Horse Horsey With Ribbons Over Face

What follows is a 6-8 weeks worth of Internet which has been quintuple
filtered through my Citalopram-addled brain and arranged in list form
for your perusal. Each link comes highly recommended by me, but these
recommendations should be taken with several mountains of salt, as I am
afflicted with a severe case of narcissistic personality disorder which
renders me almost completely incapable of predicting what People Who
Are Not Me will find interesting, funny, or useful.

Nevertheless: Here's some of what I've dug up this time around:
Suicidal Animals, What The Muppets Learned From Softcore Porn, Amusing
Hatecrimes, Movie Poster Cliches, Non-Heroic Soldiers, Stoned Driving
vs Drunk Driving, The Inherent Uselessness Of Creativity, Child
Psychopaths, and Funcoland Training Videos Which Will Likely Make You
Question The Existence Of God.

 

THESE ARE LINKS

Life
Without Porpoise: Do Animals Commit Suicide? [Slate]

Should
Psychopathic 9-Year-Olds Be Considered Psychopaths? [NYTimes]

Canine
Ennui: First World Dog Problems [HudsonHongo]

Unsettling
Splitscreen Genetic Portraits

Creativity
Is All But Worthless Without Years Of Hard Work & Practice
[JeffVogel]

The
Act Of Joining The Military Does Not Automatically Make One A Hero
[TomsDispatch]

That
"Mahna Mahna" Song From The Muppets Was Taken From An Italian Softcore
Porn Movie [Slate]

73-Year-Old
Man With "Memento-esque" Amnesia (Memory Span of Only 10 Seconds) Can
Still Conduct/Perform Music [BBC]

These Old Funcoland
Training Videos Should Hasten Your Descent Into Madness [RadUniverse]

Entirely
Accurate Scripture-Based Lego Bible Pulled From Sam's Club Shelves For
Being "Too Racy" [CNET]

Regardless
Of What Some Batty Old Dame Might Tell You: We Don't Actually Lose Most
Of Our Heat Through Our Heads [WebMD]

"Creativity" In Advertising:
Enormous Gallery of Movie Poster Tropes & Cliches

Could
You Forgive The Man Who Shot You In The Face? [DMagazine]

 
Try
To Contain Your Excitement At This Chart Which Reveals The Estimated
Net Worth Of All Members Of Congress [USAToday]

Hate
Farmers? Buy Your Produce From Walmart! [Reddit]

Pissed
Pants, Severed Arms, & Broken Spines: A Look Back At The Most
Dangerous Workplace In Modern America [NYTimes]

Which
Is Less Dangerous, Driving Drunk Or Driving Stoned? [Slate]

7
[Hilariously] Arrested On Hate Crime Charges In [Awesome] Amish
Hair-Cutting Case [USAToday]

BEHOLD THE AMAZING BULK

INEXPLICABLE ALL-CAPS CUSTOMER REVIEW


Walker: Texas Ranger: The Final Season

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RELATIVELY HIGH QUALITY PRODUCTS I APPROVE OF THE CONTINUED
EXISTENCE OF*

*Disclaimer: This is not an auto-generated ad. If a product
appears in
this section, it will be because I have personally used it and found it
not to be shit. If you buy anything from Amazon after clicking one of
these links, I get a bit of money, which I will then use to pay for
hosting the low-budget website you see around you. Therefore: Those who
do not wish to support my shoddy work are advised against purchasing
these items.