Image removed.A
haphazard collection of cool links, weird news stories, and random
crap exhumed from all corners of the internet.
This week: Drug Addled Men Attacked By Drug Clowns, Ancient PC
Advertisements, Prosthetic Leg Fires, Tomato Sauce Drownings, Murderous
Apes, & The Periodic Table of Swearing.



Man Believed Clowns Were Attacking Home

Police responded early Friday to a call of shots fired at a
home in
Roberts and found a man apparently hallucinating an attack by clowns.
The 40-year-old man, armed with a shotgun, had fired several shots in
his mother's home. It also appeared that he fired a shot at his mother
and visiting father as they fled from the home in a vehicle, said St.
Croix County Sheriff Dennis Hillstead.

Police arrived about 4 a.m. and surrounded the home. The man came to
the door at one point and was "yelling at what he could see in the
yard, but there was nothing there," Hillstead said. The man went back
into the home and fired more rounds, Hillstead said. In total, about 22
shotgun rounds were fired into the walls and ceiling of the home.
The man then went to the porch with the shotgun in hand and a bag of
ammunition around his neck. He did not respond to police commands, but
after the man slipped and fell, deputies were able to take him into
custody, Hillstead said.

[The man] indicated he had taken a hallucinogenic drug. He said he
believed that people dressed as clowns were attacking his mother's home
and that he had shot and killed a number of them.

Leg Set Aflame Over Drinking Bet

A 47-year-old man's friends set his prosthetic leg on fire
after he
lost a drinking bet, causing him to suffer severe burns to his buttocks
and lower back. Dona Ana County sheriff's deputies found the man naked
on the side of U.S. Route 70 with his prosthetic leg in flames.
Deputies learned that the man and his friends were drinking Monday and
bet that whoever drank the least would be set on fire.

The man told investigators that at six beers, he drank the least, and
agreed to let his friends set him on fire.

He said his friends ignited his prosthetic leg, and the flames spread
to his body. 

Elderly Robber Is Pretty Awesome

New York police said a geriatric robber with a cane and an
oxygen tank
fired three shots at a clothing store before fleeing empty handed.
Police sources told the New York Post the man, believed to be in his
70s, announced a stickup at 9 p.m. Friday at high-end clothing store
Sarar and fired off a round at a fleeing customer [and] two rounds at
the manager.

"You want one? You want another one?" the sources quoted the man as

The suspect fled in a [huge] black Cadillac, police said.

Student Sues Idiot Lawyer For Being An Idiot

Texas law student who took a defense lawyer's $1 million
challenge from
a "Dateline NBC" interview is suing for the money he claims he is owed.
Dustin Kolodziej of the San Antonio area said attorney James Mason
offered in a "Dateline NBC" interview he would pay $1 million to anyone
who could prove him wrong in claiming his client, Nelson Serrano, could
have made it from Florida's Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport to
the La Quinta Inn, a 3-mile distance, in under 28 minutes, The Atlanta
Journal-Constitution reported Monday.

"I challenge anybody to show me. I'll pay them a million dollars if
they can do it," Mason told the interview.

Kolodziej said he got off a plane at the airport, took his car from the
parking garage and made it to the inn in just 19 minutes, capturing the
whole experience on a camcorder. However, Mason refused to pay the $1
million reward, claiming the offer was a figure of speech.

Factory Workers Drown In Vat Of Tomato Sauce

Six workers drowned after falling into a giant vat of
tomato sauce at a
factory in India, the Indian Express reported. The horrifying incident
unfolded Wednesday evening when a female worker slipped and fell into
the 6m deep tank. As five colleagues dived in to grab her they were all
overcome by fumes given off from fermenting vegetables and drowned, the
newspaper said.

Two more workers were in a hospital following the tragic incident at
the Akansha Food Products unit in Lucknow, in the Uttar Pradesh region
of northeastern India.

The factory owner was taken into custody, the Indian Express said.

Crippled Monkey Murders Chickens

A Chinese man who saved a one-armed, one-legged monkey says
the primate
has paid him back - by killing all of his chickens. Li Chun, from
Menghai village, Yunnan province, says the monkey has become a member
of his family since he nursed it back to health. He found the monkey's
right arm and left leg were rotten and took it home where he cut off
the decayed limbs and gave it anti-inflammatory medication.

It has become to devoted to the family and performs many chores around
the home - but it also copies everything Li does. When it saw him crack
some eggs to make a meal it went into the hen coop and smashed all of
the eggs it could find. And when Li slaughtered a chicken, the monkey
copied him and has since killed about 80 chickens, reports the
Chuncheng Evening Post.

"From then on, whenever it's not occupied, it jumps into the chicken
pen, and kills the chickens, no matter how big or small, and tries to
pluck them," said Li.

"His record is nine chickens in one day. The lesson I have learned is
to never slaughter a chicken in front of a monkey."


The Periodic Table Of Swearing
Cellphone Autocorrect Goes Wrong

Old & Awesome PC Ads

Of An English Opium Eater (Full Book)

What Can Billions Buy You?

Reasonably Detailed History Of The Mullet

Last Words Throughout History

Showing Who Voices Who on The Simpsons

An Empire Built On Murder, Rape, Kidnapping, Torture, And
Paramilitary Mercenaries?

Designer Sunglasses Are A Kind Of A Ripoff

Borderline Incomprehensible: A Mathematical Theory For Visual





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