beautiful and fantastic place filled with all kinds
of interesting people to look at. So the next time you see someone with
a disability, stop and say a friendly “hello!” Heck, why not even pose
for a picture with them! They’ll surely appreciate the attention.
 
Thanks y’alls!
 

Photos Credits
[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7]