RIDICULOUS COSTUME ROUNDUP

20 Endearingly Bizarre Costume Photos To Give You Sweet Nightmares

Homeless Chewy
Sure, maybe I like to make fun of bad costumes from time to time, but I'm no bully. So that's why I'm gonna try to be extra nice when I write the captions for these clunky and unsettling pictures I found on the website of What Appears To Be A Small Rental Center In Virginia.
 
Honestly I think that's all the explaining I need to do. So join us, won't you? Thank you.

20 Absurd Costumes To Fill Your Cold Heart With Joy

20 Random Costumes You Can Buy
A good online writer will use an introductory paragraph like this one to give readers a brief overview of what the attached article is about in an entertaining fashion. This encourages "click throughs" to the main text, and ensures that the article gets as many pageviews (and therefore generates as much advertising revenue) as possible.
 
It should be obvious that the text you are reading right now is an example of an extremely poor introductory paragraph. It is overlong, plainly written (yet not elegantly so), contains little to no useful information, and fails to make even the slightest attempt at capturing the interest of someone who may have stumbled across it accidentally. I suppose I could try to counteract some of this by begging you to continue reading ("Please, please, please, just scroll through and take a look! I've spent oh so much time and effort on this highly entertaining piece, it'd be a shame if you passed it up!"), but this is impossible, as it is not in my nature to lie.
 
If I wanted to I could backtrack, here, at the very last second, by cramming in some kind of half-assed segue linking this intro to the content below, but I think I'd derive far more satisfaction out of abruptly ending this sentence after implying that I was about to do so, so let's find out.*

20 Cosplayers Who Cause Me To Radiate Bewilderment To All Corners Of The Universe

Cosplayer Honda
There are two types of people in this world: Those Who Dress Up As Characters From Obscure Japanese Animated Television Shows, and Those Who Laugh At Those Who Dress Up As Characters From Obscure Japanese Animated Television Shows. I reside firmly in the latter category, although I must admit that I have likely dabbled in the former.
 
I only say this because I'm almost sure I dressed up in household objects and pretended to be Voltron at some point during my childhood. This is not nearly as embarassing as it may seem, because to be fair...I was probably about six years old when I liked Voltron. Also I was kind of a freak.
 
The following people, however, are adults, and thus cannot legally use "I was a six-year-old" to explain why they choose to dress up as characters from poorly written assemblyline cartoon shows from Japan which are comprised almost solely of people jumping though the air with swords and streaky lines behind them, gratuitous upskirt shots of bluehaired toddlers holding guns, and scenes in which goggle-eyed, helmeted futuresamurai gleefully violate women by backing futuristic maglev monorails in and out of their vaginas.
 
Anyway, you might as well take a look at these pictures. It's not like you have anything better to do.

20 Ambitiously Awful Halloween Costumes

20 Ambitiously Awful Halloween Costumes
Ah October: Cauldron's are bubbling, children are reveling in pumpkin viscera, and small painted box turtles are doing...uh...well, whatever is that turtles do in cold weather. What am I a Herpetologist, how the hell should I know? My point is that it is currently October and VARIOUS THINGS ARE HAPPENING.

But what is most important to me (and possibly you), is the thousandfold increase in sales of stupid costumes which occurs around this time of year. So as usual, I've dredged the internet and come up with 20 of the most ambitiously trashy costumes currently available.

20 More Spectacular Photographs Of Cosplayers

20 More Photographs Of Terrible Cosplayers
Upon seeing a gallery such as this, the average person could be forgiven for dismissing it as nothing more than a random assemblage of stupid photos which I have slapped together in a half-assed attempt to avoid writing an actual article. In all fairness to me, this is only partially true.
 
Certainly "getting out of actually writing something" was my intention AT FIRST, but I quickly discovered how gruelling "sifting through thousands of pages of dull cosplay photos featuring androgynous Japanese preteens to find the 0.0001% of them which are sad/inventive/stupid enough to be worthy of ridicule" actually is.
 
So in the end, creating one of these stupid galleries is actually just as much (if not more) work than writing a deliberately insulting article about one of the 50 US states, so I hope you all appreciate it.

20 Costumes With Which To Engender Fear In The Hearts Of Your Enemies

20 Costumes To Engender Fear In The Hearts Of Your Enemies
"Fear knocked at the door. Faith answered.
And lo, no one was there."
- Author Unknown


Rejoice: 20 More Ridiculous Costumes

Rejoice: 20 More Ridiculous Costumes
Awful Halloween costumes are like a wellspring of awfulness that never seems to run dry. Just when you feel like you've discovered all the ridiculous and borderline offensive costumes the internet has to offer, more are certain to come bubbling to the surface like solid waste in a freshly-stirred septic tank.
 
So here are twenty of the freshest and most ferociously terrible costumes I could drum up without expending much effort.

20 (More) Daring & Beautiful Cosplayers

20 More Desperately Beautiful Cosplayers
One day I'm going to run out of photos of nerds dressed in ridiculous costumes.

That day is not today.

Gonna ride this train all the way to hell.

20 COSTUMES FOR TOTAL ASSHOLES

Asshole Costume
Browsing the humor section of costume sites is undoubtedly the worst way to find a funny costume. Well, unless of course your definition of "funny" is somebody's creepy 52-year-old dad leering at the preteen neighborgirls' pool party through the slats of some half-closed vertical blinds while muttering a bunch of dick jokes from the Porky's 4 spec script he wrote in 1987. If this seems like your type of humor, then you'll probably find most of the costumes below to be pretty hilarious.
 
Although the majority of them are simple illustrations of groan-inducing almost-puns, there are also a few (such as "Big Balls Scratch Off" above) in which the designer has instead gotten creative and taken an ill-conceived "naughty" concept (in this case, the existence of testicles, tee-hee!) and combined it with some arbitrary item in order to make it into a shitty costume.
 
So look forward to that, I guess.
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