NERDS

20 Costumed Humans Upon Whom I Am Not Passing Judgement

20 Costumed Humans Upon Whom I Am Not Passing Judgement - Triple Threat
Having recently experienced a Spiritual Awakening, I have found it increasingly unnecessary for me to judge other human beings based solely upon their appearance. How many years have I wasted making cruel observations about others? Statements such as "Nice leopard-print Zubaz", "What kind of a jackass wears a fedora?", or even "That young woman should abstain from wearing spandex leggings due to the fact that they cause her large, pendulous buttcheeks to resemble two trash bags full of cottage cheese" had begun to characterize my life.
 
But no longer. Having learned the folly of my ways, I am filled with love for all creatures in the universe, I have realized the folly of my judgmental ways. Now I know that it is enough for a person to simply exist. Whether they be clothed in semen stained jorts, an ill-fitting Dragon Tales costume, or a hat which simply says the F-Word, there is nothing more beautiful than a living, breathing, human being.

So without further ado: Here are twenty photographs of people who happened to be photographed wearing costumes.

The Casually Dismissive Guide To LAN Parties

The Casually Dismissive Guide To LAN Parties
In case you haven't noticed, LAN (Local Area Network) parties have becoming increasing popular in recent years. And by "increasingly popular" I mean "substantially less popular due to the fact that they are quickly becoming pointless and redundant alongside the proliferation of high-speed internet".

So I guess I'll write a guide about them?

20 More Photographs Of Terrible Cosplayers

20 More Photographs Of Terrible Cosplayers
Upon seeing a gallery such as this, the average person could be forgiven for dismissing it as nothing more than a random assemblage of stupid photos which I have slapped together in a half-assed attempt to avoid writing an actual article. In all fairness to me, this is only partially true.
 
Certainly "getting out of actually writing something" was my intention AT FIRST, but I quickly discovered how gruelling "sifting through thousands of pages of dull cosplay photos featuring androgynous Japanese preteens to find the 0.0001% of them which are sad/inventive/stupid enough to be worthy of ridicule" actually is.
 
So in the end, creating one of these stupid galleries is actually just as much (if not more) work than writing a deliberately insulting article about one of the 50 US states, so I hope you all appreciate it.

How To Subdue a Nerd Who Has Flown Into a Violent, Videogame-Induced Rage

How To Subdue a Nerd Who Has Flown Into A Violent Videogame Based Rage
It is still not uncommon for the general public to assume that all videogamers are socially inept losers prone to uncontrollable outbursts of intense and inexplicable violence. This is incorrect. In reality, only 65-72% of males who play videogames on a regular basis fit this description, so obviously it's slightly unfair to generalize.

Also, this really only applies to these men while they're playing games. The rest of the time, they're normally quite calm (if not downright docile). But place any one of these gamers in a situation where they believe themselves to have been "wronged" or "cheated" during a game, and a whirlwind of grisly violence is sure to ensue. Very rarely will this tantrum seemed to have "come out of nowhere". More often than not there is an easily perceived buildup of hostility which takes place before The Ragestate occurs.

This article should serve to educate the rest of you in the recognition (and subsequent containment) of any videogamer who flies into this ragestate.

20 (More) Daring & Beautiful Cosplayers

20 More Desperately Beautiful Cosplayers
One day I'm going to run out of photos of nerds dressed in ridiculous costumes.

That day is not today.

Gonna ride this train all the way to hell.

The Largely Inaccurate PC Troubleshooting Advice Column

 PC Troubleshooting Advice Column
Computers don't always work the way we want them to, so from time to time I like to spend a few moments answering a few of the many tech-support questions I receive from readers. Why they choose me, a complete stranger who runs a website entirely unrelated to computer support and has heretofore expressed neither the willingness nor the ability to answer any technological questions, I do not know. But this does little to change that these people need help, and I'll be goddamned if I leave them out in the cold just because of their stubborn refusal to adhere to logic.
 
So this week I'll be helping readers out with a few of their basic computer-related questions. You're welcome!

20 Shameless Cosplayers to Frighten & Amuse You

20 Shameless Cosplayers to Frighten & Amuse You
Cosplay can be defined loosely as the ancient Japanese art of dressing up as shitty characters from animated shows enjoyed predominately by 12 year old Japaneses children and various adults with far too little (or far too much) self-respect. When cosplay goes well, it is easy to ignore. But when it goes wrong, it goes very wrong, much to the horrified delight of anyone who happens to view it. In this respect, the cosplayer is much like a prolapsed rectum. I won't explain precisely why, but let's just say it's hard to resist looking up photos of either on the internet and leave it at that.

Here are twenty in their natural habitat (cosplayers, that is, not rectums. I'm saving those pictures for next year's Easter post).

5 Phrases Nerds Should Really Stop Using

  Nerds Stop Saying
As far as I'm concerned, the term "Nerd" has been rendered all but meaningless. I wouldn't use it at all, except I'm not sure how else I'm supposed to describe people who play World of Warcraft for 33 hours straight while listening to a single Dragonforce song on repeat, or who will say "lawl" out loud without a hint of hesitation or self-consciousness. So let's just say I'm updating Nerd for the 21st century. Now, instead of pocket protectors, glasses, and Dungeons & Dragons, Nerd signifies an unreasonable love of anime, horrifyingly frequent postings on message boards, and a complete and utter lack of anything resembling originality.
 
These are the social cripples, the sniveling masturbators. Rejected (some would say rightly so) by their schoolyard peers, they have sought refuge amongst the similarly-damaged youths who make up the online collective. Here, they are given the opportunity to climb a reverse social ladder, one in which the individual is not rewarded for attractiveness, physical prowess, cleverness, or the ability to abstain from using racial slurs, but rather by Time Spent Grinding, Posts Per Hour, and (most relevant to this article) The Ability to Deliberately Mimic The Deliriously Annoying & Repetitive Patterns of Speech Favored By One's Online Peers. Which is to say: There are far too many internet nerds perpetuating rock-stupid verbal memes.
 
Below are a few common nerdly phrases which--when used--cause me to become unreasonably upset.

Ridiculous Costume Roundup: Nerds...Such Beauty!

Jedi Woman
Montage of images displaying various styles of nerd (with musical accompaniment). What more could you ask for?

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