VIDEOGAMES

In 1997, the PC game Fallout was released. Its violently cynical godless worldview easily captivated hundreds of gaming atheists, and spawned numerous (and similarly detestable) sequels, the latest of which is entitled Fallout: New Vegas. In the article that follows, this reviewer will be taking a look at the world of New Vegas from a true Christian perspective. I'll detail each sin committed by the developers of the game in-depth, as well as offering some godly advice (and good old-fashioned biblical scholarship) along the way.
 
NOTICE: This review should not be viewed by women or children. The shocking and brutal nature of this game's source material made it nessecary for me to describe drug use, instances of blasphemy, and graphic descriptions of various sex acts in detail to give parents a better idea of what their children are getting into these days. Consider yourselves warned.

Looking through PC game new release lists lately, I'm puzzled by the apparent abundance of what I like to call "Monotonous Task Simulators". These games take the idea of Flight Simulator or Train Simulator (which, if you ask me, already push the boundaries of dullness) and develop similar games in which you perform jobs or activities which were not inherently interesting in the first place. So imagine a Carpet Sample Choosing Simulator, or an Ethnic Grocery Store Vandalism Simulator, or a or Being Forced To Reiterate The Point You Made Only Moments Before Because Nobody Was Listening Simulator.
 
OK, so obviously those aren't real games (yet), but with deathly serious titles like Fork-Lift Truck Simulator and Garbage Disposal Simulator being released frequently, it's not too far-fetched to assume that some day someone might develop a "Fail In Your Attempt to Make a Cat's Cradle To Impress a Rodeo Clown" Simulator. As insane as the idea might seem, I'm sure there'd be an audience for it somewhere.
 
But hey, here's a short list of five of the dullest/weirdest simulator games available today.

By Martin "The Baron" Hubley
Greetings all, from the lands of Dverz, Anthroes, and Hurans! For those of you who are wondering what the Sam Hell I'm talking about, it's the MMORPG Online Game I've been developing known as The Quest For Time. I know it's been quite some time since I've updated y'alls on the development, so I figured I'd throw a ripe, juicy bone into all my fans by sharing some new info on what I've been cooking up in the land of Valderanianaiae.
 
FAIR WARNING: Spoilders abound, so those of you who are planning to play the game on release might want to pass up this article, because I reveal key plot points in both the Elle Swamp questline and the Anthroe romance story! So consider yeselves warned!