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Oh, hello there. I didn't hear you come in. Stick around, it's perfectly alright. I was just finishing up an article I intend to publish on the internet. It's mostly just a collection of links to news stories and articles I...was...hey, what're you doing? Oh my god, what the hell is that!? Oh my god. Oh my god! No! No! AUUGGHH! Help! Somebody help me! NRRGkerIJ IASD67ng,uj.

This week's top stories: Ingenious Bank Robberies Gone Wrong, Near-Death Experiences 'Splained By Science, What We Can Learn From Cinematic Time-Travellers, Why Media Piracy Is Worse Than Murder, Hip-Hop Lyrics Dissected By An Intelligent Man, The Perils Of Bestiality, And The Wittiest Comebacks Of All Time.

HERE BE LINKS

Chart It Up Son: Time Travel Lessons Gleaned From Popular Films [Wired]

Do You
Have The Eye Color Of A "Commoner"? Find Out By Reading This Article (Which Appears To Be About About Eye Color) [BaileyBear]

Attention
Criminals: Here Is A Fantastic Idea For A Bank Robbery [ArsTechnica]

The
Science Behind Near-Death Experiences [StraightDope]

Sage
Francis Disects The Lyrics Of 10 Popular Rappers, Because Why Wouldn't He? [Pigeons&Planes]

Viacom
So Devastated By Media Piracy That Their CEO Only Gets A $50 Million
Dollar Raise [ArsTechnica]

Are
Child Molesters Really The Most Hated People In Prison? [Slate]


Depressing Infographic Ranking Countries By Income Inequality. But at
Least We Beat Rwanda. Suck it Rwanda! [InformationIsBeautiful]


Be Careful Where You Stick That Thing: Sex With Animals Linked To
Penile Cancer [Livescience]

 
The
World Be Crowded, Yo: Here  Is A Mesmerizing Gallery On
Overpopulation [TheAtlantic]


The Jerk Store Called, And They're Running Out Of You: The 32 Wittiest
Comebacks Of All Time [Buzzfeed]


Notice: This Periodic Table Of Weaponry Exists And Can Be Accessed With
The Internet

Ever
Wanted To Know Which Products Are Shoplifted The Most? Then Click
On These Here Words [RetailResearch]

I
Can't Believe Disney Didn't Include Pinoccho's Graphic Death By Hanging
In Their Adaptation [Slate]

Does
Being Out In The Cold Actually "Make You Sick"? [Reddit]

10
Common Faults In Human Thought [Listverse]

Organ
Gangs Force The Poor to Sell Kidneys (Seriously?) [Bloomberg]

DOT DOT DOT EXCLAMATION POINT QUESTION MARK

INEXPLICABLE ALL-CAPS REVIEW

Dangerous
Minds [VHS]

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