Monster Cables Rule!

 
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As a fully certified and 100% accredited A/V equipment Artificer, I've
always known deep in my heart that Monster Cables were an amazing
value. What I didn't realize is HOW amazing. I've conducted a
good deal
of research on home theatering during the many years that I've spent
serving my country as a technical videosystem and speaker wire
installer, but I had never looked into Monster Cables in-depth. That
is, until a year ago when I happened to come across Monster's premier
DVI cable with 24 Karat Gold Contact Connectors at a local Best Buy.
Needless to say, I was more than a little impressed! Gold is normally
quite expensive, but this cable was being sold for under $100! I
purchased three of them without hesitation.
 
I arrived home, hooked one up to my monitor, and turned it on. Upon
seeing what was on the screen, I nearly soiled myself with glee. Not
only was the image crystal clear, but my monitor was displaying more
colors than ever, colors I didn't even know existed! And not only that,
but my games and videos ran faster than ever. It was glorious. Ever
since that day, I haven't allowed anything BUT Monster Cables
in my
home. It was the best decision I ever made, and in the following
article I hope to share with you my reasons for this.

The Baron's Top 10 Movies of 2009

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By Martin "The Baron" Hubley
Image removed.Greetings and
salutations viewers! This is your old pal The Baron here, ringing in
the new year for one and all. I was thinking about the best way to
celebrate the fresh century and I came up with what I think is a pretty
darn fantastic idea: I would create a list of my favorite movies of
2009! So that's exactly what I did, I went through "fave films" section
my dream journal and picked out the rootinist, tootinist, shootinist
list of the greatest movies I had seen last in the old zero niner.
 
So grab a sack of butter and cover your heads, because Baron Marty's
about to drop some movie knowledge on yall's heads.

15 Puzzling Complaints From Stupid Customers

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I'm sure Complaintsboard.com
was originally intended to be a website where frustrated consumers
could go to report harmful or shady business practices of different
retailers, exposing them as frauds and possibly causing them to go out of
business.

Unfortunately, it isn't really working out that way. Complaintsboard is
less about consumer rights and more about semiliterate adults with
learning disabilities who believe a business has wronged them in some
petty way pecking out (usually IN CAPS) incomprehensible messages to
companies that will never, ever read them. Nothing useful is
accomplished, and no one is helped.

So yeah, it's pretty great!

Weird News & Links (Week of 01.03.10)

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This week's edition of Weird News should be useless to 99.99% of the
population, but extremely useful to the remaining 0.01%. Included
amongst that minority would be: Persons who are desperately seeking a
Kenny Rogers impersonator, fans of preteen early 00s rap superstar Lil'
Romeo, cops who have sex in church, and Christians who believe they
may be possessed by a demon.

How To Lose Weight (A Needlessly Insulting Guide)

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Guest Post From Celebrity Doctor Phil McGraw

Image removed.Howdy
folks, I'm Celebrity Doctor Phil McGraw, and I'm here to with
some tips to help ya'll lose some weight and keep it off for good.
Using my good old fashioned down-home country-living common-sense
approach to advice-giving, I'll make sure the lard drops off your ample
behinds just as sure as a coonhound at a rodeo loves eatin' truffles
out of a fountain during a superbowl sunday hootenanny.
 
But don't assume I'll coddle you. Don't assume I'm gonna be
"Politically Correct". You've read plenty of Mothering P.C. weight-loss
books and look what it's gotten you: A whole bowl full of nothing. What
you folks need is some good hard love. Some no-nonsense honest advice.
What you need is a heapin' spoonful of Phil.
 
And by God I intend to give it to you.

Weird News & Links (Week of 12.28.09)

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I would do something special in honor of this being the last week of
weird news in 2009, but I use the Mayan calendar so technically this
isn't even the new year for me. But on the bright side, I only have to
do about 2 more years of these until the world comes to an end, which
is nice.
 
Anyway: This week's post features horse grooming tips, walmart riots,
sexy Fast & The Furious fanfiction, and wholly capitalized musings
on thug
romance.

How To Burglar-Proof Your Home

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By
Martin "The Baron" Hubley

Image removed.How
would you feel if a criminal broke into your home, left with all your
belongings in a truck, and then beat up your entire family (including
the pets)? You would probably be pretty ticked off. But you shouldn't
be, because it was your own fault for not securing your home properly!
I don't blame robbers and murderers for what they do. Those who do
crimes are often poor minorities (chinese or polish people) who have a
hard life and a low-paying job. Simply put: They can't help but steal.
Riddle me this: Would you arrest a homeless black man who stole a rich
man's car to support his starving family? Of course you wouldn't, he
was only trying to survive.
 
But it is still a homeowner's right to protect his property! The key is
to make your house so secure that the burglar will go and burgle your
neighbor's home instead of your own. It might seem cold, but it's all
part of the game of life. So read on to see all the hot and juicy tips
I have for securing your home against invaders.
 
(Side note: You might notice a photo of a handsome fellow over there on
the left. That's me! It'll be showing up on each of the articles I
write for this site from now on, so look forward to it!)