Listen up: I sorted through a bunch more of the ridiculous and absurd customer complaints over at Complaintsboard and have compiled the most interesting ones here for your perusal.
Alright let's go!
A man held me down and gave me a rude facial and it hurt
HATE IT WHEN THAT HAPPENS
Ack! These new cigarettes are poisonous!
Excrement on the rail please to investigate
Oh stop whining
I see no reason to doubt the veracity of this claim
I am too old to learn any tricks yes
A Modern Rosa Parks
Thanks for the complaint we'll get right on it!