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Engrish Movie Reviews: Part 3

Notice: The following is part of my unbelievably stupid Untranslatable series. After hastily writing these articles in English, I ran them through automated translators multiple times (choosing languages at random) until they were nearly unintelligible. I then edited them so they were somewhat less unintelligible (and hopefully at least partially readable). I did not add my own “funny” touches to the final edit, as this would defeat the purpose of the exercise.

I suspect that I am alone in finding this entertaining. Nevertheless, you will find the results of one such translation experiment below. 

INTRO

Often I have occasion to view a film with my mother and father. Not just any film will do the deed. A parents film should be family friendly for the whole family, even grandmother, who cannot hear properly, should enjoy it.

That is why today I am going to speak of these favorite kids movies: Wall E. The Wizard Oz. Coraline thank you.

Wall-E

The Plot

Because of the garbage and trash which is being applied to the earth by human beings in the future, mankind has abandoned his earth mother. WALLY, a robot trash keeper, is alone on the earth, cleaning the scene of the crime. WALLY sits on the Earth with his faithful pet cockroaches, which are dirty but kind. One day, EVE, the white robot, is sent back to the Earth to see what happened. She fires rockets at WALLY and laser and he falls in love with the crazy metal, and wants it.

Then the ship arrives! the monster and WALLY and EVE get taken up in the ship. All the old earth people are on the ship. Humans.
All ride around in a chair which can fly. They have a fat fat puddles of sweat on them and are afflicted by a foul corruption of laziness. They cannot walk on their legs, and one happen to fall out the chair the worthless piece of fat can die instantly. This is the destiny of mankind. WALLY is saving their worthless lives.

In this film, we can see the waste which has been caused (even today) by the Americans. The robots save the day, because the Americans can not even push a button on the wall, without being unnecessarily frightened people. What is this mixed world in which we live? None can say. But WALLY could help.

Rating

8/10
Cringing work of great love and such joy.

THE WIZARD OF OZ

Get inside a tornado, Dorothy, then your house crashes down on the old witch whom died! Look out. Step outside Dorthy. All the people cheering, Dorothy. They are the midges from the group. They can not walk properly as portions of their legs are missing. However: They can sing! They sing Dorothy, a song, to tell you the dead witch sister will take cruel revenge. Go see king OZ.

Dorothy is a powerful with human love, moving on the path to OZ, Tooty her dog follows down the yellow path. She meets the following: A man with the skin made of straw. A man with the metal body, head has been created from funnel. Man converted from a lion, and probably possessed the genitalia of this creature as well.

This is the latest movie which, being an elegant thief, stole my breath from me due to beauty. The color of the film is brave.  My mother and father were in the best of spirits during this film, and were enjoying the movie. My grandmother, however, is not. On occasion she would spit in the direction of the screen (spit several times). Overall, we had a great and fun night. People who are fans will enjoy this film.

Rating

5/10
Good, but too frighten the young ones!

CORALINE

Coraline, a young girl made from cloth and clay, seeks to discover her family’s tragic secret. She is aiming to open a small door to find the various versions of the tragic life. In this film she enters a parallel world, where reality is similar to her own life, only advantageous! However, when the risk of dangerous threats soon turn from dangerous to danger, her counterfeit mother captures her and locks her in the fabric of her dream.

Impressed by both children and adults, this clay animation is a 10-something rating. Needless to say, and say it loud: This movie rules! First, I thought: “What a boring movie for children, most of the year no kid would see this.” But then immediately I was shocked at how frightening the film reached, and it refused to back down!

When the mother with button eyes appeared I thought to have vomit. Fortunately, in any event I did not have to reach for the doggy bag to vomit, I was fascinated by the beauty of this movie, too! Girl Power!

Rating

9/10
Ancient violence pleasure dream. More please!