Monster Cables Rule!

  Monster Cables Rule!
As a fully certified and 100% accredited A/V equipment Artificer, I've always known deep in my heart that Monster Cables were an amazing value. What I didn't realize is HOW amazing. I've conducted a good deal of research on home theatering during the many years that I've spent serving my country as a technical videosystem and speaker wire installer, but I had never looked into Monster Cables in-depth. That is, until a year ago when I happened to come across Monster's premier DVI cable with 24 Karat Gold Contact Connectors at a local Best Buy. Needless to say, I was more than a little impressed! Gold is normally quite expensive, but this cable was being sold for under $100! I purchased three of them without hesitation.
 
I arrived home, hooked one up to my monitor, and turned it on. Upon seeing what was on the screen, I nearly soiled myself with glee. Not only was the image crystal clear, but my monitor was displaying more colors than ever, colors I didn't even know existed! And not only that, but my games and videos ran faster than ever. It was glorious. Ever since that day, I haven't allowed anything BUT Monster Cables in my home. It was the best decision I ever made, and in the following article I hope to share with you my reasons for this.
 
Please note that I am NOT employed by Best Buy or Monster Cable. I am simply a man who is dedicated to ensuring that consumers purchase the best quality cables and accessories which are available to them. That those cables and accessories happen to be manufactured by Monster and sold almost exclusively by Best Buy incorporated is merely a happy coincidence.
 
 

Why Monster Cables?

Monster Cables Rule - Bentley This is the most common question I hear about Monster, and I have to say it upsets me. Why not apply this same formula to other luxury items: Why buy a Ferrari? Why get room service at the world renowned Plaza Hotel? Why hire a full time au pair to raise your child instead of raising them yourself?

This sort of argument patently absurd. You wouldn't fault a well-to-do man for purchasing a $800,000 dollar car, so why scoff at him for buying a $400 HDMI cable? It's the same concept. Monster Cable is simply offering a superior product to a superior consumer, and that's certainly no crime!
 
It's fairly simple: If you cannot afford a Monster cable, you must either pull yourself to a higher economic plain, or be learn to be content with the pathetic strings of shoe rubber and junk tin that you and the rest of the rabble can "afford".


What Makes Monster Products so Fantastic?

While I could certainly go on for pages about what makes this company so great, I think I'll just let the products speak for themselves. Let's take a look at 3 of the best Monster products I could find. (Prices and availability are subject to change. You can't expect great value to last forever!)


Monster Cables Rule - Component

Monster 35 Foot Component Video Cable - $600

Having recently decided to keep my DVD player in the basement and run the cables up though my heating ducts to the living room TV, I was super glad to have found this cable! No longer will I have to worry about moving my arm slightly to press a button on the remote, I'll simply walk across the house and down the stairs whenever I want to pause a movie! Check out the manufacturers specs on this bad boy:

Works with HDTV

I can't tell you how many times I've brought home a component cable only to find that it wasn't compatible with my high-end television, VCR, or surround sound system. Luckily these Monster cables are specially engineered by Europeans to ensure that they work with most standard plugs. Talk about useful!

Monster Cables Rule - NitrogenNitrogen-injected Dielectric

For all you AV amateurs out there: A Nitrogen-based build is ESSENTIAL to high definition video matter transferance. If you don't have it, the pulse wave width ducks out after only a few minutes and you get nothing but static. Before I found this cable, I purchased two different brands of 20$ of component video cables, but much to my chagrin, they only displayed half as many pixels! So I got smart and got this cable for only $580 more and I can now see the whole image. That's the last time I skimp on quality. Thanks monster!

Lifetime Warranty

Over the past  six months I must have gone through hundreds (if not thousands) of video cables. They either snap, melt, burn down portions of my home, or just plain stop working. Luckily, with Monster's signature Lifetime Guarantee, you don't have to worry about replacing another cable again. You certainly don't get that with the cheapo cables!

Fantastic Value

If 35 feet isn't long enough for you, why not purchase the 50 foot cable for $122 less:

Monster Cables Rule - Price
That's how committed to Monster Cable is to value: You get more...for less!



Monster Cables Rule - Coaxial

Monster 4 Meter Coaxial Cable - $30

You may think thirty dollars is expensive when it comes to coaxial cables, For example, have a look at this non-monster cable.
 
4 dollars for a 15 footer? Sounds like somebodies got a case of the "low quality worksmanships"! Sites like this often like to brag about how they undercut monster cable by so many hundreds of dollars. That may be true, but at what cost? That's right, picture quality. So sure, go right ahead and buy the "cheap" coaxial cable, but don't come crying to me when the amplitude of your 4 pin compression gets all out of sync.
 
What else makes monster coax cables superior? Here are just a few things.


Low-Loss Dielectric For Efficient Transmission Of Video Signals & Enhanced Signal Integrity

This might sound like a whole lot of doublespeak and mumbo-jumbo to the average consumer, but take it from me: You do NOT want to buy a coaxial cable without a Low-Loss Dielectric.
 
For one thing, a lower loss means a higher transmission rate, which translates to higher bits per pixel (meaning more D.A.S. resumption). Secondly, because of the enhanced signal integrity, you'll hear clearer highs, lower lows, and more breathy midtones in the audio than you would with a standard coax cable. The reason for this is the doubling of the waveform that the Low-Loss Dieletric allows! Not to mention the money you'll save by switching over to Monster brand coax! Because of the lower signal leakage levels, your cable bill will be substantially lower at the end of each month!

Monster Cables Rule - Nitrogen BathPatented 24K Gold Contact Connectors For Enhanced Signal Transfer & Corrosion Resistance

I swear, the next time I arrive to fix the cable in some old broad's house and find a pair of corroded connectors, I'm gonna shit. No matter how many times you tell these people, it never sinks in: IF YOU'RE GOING TO GET CHEAP CONTACT CONNECTORS YOU HAVE TO BATHE YOUR CABLE IN AN ALKALINE BATH AT LEAST ONCE A MONTH OR THEY WILL CORRODE. How hard is that to understand? Apparently too hard, because I see this all the time.

Just one more reason to suggest Monster Coaxial. With the patented gold connectors you can always rest assured you're getting the smoothest and most tempered signal possible from your VCR or cable provider, without the messy alkaline baths.

Rubber "O" Ring Gripno-Slip Design Allows Easy Connector Handling

You might not think this is important, but every year tens of Americans are strangled, lacerated, or impaled because of improper handling of coaxial cables. Monster's patented "O" Ring Grips make coaxial cable safer and easier to handle. In counties in which its use is mandated, coaxial related injuries dropped a record 4%. Talk to your congressperson about instituting these sanctions in your area today.
 

Monster Cables Rule - THX Speaker Stands

Monster THX Select Certified Speaker Stands - $350

People who don't know about audio might balk at the idea of paying $350 for speaker stands, but true audioficionados know the sway that these seemingly innocuous pieces of wood hold over your head crevasses. It's a simple equation. Better stands means more stability, and thus: Better sound quality.
 
And not only that, but what happens if you've got some high-end speakers but decide to couple them with some low quality plyboard or metal stands? That's right, those babies are gonna go flying backwards the first time there's even a hint of bass. They might punch a hole through your wall, they might punch a hole through your floor, you never know. Hell, they might even fly out the window and crush some poor kid's skull, and then where'll you be? That's right, you'll be doing a nickel up at Leavenworth with a sphincter the size of a wiffle ball. All because you were too dumb to recognize the importance of good quality speaker stands. It's enough to make you sick.
 
Here are a few more of these stands' great features.
 

Monster Cables Rule - Aluminum Modern, aluminum extrusion adds support and attractiveness to THX Speakers

How many times has this happened to you? You buy a brand new pair of speaker stands, put your speakers on them, and they collapse, destroying a beloved family pet or elderly relative. Happens all the time. Well not so with aluminum extrusion my friend. By my estimates, these stands can each hold up 6 speakers each without so much as breaking a sweat. I dare you to try that with some stand you bought at Walmart. 

Metal carpet spikes help reduce unwanted vibrations

Unwanted speaker vibration is the leading cause of carpet damage in the northern United States. Did you know that? Of course you didn't, because you were too concerned with saving a dollar to do any real research on anything, you cheap piece of garbage.

Provides optimal listening height for THX Speakers

You'd be surprised how many times I respond to a complaint of "poor sound quality" and arrive to find that the homeowner has either mounted his speakers 30 feet in the air or under floorboards, or in neighbor's home. It doesn't take a genius to figure out that speakers need to be at a certain height and location. Luckily, Monster has done the work for you with these black beauties. Just open the box, and you're good to go.
 

Final Words

Well everyone, I hope I've been able to sell you on the virtues of Monster Cabling for your home or office. If not, I hope you'll take the time to do a bit of research on your own before you make your final judgment. It'd be a shame if something happened to your TV because of faulty cables.
 
A damn shame.


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