PARANORMAL

Ghosts, Monsters, Aliens, & The Occult

Worthless Guide to Monsters Part 2: Mummies

Mummy
By Henry
Have you ever gotten a chill when walking by a pharaoh’s tomb? This is likely caused by the spirit of a mummy. Mummies are ancient creatures which have been around for hundreds of years. Thousands of people have been killed by them. A few have even been captured and are now on display in museums across the globe. I recommend that you go view one or two (at your peril of course). If you don’t feel like heading into some musty old museum though, just read this article. You might just learn a thing or two about mummies.

Worthless Guide to Monsters Part 1.5: Werewolf Q&A

Wolfy
By The Baron
Werewolves are intriguing creatures, and like most other monsters there is a lot of misinformation floating around about them. Luckily I have been asked to shed some light on the subject in this series of monster Q&As, beginning with werewolves (also see the werewolf guide HERE). They have also asked world renowned "monster expert" Art Crumb to co-author these articles with me. Frankly, I'm a bit offended by this, as I have had personal experiences and actually seen nearly every type of monster before (including werewolves). Some of my close friends even refer to me as "The Beastmaster". Impressive, no?

Worthless Guide to Monsters Part 1: Werewolves

Werewolf
By Henry
Fear. Fear is the one and only thing which separates humans from beasts and inanimate objects. But what does man fear most? You guessed it: Monsters. In this series of articles we’ll travel through the human brain and learn the history of the most popular monsters in the world, hear evidence of their existence, and learn how to defeat them in combat.

Worthless Guide to Ghosts

Ghost
If you’ve ever visited a haunted house, you probably think you have a good idea of what ghosts are and what they're capable of. If this is the case, you're in for a rude awakening, because brother: Real-life ghostings have as much in common with carnival ghost houses as a composition book full of beastiality drawings has with a slightly newer composition book of a different color whose pages are not yet defiled with beastiality drawings. Which is to say: Not much.

So prepare to be scared senseless. Yes, even the most skeptical of skeptics will be chilled to the bone by the "scare-raising" scientific facts and scenarios contained herein. Oh, and before we begin, here's a word of advice: To get the full effect of this article, you should probably turn on some spooky-time ghost-time music to play in the background. I recommend using either one of those Halloween sound-effects tapes or the soundtrack to the smash-hit Shaquille O'Neil vehicle Kazaam. And lest you believe that's just some lame "kooky" ironic random pop-culture reference to a garbage movie: It isn't! The truth is that the idea of listening to Shaquille O’ Neil do some genie-based rapping never ceases to give me chills. You know, like...ghosts!

Swoosht! Basketball rim net jam! Game, set, and match. Now let's do this thing. 

Psychics Are Real! Why Doesn't Anyone Believe Me...

HypnotizeThe 5 senses: Touch, taste, fear, smell, and eyes. One would think that these were enough, but surprisingly, there are those who claim that there is also a sixth sense,  psychic ability. I am here to tell you today that not only does the sixth, but I possess it. I can read your thoughts. Observe: You want to know how to become a psychic, and so I will tell you. I also see that your star sign is Virgo or Aries and that you are in your mid 20’s, male, and slightly overweight. When you are murdered your body will be found in a wooded area, near a body of water. Cool huh? And now here is a list of all the psychic powers.

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