Awful Film Fights: Double Dragon

Double DragonJanuary 14th 2096
Mother is sick again. I doubt she will make it another day, let alone a week as Doctor Fonsworth says. It is a cold world...

Note: Took a fight scene from the movie Double Dragon and added some music to it. Haven't seen Double Dragon yet, but found a great Amazon customer review which seemingly tells me everything I need to know about it:

From my point of view this movie is great!It may not be as good as the game but is still good.There are some funny parts and no swearing.Just to let you know that this movie is double the fun and double action.And also this is double dragon!

Here is the video. I hope you enjoy it.
Yours Truly In Love,

Unforgivable Game Design Sins

Crying ManlyAs someone who most people would consider to be pretty annoying, I'm in a good position to know what's bothersome and what isn't. So I've decided to go through a few little things in videogames which annoy me. This is stuff that developers should easily be able to fix, but they're either too stupid, or too lazy to do it. They shouldn't be able to get away with all this crap. Someone has to call them out! Obviously I can't do it, because what pull do I have? All I do is run this piece of crap site.

The only thing I really can do is write a half-assed article bitching about these things on this website (which, again, nobody ever reads). Guess I'll just do that then. That'll learn em.


Arcade GamesI have a rule that I don’t start an article with pointless, seminonsensical puns. For example, if I were writing about those games at arcades which give out tickets it might’ve been something like: “Sometimes making children feel like winners is ‘Just the Ticket’ for someone who wants to succeed in the arcade business!” or “Sometimes a visit to the local arcade is like being in a ‘Ticket Tape Parade’, you never quite know what'll come up!”

But I won’t do that. Instead, I think I'll just write whatever random crap comes into my head, and when it seems to have gotten too long, I'll stop abruptly. Yeah. That's what I'll do.

Halo 3 Review

By Tommy
I wrote a email to this website about how much I like halo 3. The nice man who run this website asked if I could write a thing for this website about what I thought of it because I had an interesting per-spec-tive (had to look that up) about it. He says he will put it up and put pictures for it too. I said that sounds like a fun plan but I don’t write so good. He said it’s alright tommy just do your best.

World Of Warcraft: An Irrelevant Review

I had been watching a program on television about a game called World Of Warcraft. "That certainly is interesting." I might have been heard to remark after the show had ended, "I do enjoy programs which describe various items of interest; perhaps I should learn more about this particular item." Unfortunately, I was immediately distracted by a commercial for Superman Crunch cereal and forgot what I had just said. The next day the show aired again, and after watching it a second time I decided to write this article.

True History of Game Consoles: Part 3



Part I: Here.

Part II: Here.

Part III:  Down Below...

True History of Game Consoles: Part 2

In  Part I of  this series I covered a bunch of old-timey consoles, and probably some other stuff too. Honestly I can't really remember what I wrote about in it. I'm sure not gonna read that garbage again to find out either.

In Part II (that would be the part you're reading now), I've got some stuff I remembered off the top of my head about the Sega Genesis, the SNES, and some of the other major consoles that came out in the early 90s. Also, in case you're wondering why there's a picture of Urkel over there, it's because I needed something to represent the 1990s.

True History of Game Consoles: Part 1

ControlHave you ever...Hurled a Playstation 2 controller in frustration? Kicked your Super Nintendo across the room after losing to a particularly cheap boss? Become so utterly enraged at a Dreamcast game that you snapped the disc into shards and began gingerly slicing at your arms with them while rocking back and forth and weeping softly?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, you probably love to play video games! Well, except the third one. I don’t know what that one would signify. But I think my point was that if you love video games enough to destroy stuff, you'll probably enjoy this article.
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