AUTOMOTIVE

6 Driving Myths Busted: Part 2!

Driving TipsBy Martin "The Baron" Hubley
Howdy folks, and welcome to part 2 of Spectacular Driving Facts. I'm The Baron, and I'll be your guide for the end of this journey across our highways.

Oh, and if you haven't checked out Part 1 of this series yet, you can mosey on over and check it out RIGHT HERE. But let's dig right in and get to the final three delicious driving tips I've got for you. Yumm!

6 Driving Myths: Busted (Spectacular!)

DrivingBy Martin "The Baron" Hubley
It's surprising to me how little most people actually know about cars. Everyone drives them, but it's rare for a person to pop the hood and gander at the green guts of these great beasts of the road. For example, the other day I was chatting with my friend XtricitY, and he made the outrageous claim that a souped-up honda civic could best a stock dodge viper in roadbattle. I set him straight (natch) but not before coming down with a gnarly headache, which was no doubt brought on by my friend's terrifying ignorance.
 
But I suppose you can't expect people to do their own scientific research in these troubled times of ours...I'm sorry to say that youtubes has overtaken the dictionary and thesaurus as the reference book for our generation. It's a sad state of affairds. But hey, you didn't come to hear me wax prophetic about the death of sneakernet, so let's get to some little known facts about cars! Verooom!

How To Not Know How To Fix Cars

Car RepairThere are many types of men. There are ingenious men, effeminate men, chessplaying men, steel-driving men, and men who play electric guitars. Some men wear derby hats and play pingpong, and others comb their filthy sideburns while whistling tunelessly. It's a hell of a thing.

I think my point is that it would be pointless to assign traits to ALL men, seeing as there are so many endless combinations of beliefs, abilities, and mental illnesses a single “man” can possess. But that doesn't stop people from trying: Men drive cars like this! Men love to fistfight! Men never ask for directions! Men eat corn chips! Men open cans of soup by heaving them at obstructions!  It's obscene. But anyway, now comes the part where I tell you about one of the manthings I don't know anything about: Fixing Cars.

How To Finance a New Car (Threatening Your Way to a Great APR)

This is Part 2 of something related to buying cars. I can't exactly remember what the actual title of it was so this will have to do. Part 1 is BACK HERE in case you missed it. We are now going to discuss financing. And because I can't exactly define this word without boring myself to death, let's just say it's the part where you pay for the car.

Advice Column: Cars Cars (Cars)

Cars fixedFrom time to time I like to use this website to help people out. What can I say, I'm a charitable person. Some people even call me "The Giver", believe it or not. One of the services I provide is this advice column. Unfortunately, hardly anyone reads this website, so I don’t get many emails.

It also probably doesn’t help that I never actually told anyone about this column, how it works, or how to participate. But no matter, I found a bunch of automotive questions on various internet forums and I’ll just answer those here instead.

How To Shop For a New Car

New CarBuying a new car can be a stressful experience, and people usually have plenty of questions about the process. How does negotiation work? Is the dealership trying to rip me off? Do I need rustproofing? What happens if I plow through a bustling outdoor marketplace on a test drive, killing dozens; isn’t the salesperson responsible?

 I’m sure you’re sitting there smugly mouthing the answers to these without even thinking about it, but you’d be surprised at how many of us can’t do that. Not everyone can be as great as you, you know. Jeez.

Top 10 Most Ridiculous Cars

Rich Jerk
By M. Anger
Cars. Everybody has them (except really poor people, children, and many people in cities) and everybody loves them (except me). But there are some cars which I hate more than others: The Hummer H2, Dodge Magnum, Chrysler 300, and Mercedes SLR McLaren. These are cars which bring great shame upon themselves and the people who purchase them. Read on for the top 10 most ridiculous cars of all time.

Editor's note: This article does not include 10 cars, only 4. Also, these cars are most certainly not the most ridiculous cars of all time. They are maybe some of the most ridiculous cars of 2004-2007. We apologize for any confusion this may have caused.

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