Web Detritus #156: A Fistula Full Of Dollars

Horse Horsey With Ribbons Over Face
What follows is a 6-8 weeks worth of Internet which has been quintuple filtered through my Citalopram-addled brain and arranged in list form for your perusal. Each link comes highly recommended by me, but these recommendations should be taken with several mountains of salt, as I am afflicted with a severe case of narcissistic personality disorder which renders me almost completely incapable of predicting what People Who Are Not Me will find interesting, funny, or useful.

Nevertheless: Here's some of what I've dug up this time around: Suicidal Animals, What The Muppets Learned From Softcore Porn, Amusing Hatecrimes, Movie Poster Cliches, Non-Heroic Soldiers, Stoned Driving vs Drunk Driving, The Inherent Uselessness Of Creativity, Child Psychopaths, and Funcoland Training Videos Which Will Likely Make You Question The Existence Of God.


 

THESE ARE LINKS


Life Without Porpoise: Do Animals Commit Suicide? [Slate]


Should Psychopathic 9-Year-Olds Be Considered Psychopaths? [NYTimes]


Canine Ennui: First World Dog Problems [HudsonHongo]


Unsettling Splitscreen Genetic Portraits


Creativity Is All But Worthless Without Years Of Hard Work & Practice [JeffVogel]


The Act Of Joining The Military Does Not Automatically Make One A Hero [TomsDispatch]


That "Mahna Mahna" Song From The Muppets Was Taken From An Italian Softcore Porn Movie [Slate]


73-Year-Old Man With "Memento-esque" Amnesia (Memory Span of Only 10 Seconds) Can Still Conduct/Perform Music [BBC]


These Old Funcoland Training Videos Should Hasten Your Descent Into Madness [RadUniverse]


Entirely Accurate Scripture-Based Lego Bible Pulled From Sam's Club Shelves For Being "Too Racy" [CNET]


Regardless Of What Some Batty Old Dame Might Tell You: We Don't Actually Lose Most Of Our Heat Through Our Heads [WebMD]


"Creativity" In Advertising: Enormous Gallery of Movie Poster Tropes & Cliches


Could You Forgive The Man Who Shot You In The Face? [DMagazine]

 
Try To Contain Your Excitement At This Chart Which Reveals The Estimated Net Worth Of All Members Of Congress [USAToday]


Hate Farmers? Buy Your Produce From Walmart! [Reddit]


Pissed Pants, Severed Arms, & Broken Spines: A Look Back At The Most Dangerous Workplace In Modern America [NYTimes]


Which Is Less Dangerous, Driving Drunk Or Driving Stoned? [Slate]


7 [Hilariously] Arrested On Hate Crime Charges In [Awesome] Amish Hair-Cutting Case [USAToday]



BEHOLD THE AMAZING BULK





INEXPLICABLE ALL-CAPS CUSTOMER REVIEW

Walker: Texas Ranger: The Final Season
All Caps Review Walker Texas Ranger



RELATIVELY HIGH QUALITY PRODUCTS I APPROVE OF THE CONTINUED EXISTENCE OF*



*Disclaimer: This is not an auto-generated ad. If a product appears in this section, it will be because I have personally used it and found it not to be shit. If you buy anything from Amazon after clicking one of these links, I get a bit of money, which I will then use to pay for hosting the low-budget website you see around you. Therefore: Those who do not wish to support my shoddy work are advised against purchasing these items.