Weird News & Links (Week of 11.15.09)

Weird News
I've translated this week's introduction into a bunch of different random languages and then tried to get it back to english to make it more interesting, but it didn't really work out exactly how I had planned. Here it is anyway:
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Right? Anyway here's stuff.

Weird News of The Week

Man Allegedly Offered Teens Cash to Spit in His Face, Defecate on Him
A 39-year-old Southern California man has been arrested for misdemeanor child annoyance after allegedly paying a teenager $31 to spit in his face. The Ventura County Sheriff's Department says Charles Hersel was arrested Wednesday in a sting operation at a mall in Thousand Oaks. A sheriff's statement says Westlake High School students claimed Hersel paid them to yell profanities, spit and slap him in the face. Several also claimed he offered them cash to urinate and defecate on him.

Man Pretending to Be Ninja Impaled on Fence
An officer who was looking for an assault victim nearby Monday night heard the man screaming for help. Police supported him to prevent further injuries until medics arrived and took him to a hospital, where he was in serious condition in intensive care on Tuesday. Police spokeswoman Renee Witt wrote in a department Web site posting that officers thought the man might have been involved in the reported assault, but he insisted he was just a ninja trying to clear a 4- to 5-foot-tall fence.

Nightclub Owner Agrees to Halt Strippers-On-a-Truck Promotion
A Las Vegas strip club has agreed to stop an advertising promotion that involved hauling bikini-clad exotic dancers around in a truck with clear plastic sides. "It's clearly a distraction," Sisolak told the AP. "Somebody's going to turn their head to look at some girl flipping upside-down and spinning on a pole, and take their eyes off the road and could swerve and pop up the sidewalk and plow into a bunch of tourists that are walking along."

13-Year-Old Nabbed in Prostitution Sting
An undercover officer posing as a prostitute in Alabama tried more than once to run off a 13-year-old boy who asked her for sex, but police say the teen insisted and had to be arrested. Authorities in Mobile said Wednesday the teenager has been charged with a misdemeanor count of loitering while looking for a prostitute. Officer Christopher Levy says it's not clear exactly what the teen said to the officer, or how she responded.

Mail Carrier Found Drunk In Old Woman's Home Eating Noodles
Police said the postal worker was charged with public intoxication after she was found sitting on the kitchen floor of 95-year-old woman's house, eating leftover noodles from her refrigerator. [She] apparently entered the home through an unlocked front door. He said she was in uniform and had mail and a mail-carrying bag with her.

Beloved Image of The Week

Thong Man

Shitty Webpage of The Week

Pet Bullshit
Pet Feng Shui
I don't know about you people, but I've always been a big believer in Feng Shui (pronounced Fwentryyugeuewee Schwerabtatagheii). It's really quite a fascinating scientific practice actually. It's the belief that moving a bunch of your furniture around can cause different things to happen. For example, you might push your couch to face the wall in order to ward off evil spirits (chi-lai's) or push over a large bookshelf to ensure your children attain multiple orgasms during sexual intercourse. Useful right? That's why I'm posting a link to this pet feng shui page. It's a great resource for anyone with pets. Check out just a few of their useful tips:
  • Animals represent fire energy. Adding fire energy to your life will make you more passionate about life. If you travel a lot, you can always get a low-maintenance pet, like an African Dwarf Frog.

  • A fish tank with dirty, stagnant water can result in financial loss. A dog with a matted coat may prompt you to get overlooked for a promotion. An overweight cat may drive away romance.

  • Putting pictures of your animal in the center right portion of your home will make them feel like one of the family. This can be especially helpful when you're introducing a new animal into your home. Display these pictures in natural wood frames so that you will boost your pet's natural fire energy.

  • Having tons of cats in a tiny apartment isn't good for you or the animals. Too many pets can be symbolic of a person who is avoiding human relationships.

  • Don't allow you animals to maul visitors. Above all, never feed your animals scraps. They will become shameless beggars and sap your energy.


Youtube Video of The Week


Product of The Week

Safari Farm Goat - $2.99
Farm Goat
At first I thought this was a real goat for only 3 dollars. It seemed like a dream come true for a boy like me. I always wanted a goat to have as a friend and lover. But then I read the description. It was only a toy after all. Oh well.
But still, this isn't a bad deal. It looks just like a real goat to me.  


Amazon Customer Review of The Week

LeapFrog Learn & Groove Musical Table


Any why mess up a good thing? And that's that.

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