The Baron's Film Korner: Batman

BatmanBy Martin “The Baron” Hubley
Howdy folks, your old friend the Barron here again with episode 2 of The Baron's Film Korner. I would like this to be a regular feature, but I’m not quite sure if the dumbat who runs this site will allow it.

 I feel it would help pull this site up by its pathetic bootstraps. Judging from the quality of other articles I’ve seen around here, they need all the help they can get. Anyhoo, in this article I’ll discuss the newest batman films Batman Begins, and Batman Begins 2.

Old Batmen

I’d like to start off this article with a joke (and a truth): When you create a new batman film, you’ve got a lot of Batstory to contend with! But seriously, folks, to a lot of people (yours truly included) Bat Man is serious business and shouldn’t be trifled with. Here’s a quick history of Batman on stage and screen.

Batman (TV Series)Batman TV

This was the show that started it all. The creator of this show was the first to invision Batman and his friend Robin fighting crime and smacking down crooks. Even though this show took place in the 1950s, it sure did pack a punch.

Whenever a character would be struck by one of the heroes, a large comic book word would appear on screen. These words were things like “BOFFO” “SMUCK” or “CRUSH” and would really make you feel the blow.

Batman & Batman Returns

Batman Returns20These were the first real Batman Films. The first (Batman) starred Micheal Keaton and superstar Jack Nicholas as the Jokester. There isn’t much else I can say about it, because this movie was a snooze. Keaton is fantastic, but Nicholas can’t compare to Keith Ledger as The Jokester.

The less said about Batman Returns, the better. Micheal returns as batman. Who cares. It also starred Danny Devito (who I guess is a midget) as the penguin. This movie is ridiculous. At the end of it SPOLIER ALERT (duh) a bunch of other dwarves in penguin costumes carry Danny Devito’s dead body into the water like he was some kind of underwater penguin Viking. What in tarlation is that all about?

A Few Other Crappy BatmenBatman & Robin

Quite a few other Batmans have come around. Batman Forever starred Val “The Saint” Killner as batman, and funnyman Jim Carrey (in the role of a lifetime) took over the role of the Jokester.

 The movie was overlooked, but very good. Years later, there was Batman & Robin with George Clooney as old bats, and Arnold Scwarznegger (can’t spell it) as the Iceman. Excellent fun!

Batman Begins

Batman BeginsSo now we’ve arrived at the first “real” Batman. Batman Begins is director Christopher Nolan’s first feature length film, but it doesn’t show. This man is a masterwork behind the camera. I almost felt I was there beside batman fighting baddies and slaying the ladies with my charm (just kidding, Tina).

Christian Bale is more than wonderful as Bruce Wayne. We haven’t seen enough from this handsome and beautiful young sprite in recent years. The last film I remember seeing him in was Dead Poetry Society (rated one of my Funniest Films of All Time) where he starred alongside actor Ethan Hunt and Robin "Shakes the Clown" Williams.

This film will have in on the edge of your seat. Batman trains with his mentor the actor most known as QuiGon Jinn, who turns out to be evil. Then he travels to New York, where his parents are murdered on Halloween by a thug dressed as a vampire bat costume (which frightens him). He then uses this fear to become batman and to kill the Scarecrow, who is played by the doe-eyed young man who played Clark Kent (superman) in Smallville. In the end, good triumphs over evil, and Batman gets the girl!

7/10 (Great!)

Batman Begins 2

Batman Begins 2I have just one problem with this movie: Why title your film Batman Begins 2 when Batman Begins Again would be far more affective (and cooler to boot!). But this is only minor sniggle, Batman Begins 2 is no doubt the greatest film ever committed to cellulose.

Keith Ledger steals the screen (and our hearts) as the Jokester. He might speak like a stroke victim and slurp his drool like a idiot, but the only drool that’ll be coming from audience member’s mouths during this film is awe drool at his performance. Honestly, a few times during the film I had to head outside into the lobby to catch my breath. He was just that frightening. I look forward to seeing more of Mr. Ledger in the future!

Once again Christian Bale is passable as batman. He doesn’t quite fill Clooney’s handsome shoes, but he gets the job done. I am not a fan of the Monster voice he does for Batman though. This isn’t an episode of Sesame Street Neighborhoods, it’s a horror film.

11/10 (Amazing!)

Batman has given us a lot over the years. He has made us laugh and he has made us cry. Email Me if you’d like to talk about any of your private Batman experiences, and I'll post your responses here. I personally can’t wait for the next flick in the series. Hopefully they bring back Clooney. But look out for my next article, in which I review The Iron Man & Michael Clayton (a George Clooney legal drama), and as I’ve been known to say from time to time:

“Bring on the bats!”