Weird News - Jackson Painting
This week: A(nother) woman rips off her boyfriend's testicle and chews on it, graves are double booked, children seem to attempt suicide, nuns grow marijuana, and nude men claiming to be Jesus act as crazy as they are expected to.

All of these stories, links, and so very much more has been made available to you after the break.


Woman Jailed For Ripping Off, Chewing On Boyfriend's Testicle
Amanda Monti, 24, flew into a rage when Geoffrey Jones, 37, rejected her advances at the end of a house party, Liverpool Crown Court heard. She pulled off his left testicle and tried to swallow it, before spitting it out. A friend handed it back to Mr Jones saying: "That's yours." Monti admitted wounding and was jailed for two-and-a-half years.

On 30 May she picked him up from a party in Crosby and went back for drinks with friends at Mr Jones's house. An argument ensued and Mr Jones said there was a struggle between them. In his statement, Mr Jones said she grabbed his genitals and "pulled hard. That caused my underpants to come off and I found I was completely naked and in excruciating pain."

The court heard that a friend saw Monti put Mr Jones's testicle into her mouth and try to swallow it. She choked and spat it back into her hand before the friend grabbed it and gave it back to Mr Jones. Doctors were unable to re-attach the organ.
Nude Man Claiming To Be Jesus Causes 5 Car Pileup
Police said a naked man yelling that he was 'Jesus' was the catalyst for a five-vehicle accident on Interstate 95 that injured three people and slowed traffic for nearly six hours. Police Sgt. Jeremiah Marron said officers responded to reports Saturday that a nude male was causing a disturbance on I-95. As police arrived, the man got into a car but police were able to pull the vehicle over.
Police said a tractor-trailer driver then slammed on the brakes to avoid another driver distracted by the highway commotion. The big rig jackknifed, careened into four cars and flipped over.
Grave Next To Woman's Dead Husband Double Booked
An elderly widow from Lincoln is devastated after she discovered that someone else had been buried in the plot beside her late husband at the cemetery. Lillas Hawkins' late husband, Durwood, was buried 26 years ago. He picked out the sites at Mount Vernon Memorial Park in Fair Oaks where one day they'd be buried side by side. But while visiting Durwood's grave this past weekend, she found another woman buried next to her husband.

"There's somebody in my plot," said Lillas. When she pointed it out to a worker at the cemetery, "He said 'we are in terrible trouble'," said Lillas.

Dignity, the company which owns the cemetery confirms Lillas' plot was double sold, but they insist it happened in the eighties, well before they took over the cemetery.
The cemetery management told her that digging up the woman buried in her spot isn't an option. They suggested Lillas be buried in the same plot above Durwood.
One 4-Year-Old's Spectacular Attempt To End It All
Palm tree fronds may have saved the life of a 4-year-old boy who on Friday morning fell from a 17th-floor balcony at the Doubletree Grand Hotel, Miami police said. The boy, whose name was not released by authorities, somehow climbed over a covered balcony railing, bounced off a palm tree and safely landed on the "dirt surface" of an area surrounding the hotel's 10th-floor pool, said Kenia Reyes, a Miami police spokeswoman.
"[He] doesn't appear to have broken a bone," said Reyes, who said the boy was taken to Jackson Memorial Hospital for observation.

Lt. Ignatius Carroll, a spokesman for Miami Fire Rescue, was equally astonished the boy had survived the fall, saying the boy may have fallen 70 to 80 feet. He said he has seen people die from falls of 30 feet.
Woman Feigns Rape To Avoid Traffic Ticket
A British woman admitted to inventing a story of a rape to avoid being charged with offenses related to crashing her boyfriend's car without insurance, [pleading] guilty in Coventry Magistrates Court to wasteful employment of police time, using a vehicle without insurance and failing to stop after an accident, the Daily Mail reported Tuesday.

Prosecutors said she took her boyfriend's car, which she was not insured to drive, without his permission and crashed into two parked cars in Canley. They said she ran to a nearby house and concocted a story of being dragged from the car by two men and raped in an alleyway.

Police said Hunter's story wasted 15 hours of their time and caused panic in the neighborhood, where residents believed rapists were at large.
Nuns Questioned For Acre Of Pot Grown At Convent
Police in Uganda said they are investigating the origins and purpose of a huge marijuana crop found in the garden of a convent. Masaka district police officials said investigators discovered a marijuana plantation covering an entire acre of land in the gardens of the convent.

Southern regional commander Emmanuel Muhuirwe said two porters were arrested and released on bail pending charges while two nuns were questioned but not arrested.

One of the nuns was quoted as saying the marijuana was used as a health treatment for the convent's pigs and other farm animals.


Weird News - Michelle Kwan
Michelle Kwan 2003 Worlds [sic] Page

One second, just let me just get out my angelfire celebrity fanpage checklist here...OK ready.

  • Pink centered text on a hot pink background? Check
  • Hundreds of animated gifs? Check
  • Huge imposing ads which dwarf everything else on page? Check
  • Hit counter at bottom to reinforce the futility of it all? Check.
  • Comprised solely of links to long dead one-off news stories, mindless quotations and blurry associated press photos of the celebrity including one in which they are apparently being berated by a late 80s Russel Crowe? Quintuple check!
Weird News - Russel Crowe

I love you Angelfire.



Dan Brown - The Lost Symbol
Weird News - All Caps Customer Review
Weird News - All Caps Customer Review
Weird News - All Caps Customer Review


Popular Mechanics Reviews As-Seen-On-TV Products

10 Coolest Rollercoasters Ever
12 Weirdest Things Ever Sold for Money

Drug Smuggling Submarines

So ends another week. I hope you are satisfied with the way things turned out.

Long live the king.