Warrior

Howdy ya'll, this is your old pal Martin "The Baron" Hubley
here again to spurt some more knowlege into your mouths and onto the
front of your shirts. How many times has this happened to you: You
apply for a job, but the boss gives it to someone else! Sure is rotten
isn't it?! Well never fear, The Baron's here to tell you that the
reason you missed out on that golden opportunity isn't because your a
loser, it's because you're resume is one!

All aboard the learning train folks! There are three important
properties every resume should have: Heart, Hope, & Be Passionate.
Heart means make 'em cry. Hope means give em' the hope that you're the
best man (or gal) for the job! And C. Above all Be Passionate!
Passion is the sloppy goop that makes the world go round, so let em'
have it! On the day of your interview, walk straight in the door, hand
over your resume, and slather your interviewer with a sloppy dose of
passion all over their face and in their mouth. They won't know what
hit em'!

But for more detailed tips, read on to check out yours truly's very own
resume. You'll have that job in no time!

Perfect Resume Wizard 

Martin "The Baron" Hubley's
Resume!

A superfun nice guy
looking for a bitchin' job in Techs
Supporting!

 
 

Please Allow me
To Intraduce myself!

To who it may concern: Howdy y'all! My name
is Martin Hubley (most
folks just call me "The Baron") wondering if I might bone your ear for
a moment about one of the most fantastic, handsome, interesting, and
teriffic employee I've ever meet. No, I'm not talking about acting star
Tom Cruze, I'm talking about yours truly, The Baron! I hope
you'll take
a look see over this resume I've written up, as I really have enjoyed
creating it!!!! ;)
 

Personal Stats

Great Resume GreenName:
Martin "The Baron" Hubley
Height: 5 Feet 8 Inches
Weight: 325 Pounds (give or take a few!)
Age: 36
IQ: 156
Home Phone Number: 342-111-4339
Cell Number: Don't Have One. Waste of money.
Email: Strykker_dragoon@hotmail.com
Alt Email: breezekin@largeluciousladies.net
NOTICE: I am otherkin so if you have any problems with this you
are just going to have to deal with it or perhaps youd like a call from
the ACLU? Didn't think so.

Objective

To find a job helping others using my
computer skills. I love computers
(I'm a certifiable expert, no less), and I love (most) people, so I
know that a job in techs support will be right for me (and for you, the
corporation). Hire me now (lol)!
 

Education

Graduated from Jamestown Memorial High with
a 3.1 GPA (honor roll) and the adorations of all my peers. I was one of
the most sot
after students and even garnered the nick name "Teachers Favorite" on
more than one occasion! Need less to say, the other students were a
often bit jealous. Oh well, takes one to know one, am I right folks?
 
I never attended collage (didn't need to) but I'm self-taught in
computer skills as well as 10+ forms of martial arts. So not only can I
install a MOBO (computer-lovers slang for mother board) but I can take
down any unruly customer who comes in looking for a rumble.
Violence may not be the answer, but unfortunately it is often nessecary
all too often.

Previous Jobs


Suncoast Movie Store - 3 Years


Position

Worked as a cashier at Suncoast Motion
Picture company in the Wynn Park
Mall for over 3 years.
 

Resume FantasticSkills
Learned

  • Learning about Films. By
    watching them & reading the boxes (mostly
    anime)
  • Helping Customers. Those who
    fail to grasp the concept of alphebetical
    order find films.
  • Reporting Three Coworkers to the
    Boss.
    They were smoking weed joints out behind the
    delivery door and they subsequent to this became fired.
  • Working with BLACKS and ASIANS. I
    work extremely well with these people and can communicate to them on
    their level.
  • Counting. handling money; math.


Reason for Leaving

Manager was unfair; wouldn't give time off
when requested,
forced employees to work evenings and weekends and asked cashiers to
stock shelves. If you're reading this I WAS NOT HIRED AS A
STOCKBOY I WAS HIRED AS A CAISHER. But anyhoo, I called him a
offensive name (not proud of this but sometimes engouh is enough, am I
right ladies?) and was escorted out by the ogres in mall security. No
biggie.
 

Between Jobs - Past 9.5
Years

 After losing my Suncoast job I was
devestated beyond reproachment. I
couldn't sleep, I couldn't bathe, I couldn't talk, I couldn't do
laundry or change a tire. All I could do was
sleep. Luckily I had my loving mother and father (bleess them) to give
me a place to live and stay.
 
Resume Awesome CastleHonesty this was a blessing in duisguise. I now
have more than 3 years
of experience in helping my relatives and friends with PC
troubleshoots. Not much experience in the Mac area, but as they are
fairly similar I'm sure I can figure it out in no time. I'm a quick
learner, in case you haven't guessed yet!
 
 I'm actually an expert when it
comes to computers. I built my current
rig (slang for PC tower) from the ground floor up, starting with a
custom $5000 Alienware PC I got for Easter (I pause so you can wipe the
drool from your keyboard now) and adding in two sticks of RAM style
Memory, a speedy 12 mm case fan, video card drivers, and plenty of
custom tube lights and buzzers. Jealous yet? But I think this proves
that I know my way around a circuit breaker.
 

Hobbies

Cosplay, TV, Playing to Win, LARP, D&D,
Getting the Job Done,
Playing with my two kitties, Cruising for Hotties (Whilst Being
Respectful),
Marital Arts, Braiding, & Car Shopping (I don't drive but love to
look & dream), Respecting Women and Minorities, doing What is
right...
 

References

Joan Hubley
PH# 342-111-4339
 
Mark M. Hubley
PH# 342-111-4339
 
Agatha Hubley
PH# 430-442-1024
 
Randy Smithe
AIM Name: Chaos_Magician_02
 
 

In Conlusion

I hope you've enjoyed and respected reading
my resume, but more
importantly I hope you enjoyed and respected me for this job. I know
I'm the right man for the job and I know I can do this job. I hope to
hear back from you about this job as soon as possible so I can bring
our company into our 20th century with you. Thank you for considering
me for this job and I hope to see you there on day one!
 
I'll be the one working my hardest!

THANXXS Y'ALLS!