20 Images So Fantastic They Probably Could've Cured Polio Before Jonas Salk Did If They'd Been Around Back Then
It's 7AM and I haven't gone to bed yet, so to save time, I think I'm
just going to paste a user-submitted plot summary of the film Under
Siege 2: Dark Territory instead of writing an actual intro:
Casey Ryback is traveling with his niece on a train, which is
hijacked by terrorists. The terrorists need a moving headquarters, so
they can take over a satellite capable of vaporizing anything in its
path. The government can't stop them from destroying Washington and
also rupturing a nuclear reactor, killing millions. Casey Ryback uses
his Navy-Seal training to take out all of the terrorists in an
But enough of that. Here are some pictures of things.
people have hands. Some of them use these hands to pick up and
manipulate objects. The word “handheld” is used to describe feats such
But take a moment to imagine a world where nothing ever
became “handheld”. Couch Potatoes: Imagine that your television remote
was as large as a coffee table! Retail Cashiers: There are no portable
price scanners; enjoy typing the barcodes of all oversize items by
hand! Bestiality Aficionados: Good luck grasping your favorite horse’s
genitals! But thankfully the nightmare of “no handhelds” never came to
We live a life of handhelds, and video game systems are no
exception. What follows is a guide to all your favorite portable game
consoles past and present. If you have any complaints, don’t forget you
aren’t paying for any of this.
Sure, maybe I like to make fun of bad costumes from time to time, but
I'm no bully. So that's why I'm gonna try to be extra nice when I write
the captions for these clunky and unsettling pictures I found on the
website of What
Appears To Be A Small Rental Center In Virginia.
Honestly I think that's all the explaining I need to do. So join us,
won't you? Thank you.
Recently, I performed an internet search for "Worst First Date Movies".
I did this because, at the time, I was interested in reading a list of
offensive or controversial films which might make for awkward
first-date viewing. Unfortunately, none of the articles I managed to
find fit this description.
Some were simply lists of mildly scary or violent horror films ("Don't
take your date to see Chuckie or The Grudge 2!"), others were filled
with blatantly obvious or borderline idiotic choices ("Deliverance!
Schindler's List! Kids! Caligula!"), and most of the rest appeared to
have been written by brain-damaged ESL students battling prescription
drug addictions ("Number 10: Aids disease is not become laughing. But
does your date? Potential.")
So seeing as none of these were particularly useful to me, I decided to
attempt to fill this void by creating
my own list of Bad First Date Movies. And while I can't promise you
quality, I can promise some measure of quantity. So there's
Oh, and also, I reveal nearly every single meaningful plot point in all
these films. So take that into account before you read this.
"Sloth makes all things difficult, but industry,
all things easy. He that rises late must trot all day, and shall scarce
overtake his business at night, while laziness travels so slowly that
poverty soon overtakes him."
Question: Is this simply a numbered list of leftover "B-Side"
fetishes from the Top
20 Weird Sexual Fetishes Article You Published A While Ago?
Answer: Sort of. This list does, in fact, contain the fetishes I
didn't have space for in the original article. It also contains many
fetishes which don't even exist. If you'd like to know why this is the
case, I'm afraid I can't help you. But I can tell you that some
of the fetishes below are probably real.
The answers are at the end, if you feel like cheating. Thank you, and