Broken English Movie Reviews: Action Films!

Notice: The following is part of my unbelievably stupid Untranslatable series. After hastily writing these articles in English, I ran them through automated translators multiple times (choosing languages at random) until they were nearly unintelligible. I then edited them so they were somewhat less unintelligible (and hopefully at least somewhat readable?). I did not add my own “funny” touches to the final edit, as this would defeat the purpose of the exercise.

I suspect that I am alone in finding this entertaining. Nevertheless, you will find the results of one such translation experiment below.

Salutes to the Sun! I honestly have begun to come to a passage from which a movie or watching a movie when the most famous of the famous review.

This segment which I now am in reviews the film of those which are pertaining to these matters: Die Hard, Lethal Weapons, and Turner & Hooch.

DIE HARD

City of Los Angeles: At the Christmas party of the 30th floor of Nakatomi
Plaza (the plaza). Meanwhile, downstairs, crime criminals come from Germany and into the building, taking hostage the entire building!

However, one personage, John McClean, the New York City police cop stands on the way of terrors. He is one who doesn’t play to the rules, even his own rules. Starts a fight with a german in the lobby, to prevent terrorism and save the human effort to start a war.

In this the film of Die hard, the blood may be heavy, but it can be a fun-filled roll for the whole family! Kids love it! Mom, Dad, Bobby, Susie, and Billy, Sally, Jimmy, Dad, and Littles Junior cheers along with John Mclean as he dresses terrorist as baby Santa Claus. The elevator door open, and his bullets rain leaps out at and into the faces of terrorists, killing them soundly.

In other: he is walking barefooted on broken glass Christ ornaments placed in his path by terror. Little did if only the terrorists known: Nothing could stops president John Mclean from mission succeed! Hostage save. Telling my wife I love you.

Rating

9/10

A fun action edging seat thriller.
Touching everyone all around in the theater. Such joy.

LETHAL WEAPONS

The story follow: In December 1987 after 14 sessions of cocaine, young girl daughter of detective Murtaugh rose from the balcony of his apartment the night of and begins to take a suicide (her own).

Soon department of policing combines two officer: Director Murtaugh (suicider, alcoholist, “The Kid”) with black agent Riggs (black) who killed his own wife in traffic 37 years ago. Unfortunate for crime, these two group together fighting crime and being called “The weapon” together. Cops may have been reckless before, but this newest human weapon is considered borderline! Bring on chicken! Crooks!

You would having great time to watch this film for those enjoy the making the torture with electric shocks, getting blown by a live grenade, rapidly explosions, and intercourse with whores beyond contempt. Beauteous rail god. Riggs! Riggs!

Rating

7/10

Sexy violence rump. Heroin deal. Experience Longing For Yours..

Turner & Hooch

Star actor Tom Hanks star in this dogs slobbering for detectives action movie. Their mission is to solve crimes as a flight instructor with a gay dog. After he is killed in the haunted castle, an ugly dog with Tom Hanks needs to unlock the mystery of the old manager whom became murdered.

Animal lovers in the audience will enjoy these two character in double breasted two suits. In joy they gad about the city, courting women and breathing justice to the kingdom. Tom Hanks is the magician of male beauty, you must stop him at all costs!

This action movie overall is fine to leave in the middle. As always with the Hanks films the acting is above the board always. However the dog cannot deliver it’s lines properly and should be ground into ash and eaten as the food dish so that it can be eaten. This is more common use of this animal than to starring in the film.

Deliver this vile dog creature’s head to us on a platter, and we shall be happy to have a banquet in effect.

Rating

6/10