My weekly compilation of cool links, infographics, useful articles, and plenty of other strange and wonderful things I found on the internet this week.

In this episode: The Worst Commutes In The World, Death By New Car Smell, Loose Women Causing Natural Disasters, Things You Should Do Before Burning Down Your House,  The Least Evil Banks, and A Fucking Map Charting Swearing On Twitter.

If you work in an office with a communal refrigerator, there's a good chance that you (or someone you love) has been a victim of Lunch Theft. Those afflicted with Lunch Theft are often left feeling angry, depressed, hopeless, and even--somewhat bewilderingly--sexually violated. But it is important for victims of Lunch Theft to remember that they are not alone. In fact, it is estimated by the Federated Association of The National Council of Meat that sixteen out of ever hundred office lunches is eaten (without permission) by someone other than the rightful owner of the lunch.

As law enforcement is little help when it comes to "some guy eating another guy's pizza rolls", victims of lunchcrime are left with two choices:

A. Starve to death

B. Seek revenge against those who have wronged them by spiking food with various substances and leaving it in the fridge as "bait".

I'll just say straight away that if you came here looking for a guide on how to starve to death, you're going to be sorely disappointed. But if, on the other hand, you were looking strictly for information related to the poisoning of lunch-theving coworkers, I think you'll be pleased with the list I've compiled here.

A weekly collection of cool links, interesting infographics, awful videos, and plenty of other stuff.

This time around: Why Horoscopes Are Bullshit, Reformed White Supremacists, Gruesome Retro Russian Safety Posters, Terribly Terrible Inventions, The Public Access Battle Hymn Of Sarah Palin, & Some Guy Does Freaky Self-Portraits While On Drugs.

Whether you believe it in or not, there's really no denying that The Bible contains some of the most amusingly vulgar material ever committed to paper.
 
And while I've probably already covered "The Worst Of The Worst" (e.g. gang rape, unholy semen spillage, father-daughter incest, etc) in Part 1 Of My Biblical Filth Series, there are still a couple more--let's call them "tawdry"--passages I'd like to share with people who might not have actually read The Bible (you know, like most Christians?).
 
So here are five more crude and/or offensive Bible stories you may not have heard of.

My weekly collection of awesome links, awesome news stories, awesome photo galleries, awesome videos, and a ton of other awesome stuff which is so awesome you will probably soil yourself due to the awesomeness of it all. Or something.
 
This week: Ugly Women vs Cute Women, Terrifying Sleep Disorders, Something About Mushrooms, How To Flirt Properly, Moronic Supreme Court Judges, and [One Of] The Reasons Why You Should Never, Ever, Live In Mississippi. 

Recently I performed a search on the internet for "The Alphabet Of Swearing", as I wished (for whatever idiotic reason) to find a list of curse words beginning with each letter of the alphabet. Shockingly enough, aside from a couple of somewhat carelessly assembled "Yahoo Answers" replies and an article or two from blogs even shoddier than this one, I came up completely emptyhanded.
 
"How was this possible?" I said to myself, "Surely someone out must have taken the time to compile a true list of swear words for every letter of the alphabet." But alas, this was not the case. I quickly realized that if I wanted such a list to exist, I would have to create it for myself.

So I did, and here it is.

A collection of fascinating links, cool infographics, amazing articles, and a whole lot of other neat stuff which happens to currently exist.
 
This week: Chinese Pringles, A $100 Bill, Shockingly Crooked Cops, The Joys Of Unemployment, Shamelessly Shameless False Advertising, The Internet After You're Dead, Generic Dr. Pepper Cans, & Why Texting Will Destroy The Known Universe.

When it comes to awful environmental superheroes, there few lamer than Captain Planet. If you have to ask why this is the case, I can only assume you're not too familiar with Captain Planet, because let me tell you: Dude has got some obvious issues.

But I think my favorite thing about Captain Planet is the ease with which he can ridiculed. For indeed, so lame is he, that one does not even need to actively "make fun" of him or his show, because simply listing various facts about him is enough to send most people into fits of derisive laughter. This makes it extremely easy for a writer as lazy as I am to craft a decent article about him, which I do appreciate a great deal.
 
So here are just eight (of the oh so many) reasons that Captain Planet is the crappiest, lamest, most utterly worthless "superhero" ever.

Apparently it's supposed to be the beginning of a new year or something, so I figured now is as good a time as any to get rid of all the excess photos I gathered throughout 2010 and never used due to the fact that they were too abstract and/or stupid because seriously how the hell was I ever supposed to fit a picture of a guy chewing on a large board (see below) into an article?

Also, I have no sources for any of these images, so if one of these pictures "belongs" to you and you feel like you want to be credited for it, send me a vaguely threatening email about it and I'll try to sort it out.

But for now: Some pictures of things.

A haphazard collection of cool links, interesting infographics, upsetting videos, and a whole lot of other random crap from all corners of the internet.
 
This week: Enraged Children Shouting, The Successful 10 Year Decriminalization of Drugs, How To Debate A Christian, The Best Charities In America, Bad Science In Sci-Fi Movies, Scratch-Off Parking Tickets, and 50 Fascinating (If Useless) Facts You Probably Did Not Know.

Obviously there are plenty of misconceptions out there about Manga, but this is certainly not uncommon amongst the higher arts. In fact, when Opera first came on the scene in the early 1600s, it faced many the same criticisms that manga currently does: "Oh, I can't understand what is happening," "Why is this so violent?" "Why does every woman have a huge chest?" "Is it entirely necessary to to portray child rape so graphically?" and on and on and on.
 
What these manga detractors fail to understand is that, like opera, manga is simply ahead of its time. It seems clear to me that those who hate manga are simply too boorish and uncivilized to appreciate such a sophisticated art form.
 
But enough of this. I've already given these detractors more time than they deserve. Let's get on with the questions!

I've always been a huge fan of Slate.com's "Explainer" Series. Its purpose is simple: To answer (sometimes unasked) questions about various issues that come up in the news or everyday life. These questions run the gamut from basic trivia questions ("When Did Prisoners Start Dressing In Orange"), to the taboo or obscene ("What would happen if you snorted cremated remains", "Are Both Father And [Adult] Daughter Culpable In Cases Of Incest?") questions you've probably never allowed yourself to consider.
 
Of course, The Vast Archive Containing Hundreds Upon Hundreds Of These Questions is available for your perusal (and I encourage you to do so), but just in case you don't feel like spending all that time, I've compiled a list of 30 of the best ones here (without permission, naturally).
 
And if you think linking to a bunch of articles I didn't have anything to do with is just a cheap way of getting out of having to write anything: Congratulations, you are right. Welcome to the internet.

A hastily-assembled collection of interesting links, cool infographics, top 10 lists, bewildering videos, and much more.
 
This week: The Non Existence Of A Creator, Hippo Autopsies, Handy Sniper Tips, The Strangely Coherent Wisdom Of Pat Robertson, Misconceptions About Islam, Lying About Church, And Plenty Of Drugs, Drugs, Drugs.

Having recently "reconnected" with many former highschool classmates online has led me to make a shocking discovery: Many of them appear to have chosen to have children. While I understand that the occasional "slip-up" can (and most certainly does) occur, the idea that two intelligent adults would conceive a child deliberately is beyond my comprehension.
 
The only logical explanation I can come up with is that people who have children purposefully must be mentally deranged in some fashion. For truly, what possible reason could a rational human being have for sacrificing eighteen years of freedom, privacy, financial security, and any semblance of a social life for a few fleeting moments of narcissistic parental ecstasy, aside from full-on gibbering madness? I definitely can't think of any.
 
But hey, I'm not supposed to be discussing the pros and cons of parenting, I'm supposed to be posting a FAQ on how to be a hugely irresponsible one.
 
So here. Here it is. I hope you're satisfied.

The Christmas season has arrived once again, and we all know what that means...new gaming PCs! As you may well know, providing free tech support to those in need has always been a favorite pastime of mine, and seeing as my love of electronic devices is second only to my distrust of information published by the secular newsmedia, I figured, heck: What better way to celebrate this season of giving and receiving than by sliding a thick, bulging tube of good old-fashioned PC advice into the gaping orifice of your souls!
 
Why a Christian guide to computer assembly? It's fairly simple: While there are plenty of humanist PC how-to guides out there, these are little use to those of us who believe that Christ will soon return and rain fiery vengeance down upon all the blasphemers, homosexuals, and non-catholic pedophiles of the world, thus cleansing these hedonistic lands of sin once and for all. We Christians prefer to take advice from those who share our worldview, that way we can ensure we are doing things in the godliest way possible.
 
So I hope you will join me as I take an overtly religious look at the wonderful world of do-it-yourself personal computering.

A weekly collection of cool articles, fascinating links, ridiculous videos, and a whole bunch of other random internet stuff I felt like shoving in here.
 
This time around: How Illegal Drugs Can Help You, Why Most TV Specs Are Complete Bullshit, The Longest Word In The English Language, A Video Which Will Blow Your Mind, Why Solitary Confinement Is Worse Than Torture, The Coolest Confidence Tricks & Scams, and An Awesome underground Bunker I Wish I Lived In.

A recent Gallup pool found that a full 78% of Americans, upon hearing someone use the phrase "Let's Touch Base", are overcome by a nearly uncontrollable urge to grit their teeth, wrap their fingers around the speaker's neck, and squeeze until they hear the wet, satisfying pop which signifies a crushed trachea.
 
And who can blame them? The absurd language of "business" has no place within a civilized society such as ours. In fact, I might even go so far as to say that a brutal, fully-conscious strangulation may even be too merciful a punishment for those who willingly use terms like "Team Player" and "Think Outside The Box" without hint of shame or sarcasm.
 
But anyway, if you want to ensure you're not gonna be throttled to death by some guy who doesn't like you talking like a corporate tool, you should probably go ahead and check out this list of awful business terms which fill me with an impotent rage.

There are two types of people in this world: Those Who Dress Up As Characters From Obscure Japanese Animated Television Shows, and Those Who Laugh At Those Who Dress Up As Characters From Obscure Japanese Animated Television Shows. I reside firmly in the latter category, although I must admit that I have likely dabbled in the former.
 
I only say this because I'm almost sure I dressed up in household objects and pretended to be Voltron at some point during my childhood. This is not nearly as embarassing as it may seem, because to be fair...I was probably about six years old when I liked Voltron. Also I was kind of a freak.
 
The following people, however, are adults, and thus cannot legally use "I was a six-year-old" to explain why they choose to dress up as characters from poorly written assemblyline cartoon shows from Japan which are comprised almost solely of people jumping though the air with swords and streaky lines behind them, gratuitous upskirt shots of bluehaired toddlers holding guns, and scenes in which goggle-eyed, helmeted futuresamurai gleefully violate women by backing futuristic maglev monorails in and out of their vaginas.
 
Anyway, you might as well take a look at these pictures. It's not like you have anything better to do.