Weird News & Links (Week of 11.22.09)

This week on Weird News & Links: Murderous lard thieves, Hitler's vintage automobile, dispatches from the television series Sister Sister, and the insane ramblings of an adult man who believes he has the soul of an ancient elf.
So yeah, pretty much just another normal week.

Weird News of The Week

Gang Kills People, Sells Their Fat To Make Cosmetics
Peruvian police said on Thursday they had broken up a gang that allegedly killed dozens of people and sold their fat to buyers who used it to make cosmetics. In addition to those taken into custody, police said they were searching for others who bought fat from the gang or might have worked with it. The group stored the fat it collected in used soda and water bottles, which police showed reporters.

Police said they were investigating 60 disappearances in the area that might be linked to the gang.

Puppy Killed For Disrupting Football Game
A witness told police that Woodson was kicking the dog down the street shortly after 1 p.m. Sunday, which is when the football game began. Police say Woodson was supposed to be taking the pit bull for a walk, but the animal resisted. By the time police arrived, the puppy was dead.

Police say Woodson didn't like the dog and was upset that his live-in girlfriend bought it.

Russian Billionaire Buys Hitler's Car
Adolf Hitler's original Mercedes has been sold to an unidentified Russian billionaire for several million euros.  Express daily wrote Monday that a middleman for the billionaire approached Duesseldorf-based vintage car dealer Michael Froehlich and asked him to track down the dictator's dark-blue 770 K model.

"I was really torn," Froehlich told Express. "After all this was about the car of a horrible mass murderer."
Man Regrets Repeatedly Punching Old Woman in Face
Steven Johnston, 23, pleaded guilty to assault for repeatedly punching Patricia Robinson, 69, on a Hebburn, England, bus Aug. 19 after she confronted him about swearing when she bumped into him during a sudden brake, the Daily Mail reported Wednesday.

"I can't put into words how sorry I am," Johnson told South Tyneside Magistrates' Court. "I've never done anything like this before and I feel terrible for what I've done, but I can't take it back now.
Man Robs Bank, Hides Across Street

Birmingham Crown Court sentenced Christopher Walker for attacking a bank security guard Oct. 22 and making off with $41,200 in cash during what his defense attorney termed an "incompetent" crime, the Daily Mail reported Friday. Walker's attorney, Raglan Ashton, said his client had not planned out the robbery as evidenced by Walker's decision to hide from authorities in his home across the street from the bank.

Non-Cheesy Image of The Week 

Shitty elf

"Hilarious Website Created By Someone Who is Obviously Insane" of The Week

Elf Site

No matter how much work I put into creating a Fictional Supernerd there's no way I could ever hope to reach the level of madness/hilarity achieved by those nerds who are actually mentally unstable. Take this site for example, in which the author (presumedly while blazed on military-grade doses of various psychedelics) rambles endlessly in a Semi-New-Age/Pseudointellectual/Charles Mansonesque way about how he is an elf in a human's body (at least that's what I think he's talking about). Here are some choice passages:
Elven currents strike me as not being particularly of an object, but the spaces BETWEEN objects. Not the emitter of forces...but the area of interplay between much so that one could think of that space between being it's own force...(yes, it is a bit odd). I tend to go with a paradigm of symbiosis and interaction...the images meet, there is a central being formed, which embodies the interaction, and information flows between the two through the jointly created filter...which of course has it's own sentience....and moves on. (chuckle).

This is a test of the planetary operating system.

...........Mission Control! Mission Control! There seems to be a problem!

................Come in, Mission Control! Mission Control, come in please! Something is wrong.

....................Flawed Causal Relationship!!! Fatal Error! Fatal Error!

.............................Preparing contingency action! 10 seconds to Reboot!

This is Mission Control. Please do not change planned fatal course of action. Resistance is futile. We repeat, resistance is futile.

...................resistance is futile...

........................resistance ... is ... futile...

You see, magick does not want an does not want a passive doll to place it's antics in front of.

===it wants a partner. It wants someone to INTERACT with.

===Where has the magick gone? It has left you for greener pastures that have cool people dancing with it, it is having a party with some responsible drunken intellectuals letting loose a blast of "Ass Humor" has left to go hang out with a mage in their room doing a ritual from their heart.
In conslusion, this guy thinks he is an elf and has access to a thesaurus and a vivid imagination.

Youtube Video of The Week


Product of The Week

Sister Sister

Most people would recommend the you start with the first season, but in my opinion season 2 is where it really started to get good.
Sister, sister
How about that two way twister
Shakin' up our family tree
With sibling syncronisity
Sister, sister
Never knew how much I missed ya
Now that everybody knows
I ain't ever gonna let you go

Sister, sister
Never knew how much I missed ya
Now that everybody knows I ain't ever gonna let you go
Sister, sister!

All Caps Amazon Customer Review(s) of The Week

Review 1
Review 2

I shall end this week's links with another quote from the great elven philosopher Rialian:

In my own case, I have found that letting "the drama" (tm) go on without facing it simply makes it worse, makes it stronger, and makes the people who revel in it the ones that set the stage of much of the interactions out there. Why let them? The more you avoid, the more they find their dynamics entering into the worlds you would create to be safe from them. The Masque of the Red Death is in there with you. You simply have it sitting next to you while you hide from the "infected masses".
Wise words people, wise words.

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